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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26085307">Truth and Justice</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsfizzle/pseuds/mrsfizzle'>mrsfizzle</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>If She Looked Over [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DCU, Smallville, Superman - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adoption, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Family Feels, Gen, Good Person Lex Luthor, Hurt/Comfort, Mentor Fic, Redemption</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:34:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>66,025</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26085307</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsfizzle/pseuds/mrsfizzle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lex battles the darkness in his soul, his curiosity about Clark's secrets, and his father. The difference is, the Kents are on his side. SEQUEL to "If She Looked Over" (other one-shots in this series are companion pieces). Rated for mentions of abuse.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clark Kent &amp; Lex Luthor, Jonathan "Pa" Kent &amp; Lex Luthor, Martha Kent &amp; Lex Luthor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>If She Looked Over [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1856353</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>77</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Self Deprecation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>You know what's crazy? I'm super nervous about this. Sequels often disappoint. I hope not to.</p><p>This book is a sequel to If She Looked Over. However, if you choose to read this story without reading the first book in the series, you'll need to know the following.</p><p>ISLO spoilers: If She Looked Over ends in early season 3. Lex has developed a familial relationship with the Kents—he considers Jonathan and Martha to be his true (adopted) parents. As in canon, he fights a deep darkness within himself that he cannot easily control (manifested in this series as an alternate personality, or a second internal monologue), and as in canon, his pain over Clark withholding his secret fuels that bitter darkness. However, at the end of ISLO, the Kents offer to tell Lex all of their secrets, and Lex declines the offer, having developed to the point where he cares more about Clark's safety than his secret. Other than this, most events have proceeded according to canon.</p><p>To those of you who are reading this sequel having already finished If She Looked Over: your kind and thoughtful reviews are what have motivated me to continue posting as regularly as I have. Though honestly, my favorite comments are always the ones where you yell at the characters when they're being stupid :) Please never hesitate to send constructive criticism or short story requests, either.</p><p>Without further ado . . .</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"Would you like me to take a message?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>" . . . No. Tell me the truth, is he there?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"He is not."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Is that what he told you to tell me?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"His orders are to tell no one that he is away."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Are they, now."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"They are. But my loyalty is to you, sir."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Then tell me, how long has he been away?"</em>
</p><hr/><p>Lex had messed up. He'd only been staying with the Kents for four days, and he'd already messed up.</p><p>He didn't know why he had done it. There was no reason for it, since the Kents had promised to be honest and even offered to share their secrets with him. But he'd gone snooping around the farm, and stolen from them, and lied about it.</p><p>Jonathan Kent stood in the kitchen, his stony blue eyes piercing Lex's. Martha sat behind him, her eyes teary.</p><p>"Be honest with me, Lex. Was it you? Or was it your darkness?" Jonathan asked.</p><p>"I—I don't know." He couldn't remember the darkness having taken over—in fact, it had been pretty weak since his return to the Kents—but it must have, because come to think of it, he couldn't remember exactly what he had done. He certainly couldn't remember doing it. He just knew he did. "I'm sorry, Dad."</p><p>"Don't call me that. Don't <em>ever</em> call me that."</p><p>Lex flinched. "I'm sorry, Mr. Kent."</p><p>"You don't belong here. I never should have trusted you. Get out of my house."</p><p>Lex froze. He knew he should head for the door, but he had just gotten back, and he had let himself think that he was a part of their family. He wasn't ready to give that up without a fight. "I . . ."</p><p>"Did you hear me? <em>Get out!</em>" Jonathan stormed toward him, and raised his hand, and swung toward Lex's face—</p><p>Lex cried out, jolting awake. His heartbeat slowed from the nightmare, then picked up with the realization that this would be the second time he'd woken up with a shout since he'd been staying at the Kent house. And this was only his fourth night.</p><p>A light knock at the door. He rubbed his face and sat up in bed. "Come in."</p><p>Jonathan peeked his head in, his face and pajamas wrinkled from sleep. Martha had come the last time—Lex's stomach twisted in on itself at the realization that they were probably taking turns. "Everything okay?"</p><p>"Yeah. Just a dream."</p><p>"That's the second time this week."</p><p>"Sorry to wake you. You don't have to check on me if it happens again."</p><p>Jonathan breathed in like he was going to say something, then stopped and started over. "Sure you don't want to talk about it?"</p><p>"I'm okay. Thanks, Mr. Kent."</p><p>He rubbed the back of his head. "Okay. Hey, uh, Lex . . . I, uh, I'll answer to whatever's most comfortable for you, but . . . you know you can always call me . . . uh, what you called me the other day."</p><p>"Oh, sorry, I meant . . ." Lex's cheeks burned. He couldn't quite get himself to say the word. "Good night."</p><p>Jonathan sighed. "Good night, son." He stepped back into the hallway and closed the door.</p><p>Lex settled back under the covers. He tossed and turned for the rest of the night.</p><hr/><p>Lex sat at the breakfast table alone, taking tiny, hesitant bites of dry toast. Eating was still difficult. The difficulty had nothing to do with taste, either. After three months of living on mealworms and half-rotten fish that washed up on the shores, he hadn't gotten back to the point where taste felt relevant. But so far, he couldn't keep down any more than a cup of fluids or a few bites of solid food.</p><p>Martha sat down beside him at the table. "Doing okay?"</p><p>"I think so." He put down the second half of the toast. "I've had enough."</p><p>"See if you can finish the slice?"</p><p>"I don't want to lose what I've already eaten."</p><p>"Okay." She put her hand on his forearm, and he relaxed into her touch. He still hadn't gotten over how much he had missed her. "Your father is going to want to talk to you later this morning."</p><p>"My—oh. Right." It would be awhile before the words <em>your father </em>didn't make him think of Lionel. When he didn't address them directly, he couldn't quite get himself to think of them as his mom and dad, but he'd managed to start thinking of them by their first names. Small steps.</p><p>"I want to tell you some things now. In case he forgets."</p><p>Lex swallowed. He'd done a lot of things wrong before getting stranded on that island. This wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation.</p><p>"First." She looked him deep in the eyes. "Just in case there's still any question in your mind, you are a part of our family. There are many things you can do to hurt our relationship, break our trust, and possibly even stop us from being proud of you, but there is <em>nothing</em> you can do to make us stop loving you."</p><p>Lex stared at the half-eaten toast, thinking about his nightmare. "What if I lied to you? Or stole from you?"</p><p>"Well, it would be a very long time before we could trust you again. But you would still be a part of our family."</p><p>"What if I killed someone?"</p><p>She raised her eyebrows. "I don't think you would do that, sweetie."</p><p>"But what if I did?" He didn't want to push the issue, but he really didn't know what the darkness was capable of.</p><p>She stared at him for a long time. "We probably wouldn't be able to say we were proud of you, but we'd still love you."</p><p>"What if I hurt Clark?"</p><p>Her brow furrowed. "Clark did hurt you, and you forgave him. So did we."</p><p>"That's not what I mean. What if I <em>really</em> hurt him?"</p><p>She tilted her head. "What if Clark really hurt you?"</p><p>"I can't imagine Clark doing that."</p><p>"Well, I can't imagine you doing that, either." She shook her head. "Why are you asking these questions, Lex?"</p><p>"Because . . . I lost control three months ago. And I need to know." Lex had no intention of letting the darkness take him over again, but he had never wanted it to take over the first time. He didn't know what they could do for him if it did, but that actually wasn't what was on his mind in this moment. He had never told his new "parents" about Julian. He was pretty sure it had been an accident, but he still needed to know that if and when they found out, they wouldn't kick him out. "Please, Mom."</p><p>She nodded slowly. "Okay. Let's say Clark did hurt you. What do you think we would do?"</p><p>He looked down at his hands. "I don't know. I guess you might be upset."</p><p>"<em>Might?</em> Well, what do you think we'd do if you hurt him?"</p><p>He met her eyes. "That's different. I'm not your real son."</p><p>She stared at him for a second. "Clark is adopted, Lex. Do you think that makes him any less our real son?"</p><p>"No, but—"</p><p>"If we had a child by blood, do you think we would love Clark any less than that child?"</p><p>Lex didn't say anything. It wasn't about blood, in his mind—he of all people knew how little blood could be worth—but he didn't have the words to explain what it <em>was</em> about.</p><p>"You're both adopted. You're both our sons. We love you just as much as we love him."</p><p>He nodded slowly. The word <em>son</em> meant different things for different people—Lionel had loved Julian and hated Lex. While Lex was starting to trust that the Kents loved him, the thought that they loved him as much as Clark wouldn't process in his mind. "It's going to take some time."</p><p>"I know, sweetie. And I want you to be open with us. If Lionel makes you feel worthless, or if you have doubts about your place here, or if you ever feel like we're being unfair to you, I want you to tell me." She put a hand on the side of his head. "But I don't <em>ever</em> want to hear you say you're not our son. And neither does Jona—your father."</p><p>"Okay. But Clark is a good kid. I'm a mess. There's a good reason Lionel could never love me, I—"</p><p>"Stop." Martha leaned toward him a little, her eyes piercing his. "Tell me something you like about yourself."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I want to help you, but I'm tired of hearing my son say terrible things about himself."</p><p>Lex sighed, but he knew she wouldn't let him off the hook, so he tried to think of something to say. He thought about his intelligence, but he wasn't sure he always liked how he used it, even if it was useful. Then he thought about the way he felt when the Kents praised his compassion, but he didn't usually believe them, especially while he was still fighting off the darkness. He thought about the times he'd shown bravery, but that didn't seem appropriate right now, when he was too nervous to eat a whole piece of toast.</p><p>He said the only thing he could think of: "My . . . hair."</p><p>Martha's eyebrows raised. "Your baldness?"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"I thought you hated it."</p><p>Lex's face felt warm. "I hate how people treat me because of it. But I like how it looks."</p><p>She blinked a couple of times. "Um, I'm glad. You look good. But I wasn't talking about your appearance."</p><p>"I know. But I didn't know what else to say."</p><p>"Well, what do you think we like about you?"</p><p>He clenched his teeth. He was <em>not</em> comfortable with this exercise. "I don't want to do this."</p><p>She frowned. "Okay. I don't want to hear you self-deprecating anymore."</p><p>"It's a habit."</p><p>"And I intend to break that habit."</p><p>He swallowed. "What are you gonna do?"</p><p>"For every time you insult yourself, I'm going to ask you to hand-write a page on one of your qualities that you like."</p><p>"There aren't many of them," he muttered.</p><p>"That's your last warning."</p><p>He hadn't even realized he'd done it again. "Fine."</p><p>She reached out and put a hand on the back of his neck, squeezing and looking him in the eyes. "Do you have the <em>vaguest idea</em> of how much we love you?"</p><p>He'd been annoyed with her, but at this, his insides softened against his will.</p><p>She let go. "No, I guess you don't. You'll find out when you have kids of your own."</p><p>"Not likely. The only women who are ever interested in me are in it for the money. Can't blame them, I—"</p><p>"Ah, ah. That's one page. Finish that sentence and it'll be two."</p><p>He groaned. "No, come on, Mom, I've got enough to do to catch up on work."</p><p>She smiled and leaned over to plant a kiss on his forehead. "Then you'd best start being nicer to my son."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. House Rules</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>2x23, Exodus, seems to take place in May, while 3x1, Exile, and 3x2, Phoenix, take place three months later (so, August). But the season was released in October, and I usually assume episodes "take place" around the time they're released. So I'm imagining a 6-8 week gap between 3x2, Phoenix, and 3x3, Extinction. Maybe I'm wrong, but this is my fanfic—in this world, there's an 8 week gap :) Point being, the first seven chapters of this story take place in this gap.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"Most days, he stops by the mansion in the mornings, sometimes in the evenings. But he doesn't sleep here."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"How long has that been going on?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"The last time you spoke with him in person, he left after your conversation. He hasn't slept here since."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Four days, then."</em>
</p><hr/><p>After breakfast, Lex had enough time to brush his teeth, get dressed, and start looking over some briefings his employees had sent to his laptop before there was a knock on his door. He set his laptop on the nightstand and went over to open it.</p><p>Jonathan and Martha both stood in the hallway. "How're you feeling, Lex?" Jonathan asked.</p><p>"I'm okay. I'm ready to talk." Now was as good a time as any to get it over with.</p><p>Martha sat down on the bed, and Jonathan sat beside her. Lex pulled up the chair from the desk in the corner and sat to face them, already cringing in anticipation of the stinging words.</p><p>"Breathe, son, I'm not here to scold you."</p><p>Lex let his breath out at that. It wasn't what he was expecting, but it was a relief.</p><p>"We already talked about your darkness taking over. From the sound of it, it wasn't your fault. We're going to keep that topic of conversation open, though, and you're going to be honest with us if it's causing you problems, correct?"</p><p>"Yes, sir."</p><p>"Good. We didn't talk much about that, ah, that room Clark found in your house. Do we need to?"</p><p>Lex swallowed. "I'm going to take it apart. If I need to know anything, I'll ask you. I won't go behind your backs."</p><p>"And we won't lie to you if you ask."</p><p>Lex half-smiled.</p><p>Jonathan cleared his throat. "Martha and I have been talking, and . . . we think it might be best for you to stay here a little longer than planned."</p><p>Lex nodded. He'd been expecting that. He was nervous about Lionel finding out, but he could manage that by stopping by the mansion in the afternoons and sneaking out in the evenings. Besides, after five torturous months away from the Kents, the temptation to hold close to their love was too great. "How long do you want me to stay?"</p><p>"Well, that's up to you, Lex," Martha said. "We had asked you to stay until your physical health recovered, but your emotional and mental health have a long way to go. We're worried about you, and we know you're worried about the darkness inside of you. We'd love to have you stay for a few weeks or even a few months."</p><p>"Of course," Jonathan said, "you're an adult. We're not going to force you to do anything you don't want to."</p><p>"Actually," Lex said, "that's something I've been thinking about."</p><p>"What is?" Martha asked.</p><p>Lex took a deep breath. "You've wanted to respect the fact that I'm an adult, and I appreciate it. But I never had normal teenage years, or a healthy relationship with my father as an adult."</p><p>Jonathan nodded slowly. "What are you saying?"</p><p>"I've never had boundaries or limitations. My fa—Lionel's only rule was not to get caught." He swallowed hard, not quite believing he was about to say what had been on his mind. "I know you want to treat me differently from Clark, and you want to give me the freedom to choose whether to follow your advice, but . . . maybe it's better if you don't."</p><p>"You want us to treat you like a teenager?"</p><p>It didn't sound the way he wanted it to sound. "Lionel raised me to be like him, but I'd rather be like the person Clark is becoming. As it is, I'm not strong enough to contain the darkness if it tries to take over again. I'd sleep better knowing I have to answer to you."</p><p>"You want us to hold you to the same rules we have for Clark."</p><p>Lex looked away for a moment, then back at them. "Without accountability, I'm going to slip back into old habits. I don't trust myself to make all of my own choices right now. I'm . . . I'm not ready."</p><p>Jonathan raised an eyebrow. "We're strict with Clark."</p><p>"That's what I need."</p><p>"His curfew is eleven. He's grounded if he misses it without calling."</p><p>"Sure." If Lex was living with the Kents, he would feel disrespectful coming home much later than they went to bed, anyway.</p><p>"He isn't allowed to swear, drink, or have physical relations with a girl under this roof."</p><p>That was more difficult. "Okay."</p><p>"He has to follow traffic laws."</p><p>Much harder, but it was also comforting. No one had ever cared enough about his safety to tell him that. "Any others?"</p><p>Jonathan rubbed the back of his neck. "He's not allowed to lie to us. We ask him to come to us for advice if he's not sure about the right thing to do, and he knows it's never acceptable to hurt someone outside of self defense. He also has to obey our direct orders."</p><p>That would be a huge leap of trust for Lex, but the Kents didn't usually issue many direct orders, anyway. "You should know that I'm a good liar. You might have to make me prove that I'm telling you the truth, if you're not sure."</p><p>"Noted." Jonathan nodded. "There are some other rules that aren't relevant to you because they have to do with Clark's performance in school. I also give him more chores than I'd allow you to do, because your job is a lot more demanding than his schoolwork. But if I'm going to be raising you as if you were a teenager, I'm going to add a couple. You will sleep at least seven hours every night and eat a full three meals a day, once your health allows it."</p><p>He nodded. He probably needed that.</p><p>"And because I know you, I'm going to give you a budget for Christmas and birthday presents and expect you to keep to it."</p><p>Lex grumbled—Jonathan knew him too well. "Fine. Any others?"</p><p>Jonathan looked to Martha, who shrugged. "That pretty well covers it," she said, "other than some basic housekeeping. You don't have to be home for dinner every night, but please call me by five if you won't make it. You're welcome to bring home friends if you'd like, just ask our permission first. I expect you to keep your room clean, and we'll set up a schedule to make sure we can all use the washer and dryer."</p><p>That last part didn't surprise him, but he hadn't really thought about it, either, since he was used to having housekeepers. "Of course."</p><p>There was a short pause as Martha considered him. "Sweetie," she said finally, "I'm not sure how this is going to work. Clark usually follows our rules, but when he breaks them, he knows he can expect consequences from us. You're an adult, we can't force you to do anything you don't want to do."</p><p>"You're making me write an essay for self-deprecating."</p><p>"I'm not making you. I asked you to."</p><p>"But if I said no, would you really let me get away with that?"</p><p>Her brow furrowed. "I guess not."</p><p>"Technically, you can't force Clark to do anything he doesn't want to do, either. He could run away if he wanted to."</p><p>"That's true, but we're in charge of him. Because he's a minor."</p><p>"Exactly. He accepts your authority until he's eighteen. That's the agreement you have, because you assume he's going to be mature enough to make his own choices when he's eighteen."</p><p>She nodded slowly.</p><p>"Clark is going to spend his teenage years learning how to be an adult. I spent my teenage years learning how to get my father's attention." Lex took a deep breath. "I'm not asking for forever. It's just . . . this isn't really a Luthor thing to say, but I need help."</p><p>Jonathan and Martha exchanged a glance, then Jonathan said, "Okay, son. If you agree to this, we're going to hold you to it for a period of time. Let's say six months."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>"At the end of the six months, we'll decide together if you need to go another six. But we're not going to give you the option to back out before then."</p><p>"I understand."</p><p>Jonathan's eyebrows narrowed. "I'm going to give you rules for when you're at the mansion, too."</p><p>Lex squirmed. Giving up control like this went against every fiber of his being. "O-okay."</p><p>"No more than one drink in twenty-four hours. I won't tell you you can't swear in frustration or in context, but you don't swear <em>at</em> anyone. And, ah . . . I'm guessing I'm a bit late to convince you to wait until engagement or marriage, but if you want my rules . . . I'm going to say you don't sleep with a woman you don't love."</p><p>Lex blinked. No dating for him for awhile. That was probably for the best, for the time being. "What happens when Clark breaks your rules?"</p><p>"We hurt," Martha said.</p><p>Lex felt a warm chill pass over his limbs. He had thought asking them to hold him accountable to their rules was giving them power over him, but in some ways, it seemed to be the opposite.</p><p>"We talk about it," Jonathan said. "If there were natural consequences to his actions, we have to let him suffer through them. If there weren't, we might ground him, or give him extra work, or put him on restriction."</p><p>"Speaking of which, I need to go check on Clark," Martha said.</p><p>She stood, leaned down to kiss Jonathan, and gave Lex's shoulder a gentle squeeze on her way out.</p><p>Lex thought again about his dream the night before. "Dad, what if I do something terrible?"</p><p>Jonathan raised his eyebrows. "Are you planning on it?"</p><p>"No. But I can't always control the darkness inside me."</p><p>"What are you worried about, Lex? That we're going to kick you out?"</p><p>"It had crossed my mind."</p><p>"Forget it. Family is unconditional, son. You're not getting rid of us."</p><p>"Okay." Lex knew the next question was probably personal, but he needed to ask it if it was going to apply to him as well. "Do you hit Clark if he messes up bad enough?"</p><p>Jonathan blinked. "No."</p><p>"Never?"</p><p>"Not anymore. When he was little, I slapped his hand once in awhile, as a last resort to keep him from doing things like sticking a paperclip in an outlet. Parenting you like a teenager might involve discipline, and it might be painful—some of the farm chores will leave you pretty sore." Jonathan looked him right in the eyes. "But I will <em>never</em> strike you. You have my word."</p><p>Lex released a breath he didn't realize he was holding. "Thank you."</p><p>Jonathan's eyebrows narrowed. "What did he do to you, son?"</p><p>Lex didn't have to ask who "he" was. He figured he'd have shrugged off the question if Martha were in the room, for fear of upsetting her, but Jonathan wanted to know the truth. "It's usually just a slap across the face, but I've had a few beatings over the years, with a fist or a belt. Once with a fencing sword."</p><p>"That's horrible."</p><p>Lex shrugged. "He doesn't do it a lot. Physical abuse isn't really his style, unless it supports his psychological manipulations." He realized he should have been speaking in past tense, to worry Jonathan less.</p><p>If Jonathan noticed, he didn't comment on it. "What I can't understand is why your father—"</p><p>"Lionel." Lex corrected him before he could think about it.</p><p>Jonathan raised his eyebrows.</p><p>"I—I've started thinking of him as Lionel, not as my father." <em>Because you're my father now</em>, he wanted to add, but he couldn't get himself to say the words. "Blood doesn't mean much to me anymore. I thought you might feel the same way, since your son is adopted."</p><p>"<em>Sons</em>," Jonathan corrected him. "Both of my sons are adopted."</p><p>Lex shifted his weight a little in his seat. "I know it's not quite the same thing, though." Martha had told him she loved him as much as she loved Clark, but he didn't quite believe her, and he definitely didn't think Jonathan was there yet.</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>Once again, he didn't have the words to explain what he wanted to say. "Clark has been your son for a lot longer." No, those were the wrong words—they wouldn't love a newborn baby less than Clark. "His adoption is legal."</p><p>"So?"</p><p>"So, I don't expect you to . . . love me the same as him."</p><p>"Of course not."</p><p>Lex hadn't expected Jonathan to be so up front about it. It stung more than he would have expected.</p><p>"You and Clark are different people. It's a different feeling for each of you, but love isn't a feeling. It's a choice, and an action. My love for you is different from my love for Clark, and even more different from my love for Martha." His eyes pierced Lex's. "But that doesn't mean I love you <em>less.</em>"</p><p>Lex's eyes watered as warmth and joy flooded through him. He was increasingly mortified about how often he cried in front of the Kents, but there didn't seem to be anything he could do about it.</p><p>Jonathan stood. "Come here."</p><p>Lex did. He couldn't help but flinch when Jonathan reached his hands toward him, but he found himself folded into a strong embrace. He didn't resist, just buried his face in Jonathan's shoulder and rested.</p><p>"Love you, son."</p><p>"I love you too, Dad."</p><p>Jonathan patted Lex's back and let go. "For what it's worth, it's possible to legally adopt an adult. And we're happy to go through the process if you would like . . . but . . ."</p><p>"Let me guess. It would legally estrange me from my father, which would put all of us in the direct line of fire for his wrath, and I'd lose my position at the plant, as well as my inheritance and everything I currently own."</p><p>Jonathan nodded.</p><p>"A small price to pay, except the part where it puts us in danger."</p><p>"I guess you'll just have to trust that you're a part of this family without the piece of paper that says so."</p><p>Lex smiled. "I think I can do that."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Affection</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I get a lot of comments talking about how much people love the parenting in this series. Thank you—I love writing it! But I need to say something.</p><p>There's going to be an extra helping of parental care, instruction, and discipline in the next few chapters. I like to think the Kents are doing the best they know how for their very unique parenting challenges, but they are by no means perfect. I will always be more concerned about staying in character than about displaying perfect parenting, and occasionally, I'll be more concerned about story continuity than staying in character. (Example: given the cultural context, John Schneider didn't think Jonathan Kent would have balked at taking Clark to the woodshed in his teens. Schneider might be right, but that would have been a long, confusing, controversial tangent in a scene where Lex was learning to feel safe with the Kents.)</p><p>All this to say, I'm balancing a lot of conflicting considerations when I write parenting scenes. Modeling my opinions on what makes a good parent is a low priority for me. For this reason, I give this disclaimer: even the positive interactions in this story do NOT always reflect my views on parenting. If they did, you should be taking my opinions with a huge grain of salt, since I'm neither a parent nor a psychologist.</p><p>This chapter isn't particularly controversial, though :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"Have you asked him where he's staying?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm not supposed to know he isn't at home, you half wit. If he finds out you know, he'll fire you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Of course."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That's why I need you to find out where he's spending his time of late."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That might be easier said than done, sir."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Did I ask how easy it would be?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>" . . . No, sir."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Get it done."</em>
</p><hr/><p>Lex worked through the morning on the files his employees had sent to him. He ran out of steam after four hours, which meant he'd be even further behind at the end of the day than he had been at the start of it, but it was the longest work day he had pulled in months, and his head was pounding by lunchtime.</p><p>He managed to get through a half a cup of steamed vegetables and a glass of water before feeling nauseous. Martha said it was an improvement, but she still made him take a nap after he ate.</p><p>He worked on the "punishment" essay she'd assigned when he woke up—he wrote about his intelligence, which was easy enough, even if it was uncomfortable. He'd have to be pretty careful moving forward, though, because he was pretty sure writing about anything else would be pretty difficult. His adoptive mom skimmed it over, then gave him a quick hug, along with permission to help Clark with some of the chores in the barn as long as he was careful not to overexert himself.</p><p>The last time Lex had been in the barn, Clark had shoved him and taunted him about the caves, starting their two-month fight that was followed by his three-month exile. A lot had changed since then, but Lex still felt a mild pang when he entered the barn, remembering how much that day had hurt.</p><p>Clark looked up from his work as Lex grabbed a pitchfork and joined him. Clark's face was barely flushed, and he didn't seem to be sweating, but that wasn't necessarily surprising. Doing these chores regularly meant he was in pretty good shape.</p><p>"Are you supposed to be doing this?" Clark asked.</p><p>Lex shrugged. "Mom said it was okay. I could use the exercise. Maybe it'll help me work up an appetite by dinner time."</p><p>Clark nodded, but lowered his pitchfork and turned to face Lex. "You're gonna find out sooner or later, the reason I'm grounded is because I was in Metropolis all summer."</p><p>Lex looked up from his work. "Yeah?"</p><p>"I ran away from home."</p><p>Lex blinked. "For the whole summer?"</p><p>Clark nodded, but there was a distant, pained expression in his eyes. "I blamed myself for my mom's miscarriage, and . . ."</p><p>Clark kept talking, but Lex missed most of Clark's explanation as adrenaline poured through his veins. He had managed to completely forget that Martha had even been pregnant—it had never even crossed his mind. That first night he'd come back, he didn't stop consider whether coming by late would wake up the baby. But no, she'd <em>lost</em> her child. She must have been devastated. Part of Lex felt terrible for not expressing sympathy, but more of him had no idea what he would say even now if he were to bring it up.</p><p>" . . . so I know I've got a lot of work to do to rebuild people's trust. And I know before I even did all that to Lana and Chloe, I hurt you, too, and you never even got my apology letter."</p><p>"It's okay, Clark."</p><p>"Dad says it's not okay."</p><p>Lex tried to remember the terminology Jonathan preferred. "Well then, it's forgiven."</p><p>Clark smiled for a moment, then he became serious again. "Four months ago, you tried to explain that room, and I cut you off."</p><p>Lex swallowed. "Ah. I really don't know, Clark. You were lying to me, and I was angry over all the things I couldn't understand, and it was an outlet for the darkness inside of me. I thought by keeping it contained, I could protect you from it. But I just made things worse."</p><p>"You said it wasn't about me."</p><p>"Most of it wasn't, until your dad told me everything was connected. I never would have connected the caves to you if you hadn't kept lying to me about them."</p><p>"How'd you know I was lying?"</p><p>"You're a terrible liar. Your cover stories don't make any sense. <em>Ever.</em>"</p><p>Clark winced.</p><p>Lex looked down at his hands, still gripping the pitchfork. "It doesn't matter. It's over. I'm going to take apart the room, and I hope that's enough that we can still be friends."</p><p>"No."</p><p>Lex looked up to meet Clark's eyes.</p><p>"Brothers."</p><p>Lex smiled and nodded, filling up with so much happiness that his throat choked up. "Brothers," he said. "And hey, you're sure you're okay with me calling your parents <em>Mom</em> and <em>Dad</em>?"</p><p>Clark grinned. "I'd be sad if you didn't."</p><hr/><p>Martha was sitting at the kitchen counter, finishing a more thorough read-through of Lex's essay, when Jonathan came into the house for water.</p><p>"What's this?" He glanced over her shoulder.</p><p>"Oh, just something I made Lex write." She set it down and turned to face him.</p><p>He didn't even look down at the paper. "You're glowing."</p><p>She beamed. "Can you blame me? The house is so full. And alive. Jonathan, they're <em>both</em> alive, and they're <em>both </em>home, and . . ." She trailed off, and he gathered her into his arms. He was sweaty and half covered in dirt, but she couldn't have cared less.</p><p>"Clark was okay with the extra chores when you talked to him?" Jonathan asked.</p><p>"He's taking all of this really well," Martha said. "I think it's going to be awhile before he's completely recovered, but he's doing better than I had expected."</p><p>"I'm not going easy on him."</p><p>"He put on a red kryptonite ring and robbed banks for three months. If you went easy on him, he'd never forgive himself."</p><p>Jonathan sighed. "I can't afford to, anyway. Even with the financial help, we're pretty far behind."</p><p>"Clark knows that. He's not upset about the extra work. He's going to be okay."</p><p>"Good. How about Lex?"</p><p>"Getting better. He kept insulting himself this morning, which is why I made him write the essay."</p><p>He sighed. "What was it this time? Saying he's like Lionel?"</p><p>"He said he was a mess, and he told me he didn't blame Lionel for never loving him. Then he said no woman would ever want him for anything but his money."</p><p>"I see. How's the essay?"</p><p>"It's okay. He wrote about being intelligent, but he spent most of the space writing about how useful it is. He has a long way to go." She put a hand on Jonathan's forearm. "I wish you could have seen the look on his face when you hugged him the other night. It was beautiful. I don't think Lionel's ever done that for him."</p><p>"It's a little strange. I'm not real hands-on with Clark, he hasn't seemed to need it since he started high school, but . . ." His expression turned dark. "Lex wanted to know if I was going to hit him. As part of parenting him. I promised I would never do that, but then I went to hug him, and he flinched."</p><p>Martha didn't think her heart could have been more broken, but apparently she'd been wrong. "Did he let you hug him?"</p><p>Jonathan nodded. "He seemed to be doing a lot better after. He told me he loved me, and he called me <em>Dad</em>."</p><p>"Did you tell him you love him?"</p><p>"Of course."</p><p>She hummed softly. "Maybe this is a wake up call for us. You said you don't think Clark needs physical affection. Maybe he doesn't, or maybe he just doesn't express it well. But Lex clearly needs it, and not just from me. I think you should try showing more to both of them."</p><p>He swallowed. "I don't . . . I'm not really . . . My father didn't . . ."</p><p>"Do you wish he had?"</p><p>He sighed. "You know, at the time, I really didn't think about it. But now that he's gone . . . I wish <em>I</em> had."</p><p>"Then it's worth trying with your own sons. You don't have to kiss them, or hold their hands, but you could hug them more. I try to do it when they wake up and before they go to sleep, and sometimes when they get home at the end of school or work, if they look like they need it." She chuckled. "Lex needs it every day. Clark needs it when he's been fighting with Lana."</p><p>"Ah. So basically, when they're sad."</p><p>She considered it, then said, "They need it most from me when they're sad. I think they need it from you when they're <em>scared</em>."</p><p>He nodded slowly.</p><p>"Clark's dealing with guilt, and he's overwhelmed with everything that's happened. But at the beginning of the summer, he was scared of Jor El. And he's always nervous about people finding out his secret."</p><p>"I feel like we're more worried about that than he is."</p><p>"We worry about people finding out and hurting him. He worries about that, but he's also worried his friends will find out and reject him." She frowned. "But Lex . . . he's afraid all the time."</p><p>"Of his inner darkness."</p><p>"And his father. But it's more than that." She thought about how to phrase it, then it dawned on her. "He's scared of us."</p><p>"<em>Us?</em>"</p><p>"He hasn't been vulnerable with anyone since he was a little kid. Now, he's given us power over him."</p><p>"If he's scared to give us power, why would he ask us to parent him like a teenager?"</p><p>"I don't mean the power to discipline him. That's nothing compared with the power to accept or reject him. Jonathan, you can put him in tears with the words 'I'm disappointed.' I bet Lionel couldn't do that if he told him he wasn't worthy to be his son." She wasn't sure how harsh Lionel usually was with her words, but given Lex's insecurity, she could imagine Lionel saying that, and worse, on the regular.</p><p>"We keep telling him he's part of our family, and that we're not going to push him away," Jonathan said.</p><p>"I know, but I'm not sure what <em>family</em> means to him."</p><p>"We've told him before."</p><p>"That's good. Keep telling him with your words." Martha smiled. "And tell him with your open arms, too."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Parenting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"This had better be good."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I know where he's been going. He's visiting the Kents."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Really. How did you come by this information?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I didn't, sir, but I'm sure of it. When he leaves the mansion, he wears his outdoor work clothes and takes his cheapest car. And he's been . . . smiling."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ah. Well, that's an easy fix."</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>In another week, Lex was able to eat normally, albeit lightly, and his cuts were healed, with the exception of a few that would scar. By the end of his second week, he was also able to put in full work days, and he spent most of the day between breakfast and dinner either in his study at the mansion or at the plant.</p><p>He was glad he'd asked the Kents for accountability. The rules were strict, but clear, and Lex had no interest in testing his adoptive parents by breaking the rules—he could see how hard they were working Clark as a punishment for whatever he'd done over the summer. Lex was home hours before curfew most nights. On the weekends, and some evenings, he did attend social events in Metropolis, but he never arrived home a minute after eleven.</p><p>Some part of him missed the late-night partying. He probably would have attended and drunk too much and seduced women he barely knew, even knowing it was harming him and them. But the temptation came to nothing, because he knew if he came home after curfew, his adoptive parents would be upset with him and probably ground him. It was uncomfortable, but while he was still worried about his inner darkness, he preferred being treated like a teenager over having to worry about becoming someone he didn't want to be.</p><p>Besides, evenings at the Kents were more enjoyable. Often they just watched television, or read books, or visited with the farm animals. Many nights, they didn't spend much time all together, and Lex enjoyed the time alone in their guest room, but he never had to be alone if he didn't want to be. A couple of times, Lex helped Martha with baking. He was a disaster, but even in those two evenings, he improved from her teaching.</p><p>As he grew more comfortable with his new family, he had to be especially careful about the way he spoke. For one thing, he didn't think they'd appreciate him swearing. He was pretty sure Martha had been kidding about making him wash his mouth out with soap, but he didn't want to test it, either. He accidentally cursed loudly once after stubbing his toe in the barn, and Jonathan and Clark didn't say anything about it. But he muttered an f-bomb over a letter from a board member one day within earshot of Jonathan, who looked up and said, in a warning tone, "<em>Alexander</em>." Lex's face burned hot, and he didn't do it again.</p><p>Swearing was easy enough to avoid. Self-deprecation was a more insidious habit. Over the course of the week, Martha caught him insulting himself four more times.</p><p>The first time, she let him off with a final warning. The second time, he wrote about his cleverness, and she told him it was too similar to the first paper and she'd make him redo it if it happened again. The third time, he procrastinated on the paper until she offered him a lecture as an alternate, which he accepted—her speech about the ways she'd seen him act selflessly brought tears to his eyes. The fourth time, he asked if he could write lines instead of a paper, and by the time she let him stop writing "I cannot do anything to lose my place in this family," his hand was cramping painfully.</p><p>After that, he stopped self-deprecating. He had reason to be more careful—because he hated the consequences—but he also didn't <em>have</em> to be as careful, because he wasn't as tempted to self-deprecate. Negative thoughts about himself just didn't occupy his mind as much as they had.</p><p>Part of that was the correction and discipline, but a bigger part was his every day life. For his first two years of working at the plant, every setback was catastrophic, every small victory was belittled by his father, and every bigger victory was twisted by the media. Now, his adoptive family listened to his frustrations, and celebrated and commended his victories. It allowed him to minimize the time he spent evaluating himself and focus outward instead. On his best days, he thought neither highly nor poorly of himself, because he didn't feel the need to worry about himself much at all.</p><p>There was one major change from the last time he'd stayed with them: if Jonathan had had any aversion to frequent physical affection in the past, he seemed to have overcome it. Martha had always given him "Mom hugs" a few times a day when he stayed with them, but Jonathan's closeness filled a different gap in his life. One night, the news talked about how the plant was recovering under Lex's leadership, and Jonathan gave him a quick hug before he retired to his room that night, firmly telling him, "I couldn't be prouder." Another time, he embraced Lex before he went to work on a day when he was going to have to have a tough board meeting, stating his confidence that Lex would do well. The one that stood out, though, was when Lex had another nightmare. It was so bad that there were tears in his eyes, and Jonathan actually made him get out of bed to take him into his arms for a little longer and remind him that their love was unconditional. Lex slept like a baby after that.</p><p>Lex once mentioned to Clark how much he was enjoying the time with them. Clark gave him a confused look, and Lex realized two things. One, it was probably ironic for him to have brought it up while they were spreading manure. Two, everything Lex found so incredible and unique about his new home was normal life for the Kents. Clark had no way of knowing how good he had it. Clark sometimes groaned or rolled his eyes when his parents corrected him. Lex often felt like doing the same, but he had also spent years starving for the love and care that drove the strictness, and for the security that the moral instruction would make him a better man.</p>
<hr/><p>On a Friday evening after a long day at the plant, almost three weeks after he'd returned from the island, Lex returned to the mansion to pick up some things for the weekend. Lionel was waiting for him in the study, sitting at the desk.</p><p>"Dad," Lex made himself say as he set down his briefcase on the couch. "To what do I owe the—" he gave Lionel a once-over— "pleasure?"</p><p>"What, a man can't drive three hours just to visit his son?"</p><p>"Come on, Dad. I don't insult your intelligence, don't insult mine."</p><p>Lionel chuckled and stood, taking a few strides toward Lex, who couldn't help but tense a bit. "You were away a long time, son. I wanted to make sure you were settling back into things."</p><p>"I'm fine."</p><p>"I can't imagine what those three months must have been like for you. I'm sure you're thankful to be home, now. Living in the mansion. Sleeping in your own bed."</p><p>Lex froze. Somehow, Lionel must have found out he hadn't been staying at the mansion. But Lex wasn't about to admit it without a fight. "I'm thankful to be alive."</p><p>"And how are things going with—" he grimaced— "LexCorp?"</p><p>"You shouldn't have to ask. We're your competitors, you should be keeping better tabs on us." Lex smirked. "I'm disappointed."</p><p>"I just thought—"</p><p>"Cut the crap, old man. I'm tired of your games. Tell me what you want, or get out."</p><p>Lionel's eyes narrowed, and for a moment, Lex thought he'd gone too far with the <em>old man</em> comment. But then Lionel let out his breath. "Need I remind you that everything you think you own is mine."</p><p>A chill ran up Lex's spine. "Not LexCorp."</p><p>"No, not LexCorp." A light chuckle. "But the roof over your head and the clothes on your back."</p><p>Lex swallowed. "You've made your point. Is this the part where you tell me what you want?"</p><p>"I want to know what your end game is with the Kents."</p><p>Lex locked eyes with his father. "They're under my protection. That's all you need to know."</p><p>"I seem to recall you realizing, a few months ago, that you couldn't trust them."</p><p>"We had a misunderstanding."</p><p>"Or they finally told you the truth."</p><p>Lex understood, again, why they'd been so hesitant to open up to him. "I don't know what you're talking about."</p><p>"No?" Lionel meandered back to the desk and started fidgeting with one of the trinkets on Lex's desk. "Clark Kent is a remarkable boy, don't you think?"</p><p>"He's a good kid."</p><p>"Yes. But he's more than that, isn't he? Otherwise you'd never have struck an interest in their family."</p><p>The darkness spoke for the first time in awhile: "<em>He's not wrong.</em>"</p><p>Lex winced, feeling the presence of that dark inner voice inside of him, strong and menacing, for the first time in awhile. It was true that it had encouraged him to strike up a friendship with Clark when they'd first met, but his nobler side had been in full agreement about the potential value of Clark's friendship. "They're good people."</p><p>"Then what's their interest in you?"</p><p>"Why do you care?"</p><p>"Because you haven't been yourself lately. You're refusing to come back to LuthorCorp—"</p><p>"<em>That's</em> what this is about?"</p><p>"Yes! But it's not my primary concern. You're <em>lying</em> to yourself, son. You don't belong with people like that."</p><p>Lex didn't know what to say. He couldn't quite get himself to correct Lionel, and the words rang too true for a witty rebuttal. So he settled for, "I want to be a good man."</p><p>Lionel laughed. "Good men are seldom great. You're destined for greatness, Lex, it's in your blood."</p><p>Anger blinded him, and he spat, "If I could wash your blood out of me and replace it with Jonathan Kent's, I would."</p><p>Lionel slapped Lex hard across the face. Lex gasped and stumbled back, touching his fingers to the stinging skin.</p><p>"Who do you think you are, Lex?"</p><p>Lex breathed hard, wiping the blood away from his mouth. He'd forgotten how much that hurt.</p><p>"What, you take pity on a few employees, give a few dollars to charity, and suddenly that makes you a Kent?"</p><p>"No, but I—"</p><p>"Do they know about your brother? Do they know about the meteor rock experiments?"</p><p>"Julian was an accident. And I'm not hurting anyone with the experiments." Lex chided himself internally—he'd just admitted to the experiments. He wasn't even sure how Lionel knew about them.</p><p>"Stop lying to yourself, Lex, you were jealous of Julian from the day he was born. And your experiments haven't hurt anyone <em>yet.</em> What will the Kents say the day they do?" Lionel's eyes flashed. "How about Duncan Allenmeyer, hm? They know about him?"</p><p>Lex had no response for that. He trudged over to his decanter and poured a drink, then downed it in one.</p><p>"Now, I wonder, what would Jonathan Kent say if he knew you were drinking?"</p><p>"That I'm twenty-three and I'm allowed one drink." Lex realized too late that he should have phrased that differently.</p><p>Lionel raised his eyebrows. "Well. That's very specific. Almost as if . . . oh, no . . . but it couldn't be . . ."</p><p>"Save me the melodrama." He probably should have been speaking more carefully, seeing as his father was in a violent mood. The alcohol burned on his split lip, but it was also numbing his insides, so he wasn't thinking as clearly before speaking.</p><p>"I pretended to be blind, Lex, but you really are. Can't you see they're manipulating you?"</p><p>"You're the one who's manipulating me."</p><p>"I'm not the one who's <em>lying</em> to you! Ask yourself <em>honestly, </em>Lex. Do you really think you could turn down greatness to be <em>good?</em> Do you even <em>want</em> to?"</p><p>Lex breathed in to respond, but he could feel the darkness's cold presence. Insisting he could be a good man while it hovered in the forefront of his consciousness was about as realistic as looking Martha Kent in the eye and telling her he deserved to die. He felt torn in two directions.</p><p>"You know the truth about yourself, Lex. God only knows if the Kents do. If they don't, they'll figure it out eventually." Lionel straightened up and headed toward the door. He glanced back over his shoulder. "I'll be here when they do. Meanwhile, your position at LuthorCorp is open and available to you at any time." He turned and left the study.</p><p>Lex carried the decanter over to his desk and sank into his chair. The darkness didn't speak, but instead just impressed upon him the inevitability and unavoidability of everything his father had been telling him. His real father. The one whose blood ran through his veins, the one whose genes he'd never escape.</p><p>Lex poured another shot and downed it, then another. Jonathan wouldn't be thrilled if he found out, but Lex needed it tonight.</p><p>He sat in his study, thinking, arguing with his inner darkness, knocking back shots every now and then. At a quarter to eleven, he realized he was going to miss curfew if he didn't head out, but he didn't want to wander into their house drunk, and he couldn't think straight enough to remember if there was anything else he could be doing.</p><p>Maybe it was better this way, if he just didn't go back to the Kents. This could be the wakeup call they needed. And if they really wanted Lex back, they could always come and get him themselves.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Missed Curfew</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"I'm headed back to Metropolis. Call me in the morning, Darius."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"With any report in particular?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes. Let me know if he's still, ah . . . smiling."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, sir."</em>
</p><hr/><p>Martha picked up the phone and called the mansion at half past six, while Clark was setting the table for dinner. Lex was supposed to call by five if he wasn't going to be home for dinner. Most days, he told her in the morning if he wouldn't make it. Maybe something had come up at the last minute, and he had forgotten to call.</p><p>A mansion employee picked up and told her Lex wasn't available to speak, and his cell phone went to voicemail. She sighed and sat down to dinner with Clark and Jonathan.</p><p>"Where's Lex?" Clark asked.</p><p>"I'm not sure," Martha said. "I couldn't get ahold of him."</p><p>Jonathan's brow furrowed. "Do I need to have a talk with him about respect?"</p><p>"I can handle it, honey, I'm sure he just forgot to call."</p><p>But when he hadn't come home by nine, she was starting to worry. She had thought things were going really well with them, but what if she had misread the situation? She wracked her brain, wondering what might have gone wrong over the past few days, or what could have caused him to stay away from the house without calling.</p><p>By eleven, when Clark had already gone to bed, she was worried for a completely different reason. Her mind imagined a million different scenarios, each more horrific than the last. A car collision. Accidents at the plant. Lex in a hospital bed, or a body bag . . . She knew it was unlikely, but her eyes still watered with the worry.</p><p>One minute after his curfew, Jonathan came into the living room. "No Lex yet?"</p><p>Martha wiped aside her tears, shaking her head. "I tried calling him."</p><p>"No one picked up at the mansion?"</p><p>"They said he wasn't available."</p><p>"Did they say whether he was home?"</p><p>"No." She sighed. "I asked, but they kept avoiding the question."</p><p>"I'm sure he'll be home soon."</p><p>"What if something happened to him, Jonathan?"</p><p>"Something's <em>going </em>to happen to him when he gets home."</p><p>"You know what I mean. Lex, he's—" she sniffed— "he's not Clark. If he got into a car accident—"</p><p>"Then you would have already heard about it on the news, sweetie, the media follows that boy around like they've got nothing better to do. He's not hurt. He's <em>late</em>. And unless he has a very good reason for not calling, he's grounded. But I'm sure he's fine."</p><p>She nodded, and melted into her husband's arms. He led her to the couch in the living room, and they sat down to watch the news together. Her heart jumped every time a new story began, but Lex was never mentioned.</p><p>She realized she had been spoiled all of these years. If Clark missed his curfew, she worried about his safety, but every logical voice in her head told her she really didn't have to. He was invulnerable. But now she had a child who wasn't. And she was acutely aware of exactly how much it hurt to lose a child.</p><p>Martha's tears started up again at midnight. "I'm really worried, Jonathan. What if he's been self-harming again?"</p><p>Jonathan put an arm around her shoulders, but he didn't say anything, and they continued to watch the news.</p><p>At nearly one in the morning, Lex still hadn't arrived.</p><p>"I'm going to the mansion." Jonathan picked up his jacket and started looking for his keys and wallet.</p><p>"You don't even know if he's there," Martha said.</p><p>"That's true. If he's not, I'll start searching the town."</p><p>"What if he is there, and he just . . . decided to spend the night at the mansion instead? What if he's upset with us?"</p><p>"Well, that's fine, but he's been staying with us for almost three weeks. He knows he's supposed to call." He put his wallet in his pocket and fumbled for his car key on the ring.</p><p>"He's an <em>adult</em>."</p><p>"No, honey." He kissed her. "For the next five and a half months, he's asked us to parent him the way we would if he were a teenager, and that's what I'm going to do."</p><p>With that, he headed out the front door. Martha locked the door behind him, sank into the couch, and focused her energy on planning exactly what she was going to say to him if he was alive.</p><hr/><p>Security at the mansion was reluctant to let Jonathan in at one in the morning, but Jonathan was sure they were under orders to let him in, so they did. Jonathan was a bit lost, realizing he didn't actually know where Lex's room was, but he knew his way to the study, so he started there.</p><p>Lex was passed out on the couch. The smell in the room didn't leave him much room for doubt as to what had happened.</p><p>Fury coursed through Jonathan's veins. He wanted to shake the boy awake and yell at him. That was probably what he would have done to Clark, but he also didn't have to worry about accidentally hurting Clark. He had to be more careful with Lex—he had to keep a tight reign on his violent tendencies.</p><p>But as Jonathan thought about Martha's tears and the way she had worried about her son, he was also unwilling to wake the boy kindly. He stormed away to search for a kitchen, and found a bucket, which he filled with ice and water. He brought back it to the study and poured it over the sleeping figure on the couch.</p><p>Lex's scream was not exactly masculine. He shot up off the couch, streams of water pouring down the sides of his face and from the back of his head, his dark button-down shirt clinging to his skin.</p><p>"Morning, sleepy head." Jonathan tossed the bucket aside, and Lex's eyes fixed on him.</p><p>"Dad? Oh, no . . . wha' time 's it?"</p><p>Jonathan looked at his watch. "It is exactly two hours and eighteen minutes after your curfew."</p><p>"No, no." He took a couple of steps toward the door to the study, but tripped over his own feet and stumbled forward, falling to his hands and knees. His body spasmed, and he vomited onto the floor.</p><p>Against his will, Jonathan started to feel sympathy for the kid. There was nothing he could do for him but wait until the sickness passed. Jonathan winced as he listened for the retching to stop, then he held his breath, crouched down beside his son, and took his arm, helping him to his feet.</p><p>He watched Lex's eyes glaze over. Any sobriety he might have gained from the shock when the water hit him was clearly gone now.</p><p>Jonathan guided him to step around the vomit, and lead him to the door. The icy water soaked from Lex's shirt into Jonathan's jacket, and the boy shivered violently.</p><p>"Hang on." Jonathan stopped them walking, untangled himself from Lex's arms, and stepped back, watching to make sure he didn't sway. He took off his own jacket and put it over Lex's shoulders.</p><p>"Thanss." Lex didn't have the coordination to put his arms through the sleeves, which made walking him out of the mansion a lot more difficult.</p><p>Jonathan sighed and stopped to help him dress himself. "You are decades too old for this."</p><p>Lex's arms were limp as Jonathan forced them through the sleeves. "'M I 'n trouble, Dad?"</p><p>"Very much." Jonathan zipped up the jacket and put his arm around Lex again to help him walk.</p><p>"'S it gonna hurt?"</p><p>There was no use talking to Lex while he was this drunk, but there was no use trying to stop him from talking, either. "Probably. I'm not gonna hurt you, but the chores might make you sore, and I can only imagine the headache you're going to have in the morning."</p><p>"You mad at me?"</p><p>"Yeah, I guess I am."</p><p>"'S Mom mad at me?"</p><p>"No. She's worried, though." They'd reached the front door, and Jonathan nodded to the security guard, who opened the door for them. Getting Lex into the car was a bigger challenge. Jonathan ended up having to buckle his seatbelt for him before going around to get in the driver's seat and pulling away.</p><p>"Why'ss Mom worried?"</p><p>"Because you didn't call, and you didn't come home."</p><p>"Oh. Sorry."</p><p>Jonathan refrained from informing him that he wasn't sorry yet. "Why'd you do it?"</p><p>"Li'nel was a' my houss," Lex said. "He hi' me in th' mouth. It <em>hurrt</em>."</p><p>A very different kind of anger boiled over in Jonathan. "I'm sorry, son. We'll talk about it tomorrow."</p><p>Lex was quiet for most of the rest of the drive. As they were pulling into the driveway, he asked, "'M I a good man?"</p><p>Jonathan groaned. "Great. You're a pensive drunk."</p><p>"A pens'v drunk?" He squinted. "But 'm I a good man?"</p><p>"<em>Good</em>, yes. Generally. <em>Man</em>, I'm not so sure about right now."</p><p>Lex blinked a couple of times as Jonathan helped him out of the car. "'M I a wom'n?"</p><p>Jonathan started walking him to the house. "No, you're acting like a kid. How many did you <em>have?</em>"</p><p>"How m'ny what?"</p><p>"Come on, let's get you inside." Jonathan opened the front door, and helped Lex into the entryway.</p><p>Martha came running up to them, throwing her arms around Lex. Then she stepped back and narrowed her eyes at him. "Alexander Luthor, how <em>dare</em> you—"</p><p>"Save it for the morning, sweetheart, he's completely wasted."</p><p>Her eyes widened. "Oh, <em>really?</em>"</p><p>Lex hung his head. "Sorry, Mom."</p><p>"You're soaked."</p><p>"That's my fault," Jonathan said.</p><p>She kept her eyes on Lex. "Get on up to bed, young man."</p><p>Jonathan helped him up the stairs, one at a time, then opened the door of his room. Lex just stared at him.</p><p>"Well, go on in."</p><p>"I hafta throw up ag'n."</p><p>Jonathan sighed and walked him over to the bathroom, where he lifted the toilet seat. Lex knelt down, and Jonathan looked away, wincing as he listened to the awful sounds. "You finished?"</p><p>Lex answered by retching again.</p><p>"This is ridiculous." Jonathan stomped down into the kitchen, filled a glass with water, then climbed back up the stairs.</p><p>Lex was still positioned over the toilet, but he wasn't gagging anymore. He looked up at Jonathan with red eyes.</p><p>"Drink." Jonathan held out the glass.</p><p>Lex rinsed and spat into the toilet.</p><p>"Okay, but this time, swallow."</p><p>He swallowed a couple of tiny sips, then he dropped the glass onto the floor. Thankfully, it didn't break, though the water poured out all over the linoleum.</p><p>Jonathan groaned. "Up." He knelt down and helped the boy to his feet, then walked him back to his room. "In you go."</p><p>Lex stumbled inside, then peered back at Jonathan. He looked lost.</p><p>"I'm not going to undress you. You can sleep in . . . that." Despite everything. Jonathan had to suppress a chuckle. Lex wore dress shoes, black slacks with a belt, a purple button-down shirt, a black tie, and Jonathan's jacket. His clothes were drenched, but Jonathan's jacket was still mostly dry, and it was warm enough in the house that he shouldn't have a problem with hypothermia.</p><p>"'Kay." Lex stepped toward Jonathan. "C'n I havv a hug?"</p><p>This time, Jonathan did laugh, though he reached out to enclose the soaking wet boy into his arms. "You are going to be mortified when you wake up, if you remember any of this."</p><p>Lex didn't respond to that, just finished the hug by patting Jonathan on the back a couple of times. "G'night, Dad. Love you."</p><p>"Good night, Lex. I love you very much."</p><p>Lex stumbled over to the bed and passed out.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>PSA, apparently it's dangerous to dump cold water on a drunk person, but Jonathan didn't google that.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Hangover</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"News to report?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"He's not here, sir. He left at one thirty in the morning."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What? Why?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Jonathan Kent came to pick him up."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"To pick him up? And you let him?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"The Kents have unconditional clearance to enter the mansion, I couldn't disobey the direct order without Lex's knowledge. But it gets worse, sir."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What? What is it?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>" . . . Lex called him Dad."</em>
</p><hr/><p>Lex woke up on top of the covers on the bed in the guest room at the Kent farm. His work clothes and what appeared to be Jonathan's jacket were damp and clinging to his skin. For a moment he didn't know how he had gotten there.</p><p>The splitting headache hit him about three seconds before the memories.</p><p>
  <em>Oh, no. What did I do?</em>
</p><p>His door burst open, and Martha strode into the room. She opened the blinds, and the light felt like fire on his retinas.</p><p>"Up."</p><p>That one word was a hammer to his eardrums. He buried his face in his pillow.</p><p>"<em>Up</em>. Now, Lex."</p><p>"It's Saturday," he said into his pillow.</p><p>"Yep, and Clark and your father have been awake for two hours. Get up. Change into something you can work in. Come down for breakfast. If you're not down in ten minutes, you're going to be in worse trouble than you were already in."</p><p>Lex swore before he could think better of it, but the pillow muffled it enough that she apparently didn't hear. When he sat up, she was already out the door.</p><p>He got to his feet and looked around the room for his things, hoping to find a bottle of aspirin, but he realized he didn't have many of his things.</p><p>He began to peel off the wet clothes and change into dry ones—he kept a few sets of farm work clothes in the guest room. He groaned when he accidentally turned to face the window. He'd had worse hangover headaches in his life, but it was rare.</p><p>Lex trudged down into the living room to find Martha setting down a plate on the table: a pancake with sliced banana and honey, a scrambled egg, two strips of bacon. His stomach turned. It was a little less than the amount he could eat on a normal day, but not much less.</p><p>He took a step back. "I'm not eating."</p><p>"I didn't say you had a choice."</p><p>"I could probably manage some dry toast or something, but—"</p><p>"You can sit down to eat on your own, or I can drag you by the ear."</p><p>Almost definitely an empty threat, but not one he wanted to test, especially while his head felt like this. He hurried to sit down at the table. "What's the point of this? You know I'm just going to lose it after the first few bites."</p><p>"That's fine. Then you'll come back and eat the rest of it." She stood and walked back over to the cupboard to get him a glass of water, then she started working on dishes.</p><p>He tried to remember how he would have responded to being ordered around like this a year ago, or even six months ago. He probably would have stormed out, or gone back to bed. But today, he couldn't imagine disobeying.</p><p>True to his word, he stood to go to the bathroom and throw up after a few bites, but he came back and made a valiant attempt to finish the rest.</p><p>He was about three quarters through when he looked up with pleading eyes. "I can't."</p><p>She glanced over at his plate and nodded. "Okay. Come over to the sink, there's an aspirin waiting for you."</p><p>"<em>Thank you.</em>" He stood with his plate.</p><p>When he had cleared the dishes and taken the aspirin, she gestured out into the living room, and he sighed and went over to sit on the couch and wait for her. Based on the sounds in the other room, she was finishing dishes before coming to talk to him, giving him time to think about what he'd done. He felt all of five years old.</p><p>Flashes of memories from the night before kept running through his mind. Screaming like a girl when the ice water hit him. Vomiting on the floor of the study. Jonathan having to help him dress himself, walk him to the car, and buckle his seatbelt for him. And had he really whined to Jonathan about Lionel slapping him? All of that was bad enough—he desperately hoped he had only imagined that he'd actually <em>asked</em> Jonathan for a hug before going to sleep.</p><p>Martha came into the living room and stood across from him, her arms crossed. "Care to explain yourself?"</p><p>His voice caught in his throat. He should have expected the question, but sometimes he forgot that this was how the Kents operated. "Lionel was at my house last night. He, um . . . he reminded me of some things in my past, and he made me doubt that I could ever . . ."</p><p>Her brow furrowed. "Ever what?"</p><p>"Be a good man." He looked down at his hands. "For the first time in awhile, I could feel the darkness rising in me. And then I just started drinking."</p><p>"Okay. So why didn't you call me?"</p><p>"I'm sorry."</p><p>"I want to hear <em>why</em>."</p><p>He wracked his brain, trying to remember what had possessed him to avoid them entirely. Some part of him wondered if he'd been testing them in some way, seeing if they would really think he was worth coming after. But aside from the fact that that sounded incredibly stupid, he didn't think it would go over well with Martha. So he shook his head. "I don't know."</p><p>"Were you upset with us?"</p><p>"No. You've all been great."</p><p>"Do you have any idea how worried I was about you?"</p><p>He looked up at her. "Worried?"</p><p>"Yes, Lex, <em>worried</em>. Whoever was picking up the phone at the mansion wouldn't tell me whether you were home or not, and you weren't answering your cell phone. You've been home before curfew every night for the past three weeks. What was I supposed to think had happened to you?"</p><p>Somehow, that thought had never even crossed his mind. He supposed he'd never had anyone to worry about him before. He'd started breaking curfew on his summer breaks with Lionel at the age of fifteen. Lionel had punished him with varying degrees of creativity, but he had never once mentioned being <em>worried</em>. "I am so sorry."</p><p>"We were fighting with you for two months, then we thought you were dead for three. Do you have any idea—" Her voice cracked, and her eyes filled with tears.</p><p>He jumped up from the couch and hurried over to wrap both arms around her.</p><p>"You had me up half the night worrying I'd lost you again." She clung onto him, tight enough to hurt, but he didn't dare complain. "Don't <em>do</em> that to me, Lex."</p><p>"I won't."</p><p>She pulled back and took his face in her hand. "You're long forgiven, sweetheart. But we're going to keep our promise to you. There are consequences for your actions."</p><p>"And on that note," Jonathan's voice said.</p><p>Lex stepped back from Martha to find his adoptive father had entered the room. Lex's face burned hot as he remembered the night before.</p><p>Jonathan kept his eyes on Lex. "Could you give us a minute, Martha?"</p><p>Martha nodded and headed outside.</p><p>Jonathan came over to stand across from Lex. Lex kept Jonathan's words in the forefront of his mind: the promise not to hit him, the promise that they'd always love him, the promise that he'd always be part of their family. There was no promise not to lecture him, but while Jonathan's lectures stung more than Lionel's, they left him feeling loved and restored rather than broken and worthless. Lex had nothing to fear, not really.</p><p>That didn't stop his heart from hammering away. His muscles tightened as Jonathan took a step closer. "I didn't mean for you to go to so much trouble for me, Mr. Kent."</p><p>"Are you calling me that because you're dumb enough to think I'm going to disown you, or because you think I might go easier on you if you distance yourself?"</p><p>Lex really hadn't thought about either. It had been subconscious. "I, ah, I guess I wasn't sure if I'd still earned the right to call you . . . you know."</p><p>Jonathan crossed his arms. "What do you think Clark calls me when he's in trouble?"</p><p><em>Oh. </em>"Fair point. Sorry, uh . . . Dad."</p><p>Jonathan's expression softened, just slightly. "Let's talk about last night."</p><p>"I'm grounded," Lex said. He said it with both dread and hope: it was an embarrassingly childish punishment, but he was afraid Jonathan might be planning to do worse to him.</p><p>"You think?"</p><p>He took a deep breath. "How long?"</p><p>"How long do you think is fair?"</p><p>Lex blinked. If Lionel had ever asked him something like that, it would have been some kind of mind game, and Lex would have had to try to guess what Lionel wanted to hear. With Jonathan, Lex was pretty sure he really was asking a question about fairness, not playing a game. That made it all the more impossible. "Give me a hint?"</p><p>Jonathan sighed. "This isn't a test, son, I'm asking for your opinion."</p><p>"I really don't know. I guess it depends how strict the grounding is." The last time he'd been "grounded," they'd been willing to let him go on a date as long as he promised to avoid alcohol and be home by midnight. He figured they wouldn't be as lenient now.</p><p>"That's true."</p><p>Lex stood up a little straighter. "I trust your judgement."</p><p>Jonathan nodded slowly. "Okay. Well, on the one hand, this is your first time being late, and I know you were upset because Lionel came to the mansion, and I'm sure he fed you a pack of lies. On the other hand, you <em>know</em> better than to believe him, and you wouldn't have come home if I hadn't come to get you, and you didn't call to tell your mother you wouldn't be home for dinner, which is disrespectful to the time she spends preparing meals for us."</p><p>"Oh. Sorry." He'd forgotten about that part.</p><p>"You're getting a day for every fifteen minutes you made your mother worry about you."</p><p>Something seemed off about that phrasing. "Wait, but if I'd called, she wouldn't have worried about me."</p><p>"Exactly."</p><p>"So, if I'd called, how long would I have been grounded?"</p><p>"You wouldn't."</p><p>"What, I'm allowed to be late if I call?"</p><p>"Don't <em>plan</em> to be, but yes. Clark is, too. The curfew is for our peace of mind." Jonathan narrowed his eyes. "But you didn't call. We got you home at one-thirty, so you're grounded for ten days. You'll be off next Tuesday."</p><p>Lex winced—he wasn't looking forward to trying to explain to people why he couldn't follow through with his weekend plans. "What are the terms?"</p><p>"You come straight home after work. I'm not going to take away your personal electronics or keep you from watching TV, because you were respectful to your mother and me when you got home, but you're confined to the property for evenings and weekends. Break it, and you'll be confined to the house. Break <em>that,</em> and you get to stay in your room."</p><p>"I get it. I won't break it." He thought about Clark being grounded, and asked, "Extra chores?"</p><p>"No, your work is demanding enough as it is, and you need your rest. But you still need to make restorations. So I'm switching you to the worst chores until next Tuesday."</p><p>"Great," Lex muttered.</p><p>"Do you need a lecture?"</p><p>"No, no," he said quickly. "Mom covered that."</p><p>"Good. As to missing dinner without calling, I'm going to let it pass this time, but if it happens again, you can cook the next day."</p><p>"That would punish you more than me." Lex didn't hate cooking, but he was no Martha Kent.</p><p>"I'm willing to risk that." Jonathan stood up a little straighter. "Let's talk about drinking."</p><p>Lex sighed. "I'm assuming I'm restricted from drinking, too."</p><p>"Yes. For a month."</p><p>"A <em>month?</em>" He hadn't gone a whole month without drinking since his mother was alive. "No, that's too long."</p><p>"Okay, so you do need the lecture."</p><p>"I <em>don't</em>." A hint of a whine crept into his voice.</p><p>"I'll make it short." Jonathan took a step toward Lex, reaching toward him.</p><p>Lex couldn't help but flinch a little, but Jonathan merely placed a gentle hand on his arm.</p><p>"I'm not upset that you missed your curfew. I'm upset that you missed your curfew without calling us, and I'm disappointed that you chose to drink yourself into this state rather than ask us for help. I love you too much to let you harm yourself by drinking until you pass out. You can test me on this all you want, but I'm not going to hit you, kick you out, or stop loving you. You're just going to get a worse grounding."</p><p>It stung, but it was too mercifully quick to even bring tears to his eyes, and Jonathan pulled him into a hug afterwards that melted the pain away, leaving only the frustration with himself and the dread of the week to follow.</p><p>"I'm sorry Lionel hit you," Jonathan said softly, and Lex felt his throat choke up.</p><p>As rough as the week was going to be, Lex had never felt so secure and comforted. The consequences were neither random nor calibrated to cause optimal distress; they were carefully chosen deterrents to match the crime, enact justice, and rebuild family connection.</p><p>Jonathan pulled back from the hug and looked Lex in the eye. "Oh, and if you ever want . . . <em>that—</em>" he was clearly referring to the hug "—you never have to ask."</p><p><em>Oh, no.</em> Lex hadn't imagined that part of last night. His cheeks burned hot.</p><p>Jonathan chuckled and clapped Lex on the back. "Good to have you back, son."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Unconditional</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"I see."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"With all due respect, sir, their relationship seems to be pretty well established."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I didn't ask for your opinion, Darius, and I never will."</em>
</p><hr/><p>What followed was the closest thing to a bad week Lex had ever had at the Kents.</p><p>Having to cancel all of his plans was mildly disappointing, and Jonathan hadn't been kidding when he'd told Lex he was getting the worst chores. Explaining the situation to Clark was embarrassing, too, though it helped that Clark was still grounded for another week, so they'd be getting let off right around the same time.</p><p>But none of those were the worst part. The worst part was the constant knowledge that he was being punished because he had hurt his family. Lex had never, ever felt that way before in his life. On the few occasions when his mother had disciplined him as a child, he'd resented her, too young to see through the pain of the moment and appreciate the care it implied. Now, Lex felt no anger or bitterness, but there was a solemnness to every new nasty chore Jonathan taught him, as he was acutely aware of why he was having to do it.</p><p>The one upside was that Jonathan gave him a hug and told him he loved him every single night before he went to bed, right after Martha did.</p><p>On the fourth evening of being grounded, Lex sat at the dinner table for a couple of minutes after everyone else had already brought their dishes to the sink. He'd been quieter than usual that night. The guilt was getting to him. Not the guilt from having broken their rules and worried them—he figured he was paying for that with the terrible chores. It was a much deeper, more insidious shame. It was the guilt of knowing they were acting on a belief that he could become something that he had already ruled out for himself when he was twelve years old.</p><p>Martha broke him out of his reflections with a soft caress to the side of his head as she passed by. "You doing alright, sweetie?"</p><p>"<em>Look at her. She really likes you.</em>"</p><p>Lex had never heard anything like that from his darker side.</p><p>"<em>You tricked her into that. If she knew about Julian or Duncan . . .</em>"</p><p>He really wasn't sure what the darkness's game was anymore. Maybe it was just bitter about having lost, and trying to make him suffer.</p><p>"<em>I haven't </em>lost<em> anything. You've deceived yourself into thinking you belong here, but how long do you really think that's going to last?</em>"</p><p>Lex straightened up. He was being punished for failing to come to them for help when he needed it, and he wasn't about to make the mistakes he was being grounded for <em>during</em> the grounding. "Mom, can we talk?"</p><p>"Of course. Want to go up to your room?"</p><p><em>Your room</em>. He hadn't really thought about the fact that they weren't calling it the guest room anymore. "If it's okay with you."</p><p>He would tell her about Julian and Duncan. If only to shut the voice up. It was a gamble, but the voice had a point. This whole thing was useless if it was temporary or conditional, so there was no point in hiding the truth from them. Until he came clean, his uncertainty would just keep giving Lionel, and the darkness, more ammunition to use against him.</p><hr/><p>Martha didn't know what to expect as she sat down across from Lex in his room. Clark had once sat down with her in the middle of a grounding to try to talk her into reducing the sentence—she didn't grant the request, but they'd had a great talk, and he seemed to feel better after the discussion.</p><p>She didn't think Lex was going to request that, but she really didn't know. The punishment was clearly unpleasant for him—she didn't think he was overwhelmed, but it was hard to say. At times, the reality struck her that, although she believed she knew the most important things about her older son, she was still missing a lot. She simply hadn't known him for very long. So she prepared herself to be whatever he needed in that moment—stern or soft, tough or sympathetic, providing comfort or advice.</p><p>"I want to talk about what Lionel told me the other night, that made me forget everything you taught me."</p><p><em>Ah. </em>This, she should have seen coming. She kept her tone as gentle as she could: "I'm listening."</p><p>He leaned forward in his seat, looking down at his hands as he touched his fingertips together. "He asked me why I would be interested in your family. I said you were good people, and he asked why you would be interested in me."</p><p>She could feel her blood pressure rise. She was seldom tempted to hit people, like Jonathan and Clark were, but something about Lionel made her want to forget her reservations about violence. Especially since Jonathan told her that Lionel had slapped Lex the other day. "You're a good kid, sweetie. And most days, you're a good man."</p><p>"And I'm starting to understand why you think that. But I need you to know why I'm still not convinced."</p><p>"Okay." She readied herself to make an argument for anything.</p><p>"I've, ah . . . I've killed three people in my life."</p><p>Martha's eyes widened without her consent. This was going to be difficult, if not impossible. She found herself desperately wishing she had Jonathan with her, but this was clearly sensitive for Lex, and he had come to her, not to both of them.</p><p>"You know about the third one. I killed Roger Nixon to save Dad."</p><p>She nodded.</p><p>"The second one was an accident. I had a friend at boarding school. Duncan. We . . . got into an argument. I beat him up pretty badly, and he backed up to get away from me, and a car hit him."</p><p>She couldn't even imagine how traumatic that must have been. She resisted the urge to pull him into her arms right away—it wasn't what he needed right now, even if it was what she wanted. "Who was the first person?"</p><p>"My baby brother. Julian." He squeezed his eyes shut. "I smothered him with a pillow."</p><p>Her voice caught in her throat. Lex had once mentioned that he blamed himself for his brother's death, but she had just thought he was being irrational. "Why?"</p><p>"I don't know. I don't even really remember doing it."</p><p>"Well, how do you know you did it?"</p><p>"Lionel walked in on me standing over Julian with a pillow."</p><p>"He <em>watched</em> you smother him? And he didn't stop you?"</p><p>"Ah . . . I guess he walked in when it was done."</p><p>"So he didn't see you do it, and you don't remember doing it."</p><p>Lex frowned.</p><p>It all rang very false to her. "Do you remember why you killed him?"</p><p>"I told Lionel it was an accident, but he didn't believe me."</p><p>"And what do you think?"</p><p>Lex lowered his head. "I remember hearing my parents talk earlier that day. My mom was talking about how Lionel was going to turn Julian and me against each other, make us fight for his affection and hate each other." His eyes shone. "I believe that now. But back then? I loved my brother."</p><p>She chose her next words very carefully. "Sweetheart, have you ever considered that maybe you didn't kill him? Maybe he died of SIDS, and you just happened to be there."</p><p>"I suggested that to Lionel once, when I was seventeen."</p><p>"And?"</p><p>His face paled, and he tapped a finger to his lips, right where the scar was. "He gave me this."</p><p>Martha's blood boiled, but she forced herself to remain objective and unemotional. That was what her son needed right now. "A pillow isn't exactly a smoking gun."</p><p>"Why else would I have been holding it?"</p><p>"Maybe you were just carrying the pillow. Clark slept with an extra pillow in his arms for a few years after he decided he was too old for stuffed animals. I slept with a stuffed animal on tough nights until I was married. It's not uncommon."</p><p>"I appreciate your effort, but it doesn't make sense. I've never slept with an extra pillow."</p><p>"Still makes more sense than killing a brother you loved for no reason."</p><p>"But when Lionel came into the room, I didn't tell him I <em>found</em> Julian dead. I told him it was an accident."</p><p>"Okay. Maybe you were telling the truth."</p><p>"So I <em>accidentally</em> held a pillow over my baby brother's face until he died? Do you know how long suffocation takes?"</p><p>"I—"</p><p><em>"Minutes</em>. I know you don't want to believe it, but I killed my brother. And apparently, when I repressed the memory, I repressed the reason why, too." He shook his head. "This isn't a one-time thing for me. I've killed. Three times. How many people can say that, then believe they're still good?"</p><p>She sighed, stood from her seat, and came to sit beside him instead, taking his hand in hers. "What do you need from me, sweetheart? Do you need me to help you find a way to pay for the crimes? To be forgiven? To cry?" She couldn't fathom punishing him for something so long past, and she didn't really have the authority to forgive him for crimes against others, but she could try to give him some small measure of peace one way or another.</p><p>"I can't cry over Julian. Lionel wouldn't let me cry at his funeral, and now I can't."</p><p>She squeezed his hand.</p><p>"I can't pay for killing Julian. Lionel's hated me for eleven years, trying to make me suffer enough for my crimes, but I never will. I would have to die, and even that would be too merciful."</p><p>That didn't quite ring true either. Based on Lex's stories, Lionel had been abusive long before Julian had come and gone. "What do you need from me, Lex?"</p><p>He let go of her hand and looked up at her. "If you know I've killed three people and you still think I could be a good man, I need to know why. Because that sounds like idiocy to me."</p><p>She took a deep breath. "Okay. First, let's set aside Roger Nixon. You killed him in defense. That's not wrong."</p><p>He nodded slowly, then quicker. "Okay."</p><p>"Your friend Duncan. Losing your temper, hitting your friend . . . that <em>is</em> wrong. But you know what?" She waited until he looked up at her. "It's a mistake Clark has made. Jonathan, too."</p><p>"I hit him a lot of times," he said in a small voice.</p><p>"And that was wrong, but it doesn't make you a murderer. You're responsible for your actions, but you're not responsible for the car hitting Duncan."</p><p>She could tell he didn't quite believe her, not yet, but he nodded anyway.</p><p>"Look at me, Alexander."</p><p>He glanced up at her.</p><p>"It's <em>not </em>your fault."</p><p>His eyes watered again, and his breathing hitched. "N-no one told me that when it happened."</p><p>It was becoming more difficult than ever not to take him into her arms, but it still wasn't what he needed, not yet. He needed her to finish this. "That leaves Julian. I can see a few possibilities there. Are you willing to hear me out?"</p><p>He nodded, keeping his eyes on hers.</p><p>"Based on everything you've told me, I don't think you wanted to kill him. You don't remember doing it, and you don't remember why. Maybe you walked in and found him already dead, and you felt responsible because you didn't stop it."</p><p>"That doesn't—"</p><p>"Ah, ah. You're hearing me out, remember?"</p><p>He closed his mouth.</p><p>"Maybe you didn't kill him. Maybe you did, but it was an accident. You say it takes minutes for a person to suffocate, but babies are fragile. Lionel didn't show you a lot of tenderness; you probably didn't know how to handle a baby. We know whatever happened in there was so traumatic, you repressed the memory."</p><p>He winced.</p><p>"Now let's say it wasn't an accident." Martha thought for a moment, then looked back up at him. "You were abused by your father. You believed Lionel was going to pit you and Julian against each other. You were afraid, and you didn't want the brother you loved to suffer. Maybe it was a mercy kill."</p><p>"You're too generous with me."</p><p>"Fine. Let's talk about the very, very unlikely worst case scenario. You were jealous of your brother. He was getting the attention you'd never had, and the envy was more powerful than any love you felt for him. So you went in there, and you strangled him. You could try to justify it by saying you were hurting and afraid, or that you were only twelve, but that wouldn't excuse you. You knew what you were doing."</p><p>His eyes were wide, fixed on hers, his breathing stopped.</p><p>"The guilt has been eating you alive ever since. You don't let yourself cry for your brother. You've spent years trying to be a better man."</p><p>"And failing."</p><p>"Sweetie, you've made some mistakes, but you've also done some <em>really</em> amazing things. To think that a child could commit a terrible, unforgivable crime at the age of twelve, but then turn his life around and become a good man in his twenties?" She smiled. "That doesn't sound like idiocy to me. That sounds beautiful."</p><p>He kept his eyes on her, but he was trembling.</p><p>She moved her hand up to the back of his head, stroking with her fingers. "I don't think you killed your brother, Lex. But if you did, I still love you."</p><p>It never ceased to startle her how much of a calming effect the touch had on him. His muscles relaxed, and his head dropped.</p><p>She leaned over to kiss his temple. "We're not going anywhere, sweetie."</p><p>He looked up at her, eyes shining. "Julian would be eleven now."</p><p>"You must miss him."</p><p>"S-so much." His voice cracked, and tears rolled down his cheeks</p><p>Finally, it was time. She took him into her arms, and he wept.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Danger</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Takes place during 3x3, Extinction. Some direct quotes. Own nothing.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"A kid is going to come by the mansion looking for Lex. He's probably going to try to sneak his way in."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Not the Kent boy?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Not the Kent boy. This boy is going to try to kill Lex."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You want me to find him and turn him in?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No, no. I want you to let it slip that Lex is at the Kents."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You want to let this boy kill your son?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Oh, Lex will survive. You can be sure of that."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"So why do you want me to help the kid find him?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Because I know my son. Now do your job and follow orders."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But—"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm hanging up now."</em>
</p><hr/><p>The road to restoration was a long one for Clark. On the one hand, his parents treated him with more love and gentleness and care and forgiveness than he had ever had the right to expect. Also, having Lex at the house just felt right—like their family was complete and whole. Still, the extra work required to get the farm up and running again was overwhelming, and the return to school even more so.</p><p>When the first attempted murder of the school year rolled around, Clark found it almost comforting, like things were returning to normal. Almost.</p><p>It was Lana. Again.</p><p>As soon as Clark was sure Lana was okay, he looked into the murder of the guy who had tried to kill Lana. The investigations led Clark to Van McNulty's cabin.</p><p>A hit list was posted on the wall. Lex was next.</p><p>Clark barely made it back to the farm in time to catch the bullet that was sailing toward Lex's head.</p><p>He managed to get Lex into the house safely, but he made the mistake of going back out to try to find the shooter. He ran into Van out beside the barn, and a few Kryptonite rocks fell out of Van's backpack.</p><p>Clark fell to the ground, writhing in pain.</p><p>"You're one of them," Van said. "I saw you catch that slug. It was in your hand. What are you, some kind of bulletproof freak?"</p><p>Clark could barely process the words, and he couldn't help but stare at the rocks that were causing the agony. Van knelt down and held one of the rocks close to Clark's face. He might as well have been pressing molten lava into his skin.</p><p>"What's wrong? Does this stuff make you sick or something?"</p><p>"<em>Clark!</em>"</p><p>That was his dad's voice. Clark struggled to straighten up, gasping as he tried and failed to call out for help.</p><p>Van tossed down the rock and bolted away. He was out of sight by the time Clark's dad reached them.</p><hr/><p>Lex sat on the couch at the Kent house alone. Someone was targeting him. Again.</p><p>It had been a good run. Lex had been living at the Kent house for two months. He'd heard very little from his darkness in that time—a bit more during the month when he wasn't allowed to drink, but it had been two weeks since that restriction had ended. And other than little slip-ups, usually after an encounter with Lionel, Lex hadn't broken any rules since the night he'd gotten drunk.</p><p>But no matter how safe he felt, he should have known to worry that something like this would happen. Should have taken it into consideration before agreeing to live with the Kents. He knew people were sometimes caught in the crossfire of his fights, but usually, the stakes weren't life and death. Now that he knew they were, he knew he could never live with himself if something happened to the Kents because of him.</p><p>Martha came running into the house a few minutes after Clark had gone back out. Lex stood up to meet her, and she threw her arms around him.</p><p>"I'm okay, Mom."</p><p>She pulled back, but kept her hands on his arms. "What happened?"</p><p>"I don't know, I guess someone was shooting at me. Clark saw the shooter before I did, he saved my life." Long ago, Lex and Clark had been tied for the number of times they'd saved each other. Now, Lex didn't think he'd ever catch up.</p><p>"Well, Clark's okay, I just checked in with him, and Dad's with him now. You're sure you're okay?"</p><p>Lex nodded. "I'm fine. Just a bit shaken up." He breathed in to say he wanted to take some time away from the farm, to make sure they were safe, but it wasn't worth bringing up now. He was already about to head out to work. There was a fair amount of security at the plant; Lex would be fine.</p><p>"Why don't you take the day off today?" Martha squeezed his arm. "You just had a traumatic experience."</p><p>"I'm really fine, Mom. This, ah . . . this happens a lot, you know."</p><p>She reached up to kiss his cheek. "You be careful, young man. I expect you home on time for dinner tonight."</p><p>He smiled. "Yes, ma'am," he said, and went to finish getting ready for work.</p><p>When he came home that evening, Clark was setting the table, Martha was finishing with dinner, Jonathan was just coming in from the afternoon chores, and everyone seemed like they were doing well. Martha gave Lex a slightly longer hug than she usually did, and Clark gave Lex an enormous grin that was worth just as much as any embrace. Lex felt so warm and safe in their house that, for a moment, he set aside the thought of leaving them.</p><p>Until he went down to the laundry room to wash his clothes after dinner and saw the bloody shirt. Clark's shirt.</p><p>"<em>They're lying to you again.</em>"</p><p>Lex swallowed hard, pushing aside the voice with relative ease. Yes, they were lying by omission, but Lex had asked to be kept out of their secrets. Still, it didn't change what he had to do. He couldn't keep endangering them.</p><p>Lex took his laundry basket back up to his room, then began to pack up the things he had stored in there. If he worked quickly, he could be out of the house by tonight.</p><hr/><p>Jonathan kept an eye on both Lex and Clark throughout dinner and dessert. They were both doing better than Jonathan had expected, considering Clark had been shot and Lex had almost suffered the same. But they both disappeared shortly after dinner—Clark to go deal with Van, Lex to his room.</p><p>Jonathan worried about Clark, but he'd learned by now that there was nothing he could do to stop his son from going after people like this, and to try would be a moral failure on his part. Jonathan was losing count of how many lives Clark had saved. It had been awhile since Clark had had the chance to feel like a hero, and with his mistakes from the summer still fresh on his mind, he needed it more than ever. Jonathan would talk with Clark and make sure he was alright in the morning.</p><p>Lex's situation, though, was still a bit more volatile. An hour after dinner wrapped up, Jonathan climbed the stairs and knocked on the door to Lex's room.</p><p>There was no response, so Jonathan opened the door.</p><p>Lex looked up, a deer in the headlights. Half of his clothes were folded on the bed, half tucked into a suitcase in the center of the room.</p><p>Jonathan crossed his arms. "Going somewhere?"</p><p>Lex sighed, stepping over to face Jonathan. "Think rationally, Dad. Someone's after me. You're in danger for as long as I'm living here. I need to move back to the mansion."</p><p>Jonathan raised his eyebrows.</p><p>"Um . . . I guess I should have talked to you before packing."</p><p>"Yep. That's how families work."</p><p>Lex's cheeks turned pink.</p><p>"Where is this coming from, son? You were fine at dinner."</p><p>"I've been thinking about this all day."</p><p>"I might believe you've been considering it, but you sure weren't planning to do it an hour ago. I know you. What changed?"</p><p>"I've just . . . I've had a chance to think about it more."</p><p>"Uh huh." Jonathan took a step closer. He knew Lex was lying to him, and he wasn't going to put up with it. "Try again. The truth, this time."</p><p>Lex swallowed. "I saw Clark's shirt in the laundry room. I know he got hurt today."</p><p>Jonathan's eyes fell closed. They'd been sloppy about the shirt twice now—Sheriff Adams had seen it, too. "That had nothing to do with you."</p><p>"Is he hurt? Is he okay? What happened?"</p><p>Jonathan wished again that Lex had allowed them to tell him Clark's secret. This would be difficult to explain without that knowledge. "Clark is okay," he said. "I'm not going to lie to you, but I can't tell you any more unless you want to know our secrets. I, uh, told the Sheriff it was a barbed wire accident."</p><p>"Someone hurt Clark."</p><p>"Like I said, he's okay now."</p><p>"Was it the same guy who tried to shoot me?"</p><p>Jonathan cursed his promise to be honest with Lex. "Yes, but—"</p><p>"Then I still think it would be best if I moved out. If something happened to any of you because of me, I could never live with myself."</p><p>Again, Jonathan couldn't explain why they'd all be safer under Clark's protection than anywhere else, not without telling Lex Clark's secret. He was almost tempted to let Lex move out, if it made him feel safer, but although Lex had come a long way, Jonathan didn't feel like he was quite ready yet. Lex's encounters with Lionel always still left him on edge. And besides, Jonathan trusted Clark a lot more than he trusted the security at the Luthor mansion. If someone really was after Lex, Jonathan wanted him to be at the farm, where he'd be safest. "You're not moving out."</p><p>Lex's eyes narrowed. "That's not your decision to make."</p><p>"Yes, it is. Our deal was for six months."</p><p>"Screw the deal!" Lex's voice began to rise. "This is about Clark's safety. Think about him."</p><p>Jonathan tried to keep himself from shouting, but his voice was rising as well. "I am thinking about him. I'm thinking about you, too, and I'm asking you to trust me."</p><p>"I'm not going to let anything happen to you."</p><p>Jonathan shook his head. "Leaving won't keep us safer, son, it'll just put you in danger of losing the progress you've made."</p><p>Lex scoffed. "You can't stop me from leaving."</p><p>"No, but I'd like for you to trust my judgement on this."</p><p>"Trust is a choice." Lex's jaw stiffened. "You can't force it."</p><p>"That's true between adults. But I wouldn't give Clark the choice, and for four more months, I'm treating you the way I would treat him."</p><p>"But—"</p><p>"That means I can and will punish you if you run away."</p><p>Lex smirked. "You can't. I'll be at the mansion."</p><p>"You'll be punished when you come back."</p><p>"And what if I <em>never come back?</em>"</p><p>The threat hung in the air.</p><p>Jonathan could have smelled the bluff from a mile away. He wanted to roll his eyes, but instead he just stared at Lex, the hardest stare he could muster, the look that always worked on Clark.</p><p>
  <em>And in three, two, one—</em>
</p><p>"Okay, fine." Lex lowered his head. "You're my family, I can't stay away from you."</p><p>Jonathan nodded. "I'm glad you—"</p><p>"You can do whatever you want to me when I come back. But I'm staying at the mansion until I'm satisfied that the guy who tried to shoot me isn't a threat to you anymore. I could never live with myself if something happened to Clark. You can't give me a punishment worse than that. Not even if you beat me, or kicked me out of your family."</p><p>Jonathan's breath caught in his throat. <em>That</em> was new. He'd never heard anything like that from Clark.</p><p>He was torn. On the one hand, he didn't want to give in now. That would just teach Lex that he could argue his way out of Jonathan's orders. At the same time, it had taken until now for Jonathan to realize how important this was to Lex. He should have listened more before barking orders and making threats, but now he had backed himself into a corner.</p><p>Jonathan took a deep breath. He could still remedy the situation at least somewhat. "You will come home for dinner every night before leaving for the mansion. You will not drink. If you speak with Lionel, <em>at all</em>, you will call us after the conversation is over."</p><p>Lex's jaw pulsed. "Is that all?"</p><p>"Watch your tone, young man. And no, it's not. If you trust your security with your life, I expect you to trust it with Clark's. Prepare a guest room for him, he's going to stay with you." That would put Jonathan's mind at rest about Lex's safety.</p><p>"Okay. I'll agree to your terms, on one condition."</p><p>Jonathan shifted his weight.</p><p>"I'm as worried about you and Mom as I am about Clark. I know you need to be at the farm to take care of it, but I want to post a security guard outside of your house."</p><p>A year ago, Jonathan never would have agreed to that. But now, if it made his terrified son feel more comfortable . . . "Of course."</p><p>Lex stepped forward and put his arms around Jonathan. Jonathan smiled—it was the first time Lex had initiated a hug while sober. "Thanks, Dad," Lex said.</p><p>Jonathan clapped his son's shoulder after letting go. "Finish packing what you need for tomorrow, leave the rest. It's getting late."</p><p>"Yes, sir," Lex said, and Jonathan left the room.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Anonymous Tip</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"He's at the mansion."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"As expected."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"He just brought an overnight bag."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That's unfortunate, but not surprising. I'm going to have to move into the next phase. I'll be sending you new instructions shortly."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, sir."</em>
</p><hr/><p>Fortunately for Martha's nerves, Van McNulty was taken into custody the same night Lex moved out of the Kent house, so he moved back in with them the next day. She'd overheard Lex yelling at Jonathan the night before, so she gave him a light whack on the shoulder and chided him for having been disrespectful, but she followed it up with an extra long hug, a kiss on the cheek, and his and Clark's favorite foods for dinner.</p><p>She hoped for some relaxing time with her family, now that the farm was up and running. Everyone was home and safe, and neither of her kids were in trouble.</p><p>But "relaxing" wasn't in the cards for them.</p><p>The next week, Clark fell into a thirty-six hour coma, and ended up finding out that the girl next door was controlling his dreams. Convincing Lex that this wasn't part of their secrets, and that they were as confused and worried as him, wasn't exactly a picnic either. In the end, Clark ended up finding out that the neighbor girl's uncle was keeping her in a coma, and Lex pulled some strings to get the uncle arrested and find extra help for the girl.</p><p>The week after, a reporter named Perry White caught Clark using his powers. He was so drunk at the time he saw it happen that it should have been easy to convince him he'd made a mistake, but he was persistent; luckily, at Jonathan's discreet request, Lex kept the reporter away from the farm, and eventually ran him out of town.</p><p>The week after that, Clark ended up getting tangled up in some murder mystery involving the mayor and Lana's great aunt, though it was over before Martha heard too much about it.</p><p>The week after <em>that,</em> Lana got caught up with someone who had been infected by the meteor rocks, and she was arrested for awhile. Martha didn't get all of the details about that one, either but she could tell Lex came out of it a little better off than Clark—based on what little she heard, Lex's friendship with Lana was preserved and strengthened, while Clark's was strained.</p><p>The day after the debacle with Lana ended, Martha went up to the loft to check in on Clark before dinner. He was sitting on the couch and staring out of the window.</p><p>"Hey." She ran her fingers through his hair, and he looked up at her. "You want to talk about it?"</p><p>He looked out of the window again. "I wish I could tell her the truth."</p><p>She sat beside him on the couch.</p><p>He rubbed his eyes. "It was so hard to see her with someone else. She asked me if I wanted to be that person, and . . . I do. I want that so bad. I know if I asked, she'd say yes."</p><p>She put a gentle hand on his back.</p><p>"But it's like you said when I got back from Metropolis. I can't keep leading her on and lying to her. I have to . . . let her . . . but it's so hard to watch her with other guys. She defended <em>Seth</em>, because at least he was honest with her, and . . ." His head dropped. "I know I can't tell her, but . . . will I ever be able to tell anyone? Or will I always be alone?"</p><p>Martha's heart broke for her son's pain. She wanted to say that he would tell whoever he ended up marrying, someday, and that whoever that was, he'd be able to trust her more than anyone else. She wanted to remind him that was sixteen, and that any real thoughts of marriage were a long way off for him, and that that was okay, but no sixteen year old wanted to be told how young sixteen was. So she didn't say any of that. She just opened her arms.</p><p>Clark melted into them, and Martha stroked his hair for awhile. As much as his pain and loneliness hurt her, she was thankful for this moment. That her son's life had settled down enough, however momentarily, that he had time to catch his breath and process his feelings. Not feelings of overwhelming guilt for terrible crimes or tragedies, but hurt over a girl. Even if the reasons he couldn't have her were far beyond the scope of the ordinary, the bottom line was refreshingly normal.</p><p>When his arms loosened around her, she pulled back and wiped away the single tear that had come to rest on his cheek. "Come down to dinner?" she said.</p><p>He nodded. "In a minute."</p><p>She smiled and headed down the stairs.</p><hr/><p>Martha kept a close eye on her family throughout dinner. Jonathan was worn out from the work day, but no more than usual; Clark seemed to be doing a bit better after their talk, but still down; Lex was quiet, clearly with something weighing on his mind. Her own exhaustion would have to wait.</p><p>After dinner, Lex asked Martha if he could help her bake something for the Talon. Even when he wasn't quiet and pensive, Martha could always tell the difference between when Lex came to help her bake for fun, as compared to when he really needed to speak to her about something. When he just wanted to spend time with her in the kitchen, he completed any task she gave him quickly and asked for the next step. When he really needed to talk, he'd absentmindedly roll dough or mix ingredients for minutes on end, or for as long as it took her to notice what he was doing and stop him.</p><p>She asked him to grease a cookie sheet while she assembled ingredients, and found him still lightly running the stick of butter over the surface nearly two minutes later. She gently took the stick of butter from him and set it on a cutting board, and he looked up with an embarrassed half-smile.</p><p>"What's on your mind, sweetie?" she asked.</p><p>"A lot, I guess."</p><p>She rubbed his back. "It's been a rough few weeks."</p><p>"Thinking about everything that's happened to you since I've been here, I can't help but think I've somehow cursed you by living with you."</p><p>She took a deep breath, thinking over the past couple of years. "Actually, this is pretty normal for us."</p><p>He turned to face her, eyes wide. "<em>Really?</em>"</p><p>She grimaced. "Honey . . . how sure are you that you don't want to know what's going on?"</p><p>He sighed heavily. "I want Clark to be safe, and I don't trust myself yet. That's—that's not self-deprecation, that's just me saying . . . I don't trust I could win that fight with Lionel, if it came down to it."</p><p>"I understand, but if you're living with us, I'm not sure we're going to be able to keep everything from you. We've already hurt you by lying to you in the past. I don't want to do that anymore."</p><p>Lex looked down at his hands, then back up at her. "Then don't tell me everything. Just tell me . . . something. One secret."</p><p>She blinked. "Oh! Um, okay." She wished she had her whole family with her for this, but it couldn't hurt to find out what he was looking for first. "Uh, what would you like to know?"</p><p>"Anything. Just . . . maybe something to explain what's been happening the last few weeks?"</p><p>Martha nodded slowly. That was actually easier—she didn't feel the need for the whole family to be in on that, since it didn't really have to do with Clark, at least not in a way Lex would be able to discern. "Okay. The, uh, theory you keep hearing, about meteor rocks infecting people, a-and giving them strange abilities, and sometimes causing them to, uh, commit crimes? Usually murder?"</p><p>"It's true?"</p><p>"Yes. Sometimes the effects are temporary, sometimes they're permanent."</p><p>"I guess I knew that." He half-smiled. "But it helps to hear you say it. Sometimes I feel like maybe I'm just going crazy."</p><p>"Look at me, Lex."</p><p>His eyes met hers.</p><p>"You're <em>not</em> going crazy."</p><p>He let his breath out. "So, um, Seth was infected?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Lana?"</p><p>"Influenced by Seth. I believe the effects were temporary."</p><p>"How about Desiree?"</p><p>"Yes. Absolutely."</p><p>" . . . Helen?"</p><p>Martha fought the urge to wrap him in her arms. "No, sweetie. Not as far as I know."</p><p>"Hm." Lex looked down at the floor. "Clark?"</p><p>Martha swallowed. "No."</p><p>He looked up at her suddenly, eyebrows raised. "No? Really?"</p><p>This conversation was going a bad direction, if Lex didn't want to know Clark's secrets. "No. I promise. But . . . be careful what you ask me about this, Lex, because I'm not going to lie to you."</p><p>"Okay." He was quiet for a moment, and when his voice returned, it was little more than a whisper. "What about me?"</p><p>"Um . . ." She knew Van McNulty had thought so, but she hadn't seen any evidence. "To tell you the truth, sweetie, I don't know. But I don't think so. At least, I don't think there were any effects other than losing your hair."</p><p>"Hm." He began to pace. "I guess I was just wondering if there might be some sort of curse on me."</p><p>She couldn't bring herself to quite dismiss that one, considering everything he'd been through in his life, but she still needed to try to set his mind at ease. "Well, if you're worried about infecting us with your curse, don't. Believe me when I say that our lives haven't gotten much more complicated since you've been here." She put a hand on the side of his head. "We're a lot happier with you here, though."</p><p>His eyes fell closed for a moment, and he opened them when she lowered her hand. "Mom . . . the reason I'm asking these things, the reason I'm worried? It's because I got an anonymous tip about Lionel."</p><p>"Oh?"</p><p>"Yeah." He rested a hand on the counter. "Something that could get him put away for good."</p><p>"Do you want that?"</p><p>There was a flash of pain in his eyes. It lasted a tiny fraction of a second—she almost wondered if she had imagined it—but the strain in his voice betrayed the truth. "I don't want him to be able to hurt anyone ever again."</p><p>She placed her hand on his. "You're a good man. You know that, right?"</p><p>"I—this isn't about that. If I pursue this, if I go up against him . . . he's not going to go down without a fight."</p><p>"Can we fight with you?"</p><p>"Please don't. You know what happens to people who get caught in the crossfire."</p><p>She did. But she also knew what Lex was risking himself. Finally, they had reached the point in the conversation where she couldn't make the decision on her own. "This is something we should talk about as a family."</p><p>Traces of a smile played with the corners of his lips. "Yes, ma'am."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Family Talk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"He still visits the mansion in the evenings, yes?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"In the afternoons, yes."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Good. I'm going to have something sent to you. It's a white powder, and you'll want to wear gloves and a mask when you handle it. I need you to put it into Lex's scotch."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Sir?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It's tasteless and odorless. He won't suspect anything."</em>
</p><hr/><p>They sat around the empty coffee table. Martha sat beside Lex, and Clark across from him, on the floor. Jonathan sat in the rocking chair.</p><p>Calling the family together like this went against everything Lex had ever known and been taught. His first instinct upon receiving the tip from Perry White had been to embark on an investigation alone. Actually, his first inclination was to accept the position Lionel had offered him at LuthorCorp in order to keep a closer eye on him, but he couldn't just run off to Metropolis. He had a family to think about.</p><p>"I found out something about Lionel," Lex said.</p><p>"What'd you find out, son?" Jonathan asked.</p><p>"I'd rather not say. The less you know, the less danger you'll be in. He already knows I consider you family."</p><p>Clark frowned. "Is that bad?"</p><p>"<em>Very</em> bad." Lex winced, not sure how much to say. "Clark, you of all people know . . . I spend a <em>lot</em> of time fighting my father. Protecting LexCorp and my employees from him is a full time job, on top of the one I already have."</p><p>"Why does he care if you hang out with us, though? We're not gonna interfere with your work."</p><p>"He doesn't like for me to involve myself in anything that might . . . weaken me." Lex realized how ironic that was. In many ways, he felt stronger now than he ever had. "Suffice it to say, the more he knows about you, the greater ability he has to threaten you, if it might give him an advantage over me. And the more <em>you</em> know about <em>him</em>, the more <em>reason</em> he has to threaten you."</p><p>Clark's brow furrowed, but he didn't say anything.</p><p>"I'll tell you this. If I can confirm what I've heard, I can get him locked away for life, and he'll never be able to hurt anyone again."</p><p>"Great!" Clark said.</p><p>"I'm sensing a <em>but</em>," Jonathan said.</p><p>"Lionel is going to do everything in his power to keep me from taking him down. It would be better if I could keep a closer eye on him."</p><p>"What did you have in mind, sweetie?" Martha asked.</p><p>Lex swallowed hard. "My best bet would be to take the job he's offered me."</p><p>Jonathan scoffed. "Not a <em>chance</em>."</p><p>"I figured as much. The next best would be to get another surveillance team in there . . . but I remember what happened the last time." He also remembered the lecture he'd received afterwards. The worst he'd had from Jonathan, to date. "I'm hard pressed to come up with other ideas."</p><p>Clark cleared his throat. "Uh . . . can I help you?"</p><p>"I would never ask you to get involved in this, Clark."</p><p>"But I could plant the bugs."</p><p>Lex blinked. "You're sixteen."</p><p>"So?"</p><p>"So how are you going to break into LuthorCorp and plant bugs when a team of professionals couldn't do it without getting caught?"</p><p>"You trust me, right? You know I wouldn't lie to you."</p><p>"Uh . . . yes, but—"</p><p>"I can do it. I won't get caught."</p><p>Lex breathed in to tell Clark he wasn't going to take that chance, no matter how confident Clark felt, but Jonathan beat him to it: "You'll do <em>no</em> such thing."</p><p>"Dad, you know I can."</p><p>"I don't care. You're not getting involved in this investigation."</p><p>"You didn't tell Lex he couldn't!"</p><p>"Lex is older than you. He has a lot more experience."</p><p>"With <em>what?</em> I investigate meteor rock mutants all the time!"</p><p>Jonathan's eyes narrowed. "I haven't decided yet whether I'm allowing Lex to investigate this. I didn't stop you from looking into your biological father, either."</p><p>Lex held his breath—he wasn't sure if he should be in the room for this part of the conversation—but Jonathan didn't say any more. Clark looked from Jonathan to Lex. "How many times has your dad hit you?"</p><p>"Uh . . ." Lex's face felt hot. "I haven't really counted." <em>I've lost count</em>.</p><p>"In the last year?"</p><p><em>Four</em>. "I'm not sure."</p><p>"Well, how old were you when he first hit you?"</p><p><em>Five</em>. "It's . . . hard to remember."</p><p>"Okay, but—"</p><p>"I don't want to talk about it, Clark."</p><p>Clark turned back to his dad. "Mr. Luthor should be in prison. You <em>know </em>he should."</p><p>Lex's cheeks burned even warmer. "I'm not going to go after him for child abuse or assault."</p><p>"I don't care what you go after him for. He <em>deserves</em> to be locked up. So he can't hurt you again."</p><p>Jonathan sighed. "Clark—"</p><p>"He hurt my brother. Let me do this." Clark's eyes shone, and he looked over at Lex. "Let me help you."</p><p>Lex was overcome by a sudden urge to hug his little brother. Instead, he looked over at his adoptive father. "Dad . . . this is dangerous. Please don't let Clark get involved."</p><p>Jonathan looked past Lex to Martha, who in turn took Lex's hand. "Lex, you want to fight Lionel, and you don't want the rest of us to get involved. Is that right?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>Clark's breath caught. "Then what was the point of telling us?"</p><p>Jonathan gave Clark a hard stare. "Lex did the right thing, by being open and honest." He looked at Lex. "We're proud of you."</p><p>Lex might have smiled if Clark's face hadn't turned red.</p><p>Martha squeezed his hand. "You're not looking for help. You're looking for our support."</p><p>"Do I have it?"</p><p>"Son, we wouldn't support you in endangering yourself for any less worthy a cause," Jonathan said. "But this one . . . I'm not sure you can win this one."</p><p>Lex didn't say anything. He didn't know, either. He knew he could very well die trying; he absolutely wouldn't be the first to do so. Lex still felt it was worth the effort, but he didn't necessarily expect his adoptive parents to feel the same way; they loved him too much.</p><p>"So." Martha looked him in the eyes. "We're going to give you a choice."</p><p>" . . . Okay."</p><p>"Forget what you've learned and leave this alone. Stay away from Lionel, as much as you can. Don't fight him unless he threatens you or attacks LexCorp directly."</p><p>"What's the other option?"</p><p>"Fight this," Martha said, "but let your brother help you."</p><p>Lex gasped, and he glanced at Clark, whose eyes were wide. "How can you expect me to put him in danger?"</p><p>"Do you trust me?"</p><p>"I trust you, Mom, but—"</p><p>"Then trust me now."</p><p>Lex's jaw pulsed. "You know our deal is only for six months, right?"</p><p>Jonathan's eyes pierced his. "When that time is over, we'll decide as a family whether you're ready for us to parent you like you're an adult rather than a teenager. Like it or not, we're your parents for life."</p><p>Lex had never felt such a powerful combination of frustration and comfort.</p><p>"Let this go, or let Clark help you," Martha said. "Those are your options."</p><p>"And Clark," Jonathan said, "I expect you to respect your brother's decision about this."</p><p>"Yes, sir," Clark said, but his eyes were on Lex.</p><p>Lex shook his head in disbelief. He hated everything about this. He hated that they were forcing him to see the double standard in his thinking: he believed his life, and not Clark's, was worth risking to stop Lionel, but from their parents' perspective, they'd lose a son either way. But Lex also hated that they were making this point by insisting that they <em>both</em> endanger themselves, if either did.</p><p>Taking down Lionel was worth two lives, if it came to that, and Lex knew it; Lionel would kill many more innocent people in his life if he wasn't stopped. But Clark . . . Lex would have done <em>anything</em> to protect Clark.</p><p>
  <em>"Oh, for God's sake. You're NOT actually thinking of backing down!?"</em>
</p><p>Lex didn't want to listen to his inner darkness, but it always seemed to have a point, when it came to Lionel.</p><p>"Fine. Clark, let's talk tomorrow. At the mansion, if it's okay with you, Mom and Dad. I'd rather not work on this here."</p><p>"That's okay," Jonathan said. "But call if you won't be home for dinner."</p><p>"We will," Lex said, and looked over at his little brother.</p><p>Clark just kept grinning.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Investigations Begin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"Sir, what does this have to do with the Kents?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>" . . . Let me make something very clear to you, Darius. You do not ask questions. I give you orders, and you carry them out. End of story."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>" . . . Understood, sir."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But you might as well know that this particular plan has nothing to do with the Kents. Unless, of course, they decide to become involved."</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>Clark met Lex in the mansion the next day. Lex had a few tiny recording devices sitting out on his desk, to be planted over at LuthorCorp.</p><p>"Can I give you a ride over?" Lex asked. "We could take the helicopter."</p><p>Clark shook his head. The helicopter was noisy and might be seen as suspicious, and it was slower than running. Besides, he was pretty sure he knew Lex's real reason for offering. He'd either try to talk Clark out of his plans on the way, or insist on helping. "It's okay. I have my own transportation."</p><p>Lex raised an eyebrow, but Clark didn't say any more. He was aware it sounded suspicious, but that didn't matter to him. He was willing to tell Lex his secret; he really <em>wanted</em> to. Lex was the one who had told him to hold back.</p><p>Clark didn't completely understand all of why Lex didn't feel safe knowing the truth, but he could respect it. Mostly. He still dropped ambiguous pieces of information here and there, to make Lex curious, in the hopes that he'd finally give in and ask someday. It actually helped Clark to know what <em>not</em> to say around his friends that he wasn't willing to share his secrets with, because he was more aware of what kinds of hints might make someone feel curious.</p><p>Lex shifted his weight, his eyes on the recording devices. "Clark . . ."</p><p>"It's okay, Lex, I really don't mind doing this."</p><p>"This is dangerous."</p><p>"You face your father all the time, what's the difference?"</p><p>"He won't kill me. He wouldn't hesitate to kill you."</p><p>"I'm not easy to kill." Clark didn't think that was giving away his secret. Lex had to know that much by now.</p><p>"Lionel's not easy to evade."</p><p>"Exactly. I can't let you fight him alone. What kind of brother would I be if I knew I could help you and didn't do anything?"</p><p>"You've never had a brother." Lex's eyes pierced Clark.</p><p>Clark didn't know much about the brothers Lex had had. He didn't know where Lucas was now, and he didn't know all of the details of what had happened with Julian. But he knew Lex had loved Julian and been traumatized when he died. Maybe Lex saw Clark as Julian. "Lex . . . I'm not eleven years old."</p><p>Lex's eyes flashed. "I know."</p><p>"When my mom and your dad were being held hostage at LuthorCorp, I saved them."</p><p>"I know."</p><p>"Nothing bad is going to happen to me."</p><p>"Either way, it's not your job to help me with this, Clark."</p><p>Clark frowned. "You and my dad didn't get along when we were first friends."</p><p>"So?"</p><p>"So what would you have done if you found out my dad was hitting me?"</p><p>Clark watched everything shift in Lex's eyes, but then his expression hardened again. "I'm older than you."</p><p>"And I'm stronger than you." Clark winced. If only he could explain . . . "I think you'd have some peace of mind if I told you everything."</p><p>"No. It's not safe."</p><p>"I trust you with my life."</p><p>"And you <em>shouldn't</em>."</p><p>"Is that what you think? You think I'm stupid for trusting you? Or do you think you haven't earned my trust?" He knew his mom might make Lex write an essay for saying something like that, but decided against threatening to tell her. He really wanted the truth about what Lex thought.</p><p>"I think I'm a <em>Luthor</em>." He said the word as if it were a swear word. "I think the darkness living inside of me wants this fight against Lionel even more than I do, and I don't know what's going to become of me along the way. And I want you as far from the crossfire as possible. I can't fight my own DNA."</p><p>Clark thought of Jor-El and raised his voice: "Lex, if you knew about my DNA, you'd run away screaming."</p><p>Lex's eyebrows narrowed. "No, I wouldn't."</p><p>Clark took a deep breath. "You're right, you probably wouldn't. Because you know, no matter what my DNA says, I'm also the son of Jonathan and Martha Kent, and I'm your brother. I've <em>never</em> hated you for being a Luthor. I know Dad did, but nowhere near as much as you hate yourself for it."</p><p>"It's worth hating."</p><p>"<em>Why? </em>You were my best friend even before you were a part of our family."</p><p>Lex sighed. "Clark . . ."</p><p>"You're <em>still</em> my best friend. And this—" Clark nodded toward the recording devices— "this is what friends do. They help each other, even when it's dangerous."</p><p>"Clark, I love you way too much to—" Lex's voice stopped short.</p><p>Clark's breath caught. He and Lex had never actually exchanged those words, though their parents said them all the time. Clark stepped forward and pulled Lex into a hug, trying to be mindful of his strength by matching the firmness of Lex's arms around him. "I love you, too," Clark said after he let go, and he picked up the recording devices. "You're not just a Luthor anymore, you know. You're a Kent, too."</p><p>Lex swallowed, but he didn't say anything.</p><p>"I trust you. Do you trust me?"</p><p>"With my life. Not with your own."</p><p>Clark half smiled. "I'll just have to prove it to you, then," he said, and left the study before Lex could say any more.</p><p>A half an hour later, the bugs were planted, and Clark was back at home. Nothing to it.</p>
<hr/><p>Clark had only been gone for a few minutes when Chloe Sullivan arrived at the mansion. Lex had given her temporary clearance ever since he found out she was trying to investigate Lionel, but today she walked into the study shouting accusations.</p><p>"You're a Luthor, so it's a given that you're unscrupulous, but I really thought that petty larceny was beneath you, Lex."</p><p>Lex had no idea what she was talking about. "Can you be a little more specific with the charge?" He started down the stairs.</p><p>She fumed. "I caught some creep in my office trying steal one of my computers. I figured either you or your father hired him."</p><p>"But you're accusing me."</p><p>"You're what they euphemistically call the lesser of two evils."</p><p>If he was the <em>lesser </em>of two evils, why was she accusing him? Lex didn't try to call her out on her logic. He generally liked Chloe, and since she was Clark's friend, she fell under Lex's protection. She was smart. But he felt she was just a bit less intelligent than she needed to be to be fighting the battles she tried to fight. "I admire your take-charge attitude. Barging in here and accusing me took guts . . . or sheer stupidity. What do you say we pay a visit to your, ah, intruder?"</p><p>He took her down to the morgue. She followed hesitantly behind, silent. When they arrived, he immediately walked over and uncovered the reason why he hadn't wanted Clark to get involved in this fight.</p><p>"How did he die?" she asked quietly.</p><p>"Natural causes. Apparently his heart just gave out."</p><p>"And you believe that?"</p><p>"Given what he was looking into, I doubt there was anything natural about his death."</p><p>"How do I know you're not just playing me here?"</p><p>Lex couldn't imagine what kind of game she was picturing. "You're right, Chloe. I could be. I often bring high school girls to the morgue to show them what happens when trained professionals cross my father."</p><p>"Well, there's nothing in my files worth killing for."</p><p>"We've got a corpse here that says you're wrong." Lex looked her in the eyes. "Chloe, you're involved in a very dangerous game. Get yourself out of it while you still can."</p><p>"I can't just forget what I've seen."</p><p>"Yes you can. I'll protect you."</p><p>"Like you protected him?"</p><p>"He never asked for my protection." He took a step toward her. "What do you know?"</p><p>"Why should I tell you?"</p><p>"Because I <em>am</em> fighting this."</p><p>Chloe's eyes traveled from Lex, to the man on the table, then back up to Lex again. "Have you heard of a man named Morgan Edge?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Attack</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Direct quotes from 3x8, "Shattered."</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"The powder made it into the scotch?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, sir, but . . . he doesn't drink much these days."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>" . . . I see."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>" . . . Sir?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Does he still eat at the mansion?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"At lunchtime, most days."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Then you know what to do."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, sir."</em>
</p><hr/><p>"I blow up the building. Lionel gets rid of his . . . bastard father and his gin-soaked mother. The slumlord splits the insurance payment with us. Lionel uses his cut for his first start-up, and the rest is history."</p><p>Lex pinched the bridge of his nose. Hearing Morgan Edge's testimony aloud was as surreal the fifteenth time as it had been the first. It had been a long time since Lex had been under any illusion that Lionel was any less than pure evil, and he knew about some of the kills, but it was still difficult to hear the reason why he'd never met his grandparents.</p><p>Not that he wanted to. They sounded like terrible people.</p><p>The door to the study opened, and Lex unplugged the camera as Darius stepped into the room.</p><p>"Sorry for the interruption, sir, but . . . your father called again. I—I did what you asked, I told him you weren't here."</p><p>Lex trusted Darius, but something had been off about the head of security for awhile now. A couple of months ago, Darius had mentioned he was stressed because of his new baby at home, and Lex had offered him some extra paid time off, but Daris didn't take it. Now, he seemed on edge most of the time, and Lex was starting to wonder if the dangers of working at the mansion were starting to sink in for him. "You look worried, Darius," Lex said. "Relax." He gave him a little smile, but it felt more like a wince. For some reason, his neck was hurting badly. It had started up the day before, and it had only gotten worse since then.</p><p>Darius gave him a smile that lasted less than a second before leaving the room.</p><p>Lex picked up the camera and transcripts. He couldn't help checking over his shoulder a couple of times on the way from his desk to his safe. This evidence was everything. He knew his adoptive parents wouldn't be happy if they knew he had sought out Morgan Edge, but it would put a quick end to this crusade, which mean Clark wouldn't keep trying to put himself in danger. Lex still didn't know how Clark had planted the bugs so quickly, but it hadn't ended up doing any good—they'd been cleared away within twenty-four hours. Whatever Clark's secrets were, they might have helped him break into LuthorCorp without being caught, but they didn't involve proficiency in hiding bugs so they wouldn't be found.</p><p>Lex was just finishing sealing up the safe when a red laser dot appeared on the wall.</p><p>"DARIUS!"</p><p>Silenced gunshots rang out, and Lex dropped to the floor and crawled for his desk. The door flew open, and Darius ran inside, but another shot sounded, and he fell.</p><p>Lex was on his own. He had to get out.</p><p>He dove for the minibar. More shot sounded. Glass shattered, and he ducked, shards scraping his face.</p><p>He just made it out of the room.</p><p>Another shooter came around the corner. Lex ran back the way he'd come. He grabbed a figurine and threw it at the other shooter who came for him, then dove for the window.</p><p>Sharp sting broke out all over his head and face where the glass sliced through him, and his legs exploded with pain as he hit the ground, but adrenaline kept him running. He shouted in pain and exertion as he ran, but he didn't stop.</p><p>By the time he slowed to a walk, his lungs were on fire, his legs were viciously cramping, and his neck was worse than ever. He touched the scrapes on the side of his head. The blood was mostly dried, but not completely. He looked down to see that he had somehow managed to smear blood all over his shirt as well.</p><p>He realized he was heading in the direction of the Kent farm, but he couldn't go back to the Kents now—whoever was after him could follow him there, and then the Kents would be in danger. But if Lex didn't come home, they would worry. He'd told them he wouldn't be home for dinner, but he hadn't asked if he could miss his curfew.</p><p>Lex took his cell phone out of his pocket. It was smashed from his fall from the window, but that was probably for the best: finding it shattered made him realize how big of a mistake that could have been. He didn't know who might be listening in on his phone conversations.</p><p>If Lex didn't call or show up, Jonathan would probably go to the mansion, and that was more dangerous than anything. Lex had to go back to the farm, if only to check in with his family. Selfishly, he wanted to spend longer with them. He was terrified, frustrated, and in horrible pain. He wanted his father to tell him he was safe, for his brother to encourage him, and for his mother to comfort him.</p><p>But he had to prioritize their safety over his comfort. He'd drop by, talk to them for a few minutes, then leave.</p><hr/><p>Martha's heart rate rose as the minutes ticked past eleven, approaching midnight, with no word from Lex. Long after Clark had gone to bed, Martha sat awake in the living room, sipping at a cup of chamomile, while Jonathan paced.</p><p>"Try calling his cell?" she asked.</p><p>"It's going straight to voicemail."</p><p>"The mansion?"</p><p>"Same. I'm not waiting until one in the morning this time, Martha, the second it hits midnight I'm going over there—"</p><p>"What if he's really hurt?" Her eyes stung. Lex had been dealing in dangerous territory, with his father. She knew she shouldn't have given him permission to stay at the mansion after dark, but although they were parenting him like a teenager, it was difficult to completely set aside the fact that he was twenty-three years old.</p><p>"I'm sure he's fine, Martha, but he's in a <em>lot</em> of trouble."</p><p>"Don't go too hard on him." Her voice cracked.</p><p>Jonathan came over and kissed her on the forehead. "I'll be fair. But I'm gonna make sure he never puts you through this again."</p><p>She winced, but nodded.</p><p>Jonathan glanced at his watch. "I'm giving him another ten minutes, then—"</p><p>There was a knock at the door.</p><p>"Lex!" Martha raced to the door and opened it to find him looking almost as battered as he did that night he came back from the island. "What happened?"</p><p>He rubbed the back of his neck, wincing, and stepped into the house. "I can't stay."</p><p>"You're not going anywhere," Jonathan said.</p><p>"I'm not playing around, Dad. Some people came by the mansion tonight. They tried to kill me."</p><p>Martha gasped. "<em>Kill</em> you?"</p><p>"There was a gunman in the mansion. I jumped out a window . . ."</p><p>"Did—did they follow you?"</p><p>"I don't think so. But I'm sure they're looking for me."</p><p>Jonathan stepped forward and put a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, son. You're safe here."</p><p>"Come sit down," Martha said. "I want to take a look at that scrape."</p><p>He limped into the house, but he didn't head for the couches. "Are you not hearing me? They might still be after me."</p><p>"Who?" she asked.</p><p>"Either Morgan Edge or my father."</p><p>Her voice caught in her throat. "I should bring Clark down to talk to you—"</p><p>"<em>No. </em>This is too dangerous, I'm not letting him be involved anymore—"</p><p>"Then get yourself out of it," Jonathan said. "That was the deal, son."</p><p>"It's too late! Don't you get it? My only hope is to put an end to this. I have to go on the run. I have to . . ." He staggered, gripping at his neck again. "There's . . . there's evidence in my safe, back at the mansion. Proof that my father . . . and Morgan Edge . . . I can end this . . . " He was getting more out of breath with every word.</p><p>"Okay." Jonathan stepped forward and took his arm. "We're going to talk about this in the morning. Your mother's going to take care of your cuts, then you're getting a good night's sleep—"</p><p>"I'm <em>not</em> gonna stay here!" Lex wrenched his arms away, staggered once more, and fell to the floor.</p><p>Martha gasped and knelt down. "Lex!" She put her fingers to his neck. His pulse was strong, but he didn't respond to her touch.</p><p>Jonathan knelt down and put a hand on her back. "He's on drugs, Martha."</p><p>She swallowed hard. "Do you think someone drugged him?"</p><p>"I don't know. Maybe tonight wasn't the first night the mansion security was breached."</p><p>Her eyes widened. "It's not safe for him there."</p><p>"I know. Why don't you go talk to Clark? I'll look after Lex."</p><p>Martha nodded and stood to walk up the stairs to Clark's bedroom. The door was cracked, and she pushed it open, then put a gentle hand on his back. "Clark."</p><p>He rolled over and blinked. "Mom?"</p><p>She flicked on the light, and he winced. "Sorry, sweetie. Lex just came home covered in scrapes and bruises. He says someone tried to attack him at the mansion. He had evidence about Lionel there."</p><p>Clark shot up out of bed. "Is he okay?"</p><p>"He passed out. He was worried about staying here because he thought someone might come after him."</p><p>Clark nodded. "What do we do?"</p><p>"Well, first, I'm wondering if you could carry him up to his bedroom. Dad and I could do it, but it'll be easier—"</p><p>"Oh, yeah." Clark was already climbing out of bed.</p><p>Martha followed him down the stairs. "And I want you to be on your guard. If he's right about the danger, it'll be worst during the night. If you stay up and guard the house, I'll call in sick for you tomorrow at the school, and you can sleep during the day."</p><p>"You probably don't need to. I don't really get tired."</p><p>"You get cranky. You're going to get your sleep."</p><p>They had reached the living room. Clark frowned down at Lex's crumpled frame. "Why'd he pass out?"</p><p>"We think he might have been drugged." Jonathan said.</p><p>Clark let his breath out and knelt to pick up Lex, then he carried him toward the stairs. Lex's eyebrows narrowed in a brief wince, but he didn't stir otherwise.</p><p>Martha turned on the light in the room and pulled back the blankets on Lex's bed. Clark set him down and stationed himself in a chair in the corner while Martha went to get a first aid kit. She cleaned and bandaged the wounds on his head. His eyes fluttered open a couple of times while she did. He didn't say anything, though he did let out a slight yelp when she removed a little shard of glass, as well as a couple of soft groans when the antiseptic sank in.</p><p>She rubbed his back for a moment and kissed his head before going over to do the same for Clark. "He's going to need some time to detox."</p><p>"Okay. I'll keep him safe, Mom," Clark said. "I'll keep us all safe."</p><p>"You're a good boy."</p><p>Clark smiled, and she left the room.</p><p>Jonathan was waiting for her in the hall. Before she could say anything, he took her into his arms. "It's going to be okay. Whatever he's involved in, we're going to tell him to get out of it."</p><p>She shook her head. "We can't. He's right, he's in too deep. We all are. The only way he can end this is to win the fight."</p><p>"Sweetheart—"</p><p>"Jonathan, you know I'm right." She trusted her boys. Of course, she was their mom—it was her job to worry—but she knew this fight was bigger than any of them.</p><p>Jonathan took a deep breath. "Lionel's after our boys. God help us."</p><p>Martha pulled her husband back into her arms.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Detox</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"Did he buy it?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, sir. The mansion has already been cleaned, and the window is being repaired as we speak."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Good. And you know what to say when the Kent boy comes around."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Of course. . . . Mr. Luthor, I've done everything you've asked. May I speak with my wife? . . . Sir?"</em>
</p><hr/><p>Clark stayed awake all night long, sitting on the chair in the corner of Lex's room. He didn't grow tired as the night grew on, but it was difficult to keep from getting bored.</p><p>He found himself jumping at every little noise outside. He wished super sensitive hearing was one of his powers, so he could be a better guard and hear what each sound was.</p><p>When the sun rose, Lex stirred. His eyes fell on Clark, and he sat straight up, then rubbed at his neck. "What happened?"</p><p>"You tell me. What do you remember?"</p><p>Lex shifted his weight, pulling aside the covers. "Ah . . . gunman at the mansion. Took out my head of security and tried to finish me off, too. I jumped out a window and ran here, and . . . Oh, no. I wasn't supposed to stay here. They're going to come looking for me, and—"</p><p>"It's okay, Lex, you're safe here. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you."</p><p>"They took out Darius, do you think they're going to hesitate to hurt you?"</p><p>"I'll be fine." Clark swallowed, frustrated that he couldn't explain why his protection was better than Lex's entire security team. If this went on for too much longer, he was going to tell Lex his secret whether Lex wanted to know or not. Lex was right that the battle they were fighting was dangerous—being unable to communicate was too big a disadvantage. "Why do you think they attacked you?"</p><p>"I got in touch with Morgan Edge yesterday," Lex said.</p><p>Clark's eyes widened. "Morgan Edge? But . . . he died. I saw him die."</p><p>"You <em>knew</em> him?"</p><p>Clark squirmed. "One of these days, remind me to tell you what happened over the summer."</p><p>"I don't think I want to know. It doesn't matter, Morgan Edge is very much alive. Went underground, got some hack plastic surgeon to change his appearance. I got him to make a confession about the crime and Lionel committed, and the tape was supposed to be delivered to the US Attorney this morning. But it's in my safe, Clark. And I can't go back there."</p><p>"Okay. I'll go get it."</p><p>"No, no, it's too dangerous, Clark. The people in the mansion could be in on this."</p><p>"No, if anyone asks, I'll just play dumb. Tell them I was there to meet you."</p><p>"Clark. <em>No. </em>I shouldn't even be <em>here</em>, I'm going to leave now." Lex stood from the bed.</p><p>Clark put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back down. He used enough force that Lex couldn't get away, but not enough that Lex might suspect his strength was superhuman. "No. Dad thinks you might have been drugged. Mom wants you to stay here and detox."</p><p>"But—"</p><p>"It's like you've said. The only way we can get out of this safely is if we win the fight. That evidence will send your father to prison?"</p><p>"Given the crime, it could get him the death penalty."</p><p>Clark frowned—he wanted to ask if that was what Lex really wanted, but there was no point in that right now. It wasn't their job to decide what to do with him; that was up to the courts. It was their job to relay the evidence. "What's the combination for the safe?"</p><p>"You're <em>not</em> going over there."</p><p>Clark realized his dad had a point, about Lex being drugged. He always worried about keeping Clark and his family safe, but he was usually much more rational about it. Right now, he was downright paranoid. "Lex, how do you think this ends if we don't get that evidence to the US Attorney?"</p><p>Lex was silent for a long time. Then he looked down and muttered, "Combo is 15988."</p><p>Clark nodded. "Thanks. I'll be right back." He clapped Lex on the shoulder and headed out of the house.</p><p>He ran to the mansion and headed directly to the study, but the safe was empty, and there was no evidence of a window having been broken, other than a shard of red stained glass behind a table in the hallway. Darius wasn't around, but the security guard who was on duty said that he hadn't been in the night before, and that nothing interesting had happened all night.</p><p>For a moment, Clark wondered if Lex had been seeing things. He had seemed especially crazed and irrational that morning—Clark had assumed it was from the near-death experience, but maybe it was from the drugs. Still, he found it difficult to believe that Lex could have merely imagined being shot at, no matter what his security guard said.</p><hr/><p>While Clark was out at the mansion, Martha climbed the stairs to bring Lex a cup of coffee. He had been limping the night before, and she wasn't sure how badly he was injured. If it was bad, she would need to make sure he rested in his room for the day.</p><p>The door to his room was halfway open, and she could hear singing from inside. She knocked on the doorframe. "Lex?"</p><p>"<em>Hush little baby, don't say a word—</em>"</p><p>"Lex." Martha stepped into the room. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, a blanket bundled up in his arms. "Everything okay?"</p><p>"I had to get the baby. He was crying."</p><p>She swallowed and set down the coffee mug on his nightstand. "The baby?"</p><p>He angled the blanket so she could see. "My little brother. Julian."</p><p>A shudder ran through her limbs. Jonathan had been right about Lex being on drugs, and apparently, they hadn't worn off yet. "Sweetie—"</p><p>"Shh." Lex smiled. "He's asleep."</p><p>"Lex. You're having a hallucination."</p><p>He blinked, and his brow furrowed, like he was trying to understand her but couldn't. "No, I . . . aww, look at him. He's so peaceful when he sleeps."</p><p>It felt like an anchor dropped on to her chest. She was going to have to tell him his brother was dead. He might receive it was if the news was fresh. He might have to grieve for the death of his baby brother as if it had just happened.</p><p>Unless . . . maybe she could work him out of the hallucination gradually.</p><p>"Can I hold him?" she whispered.</p><p>He smiled and handed over the blanket.</p><p>Martha held it in her arms as if she really were holding a baby—she felt a sharp pang for a moment as she remembered her miscarriage—and she looked up at Lex. "So tell me about what happened last night?"</p><p>Lex cleared his throat and kept his eyes on her face. "I don't want you to get involved, Mom. It's bad enough that Clark is."</p><p>"Just tell me what you can."</p><p>"I had some evidence that was supposed to be delivered. I think my father found out. Clark just went to pick it up from the mansion. If he's successful, I think we can end this in a matter of days."</p><p>While he was speaking, she slowly, gradually pulled back the layers on the blanket until it was fully unravelled on her lap, then she folded it back up into a square. He didn't seem to notice what she was doing. It seemed the hallucinations had ended and smoothly and quickly as they had begun. She was afraid to bring it up to him, though—she had no idea if doing so might trigger something worse. She was probably going to need to convince him to see a therapist when all of this was over. She didn't doubt Jonathan's guess that Lex was drugged, but this whole endeavor was quickly becoming what would probably be one of the most traumatic experiences of Lex's lifetime.</p><p>She set the blanket aside—he still didn't react to that—and reached over to pick up the coffee mug. She held it out to him.</p><p>He looked at the mug, then up at her face. "What is this?"</p><p>"It's just coffee. Thought you might—"</p><p>"Liar." There was a starry, distant expression in his eyes.</p><p>"Lex?"</p><p>"<em>Liar!</em>" He jumped up from the bed, limping back away from her. "You're trying to drug me!"</p><p>He was <em>definitely</em> on something. Her heart pounded, and she set down the mug and stood. "No, Lex, try to settle down—"</p><p>He shoved her back. "I shouldn't have trusted you!"</p><p>"I would never—"</p><p>"<em>No! </em>You want to poison me!" He shoved her harder, and she fell. She was lucky his bed was there, but her elbow smashed against his bed frame.</p><p>She forced herself to her feet. "Sweetheart, look at me." Martha reached for the coffee mug and took a sip. "See? It's fine. But you don't have to drink it if you don't want to. Actually . . ." She winced at the mug. "Maybe should get you some chamomile instead."</p><p>He winced and clutched at his neck. "O-okay." His eyes fell on her elbow. "I—I hurt you."</p><p>She looked down at it. It wasn't bleeding, but the top layer of skin was torn up. It hadn't stung before—she'd been too preoccupied by the terror of watching whatever was happening to her son—but now it throbbed. "I'm okay, sweetheart. But you need to get some rest."</p><p>"No. I can't stay here. I'm bad for your family."</p><p>"Lex—"</p><p>"<em>No.</em>" He pushed past her and ran out into the hall.</p><p>She raced after him, and relief washed through her—Clark was coming up the stairs. "Whoa, where are you going?"</p><p>"<em>Away!</em>" Lex bolted for the stairs.</p><p>"Clark, bring him back up here!"</p><p>Clark took Lex by the arm—Lex struggled against him, but Clark didn't let go. "Hang on, Lex, what's going on?"</p><p>Lex's eyes flashed. "Clark! Did you get the evidence from my safe?"</p><p>"Your safe was empty. It was like the Twilight Zone. There was nothing wrong. I called Darius's house to see if anyone knew he was missing. But according to his answering machine, his wife and his kids are off visiting their grandparents."</p><p>"<em>Liar!</em>" Lex wrenched his arm from Clark's grip.</p><p>Clark simply grabbed his other arm. "What's going on, Lex?"</p><p>"Let me <em>go, </em>let <em>go</em> of me, you're in on this, too!"</p><p>Martha took a step closer, though she kept her distance from Lex's thrashing limbs. "He's been like this on and off since I saw him. He though I'd poisoned the coffee, he was hallucinating Julian—"</p><p>"<em>Julian!</em>" Lex punched Clark in the arm, grimacing a little when his fist landed. "What did you do to him?" He landed another punch.</p><p>"He's not making any sense," Martha said. "I'm worried he's going to hurt himself or someone else if we let him run away."</p><p>"He needs a hospital," Clark said.</p><p>"<em>No!</em> No hospitals! These people are professionals, they'll find me, they'll—"</p><p>"Clark," Martha spoke over him. "Get him up to his room." She was nervous about them fighting on the stairs—she knew Clark was fast, but he couldn't fly, and she couldn't help envisioning them tumbling down the stairs and Lex cracking his head open.</p><p>"Let me <em>go!</em>" Lex struggled hard as Clark pulled him up the stairs and towards his bedroom.</p><p>Tears pricked Martha's eyes. Someone had done this to him. Her precious son. They had taken his mind, made him go insane. She silently prayed the effects were temporary.</p><p>"You're okay, Lex, you're okay, we're going to take care of you." Clark lead him over to the bed and sat him down, keeping an arm around him so he couldn't leave. "What do we do, Mom?"</p><p>"I—I don't . . ." She shook her head, pacing in his room while Lex screamed and struggled. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks. "He's been cycling in and out of his episodes, he might settle down in a few minutes. How long can you hold him?"</p><p>Lex had started repeatedly punching Clark—in the hands, the stomach, the arms, though Clark kept dodging with his head so Lex never hit him in the face. Clark adjusted his grip. "I'll be fine. But he's gonna hurt himself."</p><p>"Mom!" Lex's crazed eyes met hers. "Make him let me go!" He landed another hit, this time hard enough that he cried out and cradled his hand to his chest.</p><p>"Do you want me to knock him out?" Clark asked.</p><p>"<em>Mom! Please!</em>" Lex cried.</p><p>"H-he doesn't need another concussion. Can you—restrain his arms?"</p><p>"<em>No! </em>I hate you, I hate all of you—"</p><p>"Sorry, buddy." Clark turned Lex around and pinned his arms behind his back. Lex thrashed with his head and torso, and Clark pushed him down on the bed so he was lying on his stomach.</p><p>Immobile, Lex started crying. <em>"</em>Ow,<em> owww. </em>Mom, please make him stop, he's hurting me, <em>it hurts!</em>"</p><p>His pain pierced straight through her. "Can you lighten up your grip?"</p><p>Clark shook his head. "Not unless he stops struggling."</p><p>"<em>OWWW!</em> Please, Mom!"</p><p>"Sweetheart," Martha said, taking a step closer and trying to meet his eyes, "try to calm down, take deep breaths—"</p><p>"I'm gonna die," Lex said, "I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die . . ."</p><p>"<em>No,</em>" Clark said. "<em>Stop</em> that. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you."</p><p>"Julian's dead, my mom's dead . . ." His whole body shook violently.</p><p>Martha felt a couple of sobs escape from her chest as well, but she forced herself to breathe deeply and approach her sons. She sat beside the bed and reached out toward Lex.</p><p>"<em>No! </em>Get away from me!<em> NOOO!</em>"</p><p>She flinched, but gently stroked his head. "Sh, shh, it's okay. I'm never gonna hurt you, baby."</p><p>"<em>No</em> . . . no . . ." His eyes fluttered closed, and a tear dripped from his soaked eyelashes.</p><p>"You're okay. You're safe. We've got you. You're safe." She leaned over and kissed his temple.</p><p>"Hey, it's okay, buddy," Clark chimed in. He shifted his grip so that he held both of Lex's arms in place with one hand, and used the other to rub his back. "We're not gonna let anyone hurt you."</p><p>Fresh tears filled Lex's eyes, but he stopped struggling, and his breathing became a bit more even. "Clark?" Lex said.</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"You should call Chloe. She's the one who told me about Morgan Edge. She could be in danger, too."</p><p>He nodded, but kept holding Lex's arms. "Mom? Could you . . ."</p><p>"I'll bring you the phone." She gave Lex one more kiss on the cheek, stood to kiss Clark on the forehead, and left the room.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Lingering Danger</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"I believe he's gone to stay with the Kents. He hasn't been by the mansion since the night of the attack."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That's fine."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"The drugs will wear off, sir. I can't easily administer them while he's not here. "</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm well aware of that, Darius."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Then how do you expect him to get himself committed to Belle Reve?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ah, but there's no use in trying to commit him anymore, is there?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You think the Kents will break him out?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"If they Kents are involved, well, that calls for a bit of a change in plans. I'll be sending additional instructions shortly."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, sir."</em>
</p><hr/><p>For the next week, Martha barely slept at night.</p><p>With Gabe's permission, Chloe stayed with them for a couple of days—they had to offer her the couch, since the guest room was taken—and Clark didn't stray more than ten feet away from Lex's room until his psychotic episodes had slowed to a stop. But when they heard nothing for a few days, and when the effects of the drugs seemed to be letting up, they began to drop their guard. It just wasn't possible to be on red alert constantly, and there was simply no evidence that they were in any danger other than Lex's injuries and a small piece of glass Clark had found on the floor of a hallway in the mansion.</p><p>Part of Martha wondered, though she would never have said it aloud, whether the whole debacle had been, somehow, a hallucination. The idea that Morgan Edge had somehow survived with a new face didn't sound too far off from the other delusions Lex had had. But she also knew he would be sensitive to such a suggestion. After doing some research, Chloe confided in Martha that Lex had had hallucinations about Julian when he was a teenager as well—he was particularly susceptible to psychosis, and he probably knew it. And Martha knew Clark had once lied to Lex in a way that made him feel like he might be crazy. She had to be careful about making those kinds of suggestions.</p><p>Then, of course, if this whole thing really was a conspiracy, it was working. It had gotten Lex to back off the fight. Either way, Martha was just thankful he hadn't been seriously hurt.</p><p>From what she could tell, if it was a conspiracy, someone—probably Lionel—had been trying to make it so Lex would be dismissed as a lunatic. Of course, with a family of supporters on the outside, that would be difficult to ensure. Martha wondered if Lionel knew.</p><p>Meanwhile, something else was on Martha's mind. Thanksgiving was less than a week away. She knew Lex hadn't had a proper family dinner on Thanksgiving in years, and she had been hoping to make it the best they'd ever had. It seemed petty and small in comparison to the battle her sons were fighting, but she also knew that sometimes, the security of those sweet family moments were what helped all of them make it through the toughest times. And that security was what she could give.</p><hr/><p>A week after the incident at the mansion, Clark sat in the Torch office trying to catch up on classwork. The attendance office at his school hadn't asked any questions when his mom had called in sick for him for a week. He was often late to class, but he was <em>never</em> absent, so they had no reason to doubt her word. But he couldn't stay away forever, and now he was paying the price for having missed all of that work.</p><p>Chloe came into the room with a file folder. "Lab results came back."</p><p>Clark sat up straight and turned to face her. "And?"</p><p>"The scotch is clean."</p><p>Clark frowned. He didn't want to break into the mansion again to steal more samples—Lex wouldn't be okay with it. "Well, maybe they drugged something else."</p><p>"Look . . . I want to believe that this is a conspiracy just as much as you do, believe me, but I think we need to start preparing ourselves for the possibility that Lex really is losing his mind."</p><p>"I'm not ready to do that."</p><p>"Clark—"</p><p>"He didn't <em>imagine</em> someone shooting at him, Chloe."</p><p>"You saw him hallucinating, didn't you? And . . . I know he's your friend, and he's been great to my father and to me, but you have to admit, his perceptions aren't always all there. And I know things have been rough for him. Is it possible he's <em>taking</em> drugs?"</p><p>"No. He wouldn't do that."</p><p>"Didn't he think he hit you with his car when he first met you?"</p><p>Clark let his eyes fall closed. Even though it had been necessary at the time, he felt terrible about the way he'd made Lex feel about that. Chloe bringing it up made him trust Lex's word more than ever, though he couldn't explain why to her. "Chloe, do you trust me?"</p><p>Her brow furrowed. "Of course, Clark."</p><p>"Then believe me now. You know how dangerous Lionel is."</p><p>"I do, it's just . . ." She winced and shook her head. "No. You're right. I admire your loyalty to your friend, it's one of the things I like about you."</p><p>"He's not just my friend, Chloe. Lex is my brother. He's part of my family now, he . . . kinda started calling my parents Mom and Dad."</p><p>Her eyes widened. "I had no idea. That's great, really. I know he doesn't really have much of a family."</p><p>"Yeah, it is." She was the first person he'd told about that. He and Lana hadn't exactly been in each other's confidence for awhile, and things were still awkward between him and Pete, since Pete was constantly finding excuses to badmouth Lex.</p><p>"I'll keep looking into things," Chloe said. "Maybe I can find some evidence hidden away . . ."</p><p>Clark shook his head. "I don't want anything to happen to you."</p><p>"I'll be careful. I can take care of myself. I just . . . I know how important this is, and I want to help."</p><p>He hesitated, but then put a hand on her arm. "I can always count on you, Chloe."</p><p>Her face lit up, her eyes smiling along with the rest of her face, and for a moment, he remembered that awhile ago, she'd had a crush on him—she might get the wrong idea if he said things like that to her. But then, he figured, that had been a long time ago, and it had been her idea to remain just friends. It was probably fine.</p><hr/><p>Lex had no idea where he would be if he didn't have the Kents to back him up in his belief that there was a conspiracy at the mansion. He might have been effectively convinced that he really was going insane. And if, on top of that, Clark had still been lying to him about his secrets, it might have been devastating. Lex had never been so thankful for his family.</p><p>As the effects of the drugs started to wear off, Lex found that his memories of the days before were foggy. Martha told him he'd hallucinated seeing Julian, which he didn't remember at all, and that he'd had to be pinned down by Clark to keep him from running away or hurting himself, which he remembered vaguely. As to the nasty scrape on Martha's arm, though, he remembered all too clearly how she'd gotten it, and it took several of her gentle lectures and long hugs to tame the crippling guilt he felt whenever he saw her.</p><p>Unfortunately, that was just the start of the guilt. After a few days, Lex had to start emailing and calling in apologies to everyone he'd let down at the plant by missing work for a few days, and making it up to them by working double time to catch up. His mind overfull with worries about Lionel, Morgan Edge, his family, and the plant, it took over a week for it to even occur to him that he'd missed a meeting with Lana and hadn't been by the Talon at all for almost two weeks.</p><p>The day he realized what he'd done, Lex dropped by a few minutes after closing with a box of chocolates, a dozen pink roses with baby's breath, and a folder with all of the work he was supposed to have completed over the past two weeks, as well as some work that was usually hers to do. She was wiping down tables when he came in.</p><p>She looked up at him and smiled. "What's this?"</p><p>"My sincerest apology. I missed our last meeting and never told you why. I've been . . . struggling with some family issues, as well as my health."</p><p>"Oh, Lex!" She took the flowers, set the box of chocolates on the table, and thumbed through the folder of work. "Oh, <em>thank</em> you. I was dreading this."</p><p>"I'm under no illusion that it makes up for blowing you off without communicating to you."</p><p>"This is really sweet. You didn't have to go to all this trouble."</p><p>"Yes I did. It was unprofessional and disrespectful to your time. It suggests I don't appreciate you, which couldn't be further from the truth."</p><p>She smiled wryly. "If I held a grudge every time someone stood me up for a meeting, Clark Kent would be my worst enemy."</p><p>Lex frowned—that wasn't okay with him. He knew Clark had a tendency to disappear at odd times, but he didn't realize how bad it was, and it made him uncomfortable to know he'd been defending that behavior to Lana. "Well, that's unacceptable. I'll talk to him about it."</p><p>"It's really okay. I know he's like a brother to you, and you feel like you have to defend him, but . . . I'm over him. Really."</p><p>Lex nodded slowly. "Lana . . . I want to promise you that it won't happen again. But I'm going to be honest with you, the family issues . . . they're still going on." He was going to see if he could get through the holidays without any further issues—the case wasn't going to get any colder, but giving Lionel time to let his guard down could be helpful. "I might disappear again, and I might not be able to let you know in advance."</p><p>"It's okay, Lex. I just appreciate <em>someone</em> being honest with me." She looked away.</p><p><em>Oh, yeah. She's definitely over Clark. </em>Lex resisted the urge to say something about it—that whole issue really wasn't his business, even though he had made it so for a long time. "I'm assuming you're wanting to skip our meeting this Sunday as well. Seeing as it's Thanksgiving weekend."</p><p>"I'm available if you are." She smiled brightly. "I've got some stories about customers . . ."</p><p>That was always his favorite part of their meetings. "I'm available. The mansion isn't. We could meet here after closing?"</p><p>"I'll see you then." She grinned, and he left the Talon, feeling lighter than he had in awhile.</p><p>He drove home and caught Clark just before he was heading up to bed. "Hey, Clark."</p><p>"Hey, are you still feeling alright?"</p><p>Lex nodded. "I think the drugs have worn off. I appreciate everything you've done for me."</p><p>"You're my brother, Lex. We're not going to stop fighting this."</p><p>"Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about."</p><p>Clark's brow furrowed.</p><p>Lex took a deep breath. "Whoever drugged me sent a pretty clear message about what this fight is going to be like. Now, I'm still willing to go to bat to take down Lionel—"</p><p>"You're not getting me to back down. We're in this together."</p><p>"That's not what I was saying. I'm just thinking . . . maybe we take a break."</p><p>Clark crossed his arms. "Until the end of your six-month deal with Mom and Dad, so you can cut me out?"</p><p>"No. Until after Christmas." Lex gave a half smile. "Maybe it's selfish, but . . . I kind of wanted to enjoy the holidays with your family."</p><p>Clark nodded. "Of course."</p><p>Lex put a hand on his shoulder. "Thanks, Clark."</p><p>"You, uh . . . you haven't had a real family Thanksgiving or Christmas in awhile, have you?"</p><p>Lex shook his head. He used to hide in a coat closet.</p><p>Clark grinned. "I can't wait."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Thanksgiving</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy Thanksgiving week to all who celebrate it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"Were you able to get into the farm house?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Without a problem, sir."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Excellent. Nothing further, Darius. I'll allow you to spend the holidays with your family."</em>
</p><hr/><p>On Thanksgiving day, Lex felt safe enough to go into the office at the plant. He hadn't heard from Lionel, there hadn't been any further threats, and his psychotic episodes were completely gone. Additionally, he had doubled the security staffing, though he assigned many of them only a half day, so that they could spend time with their families.</p><p>Lex knew how much the holidays meant to Martha, and he wasn't going to let anything interfere with them if he could avoid it. Until he could regroup and start back up his crusade, he'd fight Lionel the way he always had in the past—by protecting LexCorp and keeping it strong.</p><p>He took a long walk around the area near the plant during his lunch break—he didn't have to hurry back, seeing as very few people were working on the holiday. Down the street from the plant, some local farmers had torn down the nearby pumpkin patch and set up a tree lot.</p><p>It was mostly deserted for now, other than the employees. He figured most people went to pick up their their trees after Thanksgiving, not before. He paused just outside the lot, his eyes falling closed as he breathed in the pine scent, and his mind wandered back . . .</p><p>Nine years back. He'd been fourteen, almost fifteen, and he and Lionel had passed by a tree lot. Lex had lingered outside the lot, watching a little family—a middle-aged couple and two teenage boys. The boys kept getting distracted from the task and throwing snowballs at each other, shouting and laughing. The dad seemed to border on frustration, calling the boys over to help, but the mom smiled and took her husband's hand, said something softly to him while watching the kids, and he smiled and kissed her on the cheek. The kids finally rejoined with their parents, and the four of them gathered around one of the trees, talking excitedly before the dad went to start chopping it down.</p><p>Fourteen-year-old Lex had looked up at Lionel with some longing. Even when his mother was alive, they'd always sent servants to pick up the tree. One year, when he was <em>really</em> little, they did to go pick one out, but even then, they didn't cut it down themselves. In that moment, watching the little family talking and laughing, Lex had wondered if an outing to the tree lot might be what he and his father needed to reconnect. They hadn't celebrated the previous Christmas, since his mother's death was fresh.</p><p>But Lionel hadn't even acknowledged him. And a few weeks later, they still didn't have a tree up at all. When Lex finally worked up the courage to ask about it, Lionel dropped his reservations about leaving marks on Lex's face for the first time since Julian's death.</p><p>Something about the image of that family had stuck in Lex's mind all these years. Now, as he watched the workers setting up their signs in the tree lot, it occurred to Lex that Clark and Jonathan probably went to pick up a tree every year, and Martha probably went with them. They might even ask Lex to come along this year.</p><p>He longed for that. So much, it hurt. He knew they'd have a tree in their home either way, but for some reason, he felt like going with them to pick one out would somehow make up for the years of not having one. He couldn't imagine throwing snowballs at Clark—well, unless Clark started it—but he could imagine being surrounded by other families, confirming for him that he was a part of a real family himself. He'd be more than willing to pay for the tree, though he doubted Jonathan would let him.</p><p>But Lex couldn't bring it up to them, and his pride wouldn't let him open up about how much it meant. He would just have to hope that they would think to invite him. It was something families did together—if he was really their son, like they said, they probably <em>would</em> invite him.</p><p>Lex went home a couple of hours after lunch, since Martha said that dinner would be at four. She'd been up at five in the morning to start preparing food. On the drive home, the light rain turned into a gentle, drifting snow that melted when it hit his windshield. Lex pulled into the driveway, carried the bottle of wine he'd brought to the front door, and carefully wiped the slush from his dress shoes on the welcome mat before knocking.</p><p>"It's open!" Martha's voice called.</p><p>He stepped inside, and the savory smells of turkey and stuffing made him pause for a moment to drink it in.</p><p>"Come help me for a minute?"</p><p>Lex snapped to attention. "Of course." He set the bottle on the kitchen table, went over to the stove, and took the spoon she handed him. Her hands were full, but she reached up to give him a kiss on the cheek, and he smiled.</p><p>"I'm, uh, I'm not sure you and Dad drink." He'd never actually seen them drinking, but their first Thanksgiving together called for celebration. Not that they were likely to have any way of really appreciating the quality of the wine he'd brought, but it made him happy to give it to them.</p><p>"We don't usually spend the money. But this will be very nice."</p><p>He made a mental note to start contributing to their dinners more often. It hadn't even occurred to him how much extra they'd probably been spending over the months to feed an extra person; he should have considered it. "Where's Dad and Clark?"</p><p>"Out in the barn. They'll be here in a couple of minutes. Could you start setting the table? I've got the nice china out."</p><p>He went over to the table and began laying out dishes, but frowned toward the door. "I'd feel more comfortable if you kept the door locked, Mom."</p><p>"Your dad didn't bring his house key out to the barn. But I'll keep it in mind for the future."</p><p>Lex nodded and finished setting the table. He tried to think about how to bring up the tree lot, but he couldn't seem to get himself to start that conversation.</p><p>Jonathan and Clark came in a few minutes later. Both immediately went over to hug Lex and Martha. Lex took Clark's embrace with a bit of surprise and no small amount of happiness, since Clark didn't do that often.</p><p>"A couple of things need a minute to cool," Martha said. "Let's sit?"</p><p>They took their places around the table. No one spoke—Martha and Clark seemed to be waiting for something, looking up at Jonathan.</p><p>Jonathan cleared his throat. "Martha, I thank God for you, my beautiful wife. You're the strongest person I know. You put this family together and I wouldn't have any of it if it weren't for you. I love you, baby."</p><p>Tears glistened in her eyes.</p><p>He turned to Clark. "And I thank God for you, Clark. You're loyal to your friends, you would do anything to protect our family, and your never-ending desire to use your abilities to help people is absolutely inspiring. Thank you, son."</p><p>"Thanks, Dad," Clark said softly, his cheeks turning pink.</p><p>Jonathan nodded and turned to Lex, whose heart pounded. "And Lex, I thank God for you, too. You've always been brilliant, and I see you growing braver and stronger and nobler every day. You're a good man, son."</p><p>Lex didn't have time to overcome the overjoyed tightening in his throat for long enough to thank his father, nor did he have time to collapse into a broken-down mess at the public praise. They started passing around the food.</p><p>Lex had been to museums in which he'd seen works of art beautiful enough to bring tears to his eyes. If cooking was an art form, this was the equivalent. He couldn't keep the smile from his lips—it was absolute ecstasy.</p><p>It was silent for awhile as they ate.</p><p>Lex was the first to break the silence. The tree lot was still on his mind, which was committing the absolute crime of distracting him from the perfection of the meal. "So . . . the Christmas season starts pretty soon."</p><p>His mother's face lit up. "You'll spend Christmas with us?"</p><p>"If you'll have me."</p><p>Clark snorted. "Like they'd <em>let</em> you spend it away."</p><p>Lex smiled. "I haven't even had a Christmas tree in . . . " He shook his head, not sure how to continue.</p><p>"We always pick up ours the Saturday after Thanksgiving," Clark said.</p><p>"Oh, okay. So, um, all three of you go to the lot?" He tried to appear casual, but his mom was staring at him.</p><p>"Lex," she said, "would you like to come with us?"</p><p>His throat choked up, but he forced himself to stay cool. "Yes, ma'am," he said. "I'd like that very much."</p><hr/><p>Jonathan had spent more than twenty Thanksgivings with Martha, and even he had to admit that she had outdone herself this year.</p><p>Normally, they had a bigger crowd. Some years they invited the Ross family, sometimes it was others from the community. Martha liked to invite people who she thought might not have any family or friends to spend the time with. But this year, their first concern was safety for their little family. That meant Lex needed to feel safe as well—they couldn't bring anyone with a prejudice against the Luthor name, and that just about ruled out the entire town. Jonathan was still embarrassed about the way he'd treated Lex when they'd first met.</p><p>While the boys were watching football in the living room, Martha asked Jonathan to check Lex's room to make sure there were enough extra blankets in his closet. It was a good call, considering he would probably rather freeze to death than feel like he was inconveniencing them by asking for something. He'd come a long way, but he still had a long way to go.</p><p>Jonathan glanced in the closet to see there was a pretty good-sized stack of blankets on the shelf. He was about to leave when something caught his eyes—the corner of a plastic ziploc bag, tucked beneath a pair of shoes.</p><p>He knelt down and moved aside the shoes, then his breath froze in his chest.</p><p>There were lines of ziploc bags, hidden beneath a fallen jacket.</p><p>Bags of white powder.</p><p>The first thing that crossed Jonathan's mind was confusion. He figured there had to be an explanation. Lex wouldn't do this . . . but then, the proof was in front of his eyes.</p><p>Next was worry—what might his son be caught up in? Lex had been fighting Lionel, but Jonathan couldn't imagine this was a part of that fight. Not only that, but Lex hadn't talked to Jonathan or Martha about this. And he'd been using their closet as a storage space for illegal materials.</p><p>Finally came the undercurrents of anger, but it wasn't the same type of anger he would have felt a year or two ago. Not the hateful anger that arose from believing the worst about an enemy, but the passionate disappointment of a father who was responsible for guiding and shaping his son's moral character.</p><p>But Jonathan pulled himself back to confusion. He believed what he had said at the dinner table—his son was a good man. There had to be an explanation.</p><p>He would confront Lex in the morning. Tonight was family time.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Evidence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"It's Thanksgiving weekend, sir, I'm with my family."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, yes, I'm aware I'm disturbing you during the holiday. Have the Kents found the items you dropped?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, sir. According to the security footage."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Excellent. And the other players, they're ready?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"In position, sir."</em>
</p><hr/><p>Lex woke up the morning after Thanksgiving with a light smile on his face—the lingering pleasure from the night before, combined with the slight remaining discomfort from the sheer amount he'd eaten. He'd never know what his mom had been thinking, preparing so much food for only four people, but he was thankful she had. They would have leftovers for days.</p><p>He still wanted to go into the office today, since he'd been away for awhile. He dressed quickly, and he was still smiling, contemplating whether it would be too strange to raid the fridge for turkey and mashed potatoes for breakfast, by the time he reached the kitchen. Both his parents were sitting at the kitchen table, and they looked up at Lex when he entered the room, as if they'd been just sitting and waiting for him to arrive.</p><p>Lex's throat felt dry. It was clear they had bad news. And he hadn't seen Clark this morning . . . "Where's Clark?"</p><p>"He's already out doing chores," Jonathan said. "We wanted to speak with you alone."</p><p>Lex swallowed. "What's going on?"</p><p>"Well, maybe you can tell us. Son, is there anything you want to talk to us about? Anything, uh, you want us to know?"</p><p>Lex took a step back—did they know about his meeting with Morgan Edge? He knew they wouldn't be happy about that. "I was just trying to get evidence to put Lionel away. That's all, I swear. I should have talked to you about it—"</p><p>"I thought Lionel was caught up with murder, not drugs," Jonathan said.</p><p>Lex blinked a couple of times. "Uh. I do think he drugged me, but that's not really . . ." He shook his head and came over to sit at the table. "Okay, what's this about?"</p><p>Jonathan and Martha exchanged a glance, then Jonathan reached into his pocket and placed a ziploc bag of white powder on the table.</p><p>"What's this?"</p><p>"We found it in your closet. Along with about a dozen others just like it."</p><p>All the air rushed out of his lungs—Lex felt like he'd been punched in the gut.</p><p>"I looked into the side effects of the drug. Hallucinations, paranoia—"</p><p>"Dad. I haven't had a psychotic episode in four days."</p><p>"The negative side effects come and go."</p><p>Lex's breath caught. "Being drugged was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. I wouldn't take drugs voluntarily just for a high." Even when he <em>had</em> taken drugs, years ago, the high had been nothing like the natural high of the night before.</p><p>Martha frowned. "So you really don't know how those got in your closet?"</p><p>He chose his words carefully. "I think Lionel would do anything to make me look unstable or crazy. Especially in your eyes, if he suspects anything about our relationship. And I think you need to take what I've been saying about keeping the doors locked seriously, Mom. If you're willing, I'd like to buy you locks for all of the windows, too." Lex had no idea where the drugs had come from, but direct confession or denial really wasn't how he did things. Lionel had drilled plausible deniability into him from a young age.</p><p>Jonathan searched his eyes for a moment, then said, "Son, you've come a long way in earning our trust. But . . . the day we made our deal, you also told me you were a good liar. You asked me to make you prove you weren't lying."</p><p>Lex's teeth clenched. "Dad—"</p><p>"Sweetheart," Martha said, "you asked us to parent you like a teenager for a reason. You were nervous that you'd fall into bad habits. If that's what's happening here, we want to help you."</p><p>Lex could hear his pulse in his ears. "You really think I'd do this?"</p><p>"No," Jonathan said. "Absolutely not. If you say you didn't do it, I believe you. I'm only checking in because you requested it."</p><p>Lex nodded slowly and tried to calm himself. They had a good point—if Lex <em>was</em> guilty, he'd be trying to squirm his way out of it, and he'd need them to come down hard on him. They were just being good parents, like he'd asked. "Okay. I'll get an anonymous drug test done, there's a doctor who does drug testing at LexCorp. And I'm willing to provide references who can give accounts of my whereabouts for every minute of every day."</p><p>"I'm not sure I need the minute-by-minute alibi, but a drug test would set my mind at ease."</p><p>"Giving you both would ease mine."</p><p>Jonathan nodded. "And . . . son, I, uh, I don't think I have to say this, and I'm sure we'll clear this up, but . . . if those drugs really are yours, you should keep in mind that the consequences of deceiving us are going to be much, much worse than what we would have done if you'd come forward and let us know you had a problem."</p><p>That was fair—it was what he would need. "Yes, sir."</p><p>"Okay, then. Off to the plant?"</p><p>Lex nodded. He'd lost his appetite for breakfast—he'd just grab a cup of coffee on the way out. "I'll send the doctor by at lunchtime with the test results."</p><p>"Okay, son. We love you."</p><p>"Love you too, Dad." He tried not to imagine how Lionel would have handled it if he'd found drugs in Lex's closet when Lex was a teenager. This was so much better.</p><p>Martha stood and gave him a quick hug, then he headed out.</p><hr/><p>Jonathan tried to put aside the thought of what he'd seen while he did the morning chores. Clark noticed he looked stressed and asked why, and Jonathan told him honesty that he wasn't ready to talk about it yet, but that Clark would find out soon enough. Of course, Clark could probably find solid evidence of Lex's innocence if Jonathan asked, but he really didn't think it would come down to that. Lex had looked confused when Jonathan took out the drugs, and he'd denied involvement. Jonathan believed him; he was just doing his job as a parent.</p><p>A knock came at the door a quarter after noon. Jonathan opened it to greet a man in a lab coat with a folder.</p><p>"Afternoon, sir."</p><p>"Good afternoon. Is this about Lex?"</p><p>"It is. He asked me to show you this—" the man held up a card identifying him as a doctor who worked for the plant— "as well as this." He took a paper out of the folder.</p><p>Jonathan skimmed it and nodded. "Clean, then."</p><p>"Ah . . ." The doctor lowered his voice and looked at Jonathan over the rims of his glasses. "That's what young Mr. Luthor asked me to tell you."</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"Well, I told him that sending a false report would go against my oath. He threatened to fire me if I told you the truth. Guess he didn't know I was already planning to put in my two weeks. It takes its toll, working for a Luthor."</p><p>Jonathan's eyes narrowed. "The test came back positive?"</p><p>"Oh, yes."</p><p>"How recently were the drugs taken?"</p><p>"Ah . . . based on the blood concentrations, if it was any more than three days ago, the dose would have been lethal. I take it this comes as a surprise."</p><p>Jonathan felt himself beginning to sweat. "Is it possible the drugs were taken accidentally?"</p><p>"Not likely. Ingestion wouldn't explain the reports I saw. They were injected."</p><p>"Understood. Thanks for the report."</p><p>"Of course." With that, the doctor left.</p><p>Jonathan closed the door behind him. He wasn't sure whether to believe the doctor's words, but it was enough to make him nervous. Still, if Lex was denying involvement, Jonathan believed him.</p><p>But then . . . Lex <em>hadn't</em> denied involvement. Not directly. He'd almost danced around the question. Jonathan could almost feel his blood pressure rise at the thought. If Lex thought he'd avoid Jonathan's anger by claiming he hadn't lied . . . No. Lying by direct omission, by intentional deception, was just as bad. Possibly worse, because it was more manipulative. Lex should have known that.</p><p>Jonathan grabbed his jacket, told Martha he'd be back in an hour, and drove by the mansion, just to check things out.</p><p>The first thing he noticed was that Darius was patrolling outside. The sight of him nearly gave Jonathan (another) heart attack—Lex had said Darius was killed in the attacks on the mansion.</p><p>Fear and anger in equal measure rose in Jonathan's veins—he had no idea what to make of that, and he was starting to find Lex's word to be less and less reliable. He made one more stop—he went to the plant to speak with Lex himself.</p><p>Lex's assistant, a woman in a pants suit, received him at the front office. "I'm here to speak to Lex," Jonathan said.</p><p>"Um." She tapped at her computer. "Mr. Luthor isn't in at the moment. Do you have an appointment?"</p><p>"He's not <em>in? </em>Where is he?"</p><p>She shrugged. "No one knows."</p><p>"Isn't that a bit unusual?"</p><p>"We're all used to it. He disappears a lot during the day. No one seems to know where he goes. When he comes back, he's . . ." She winced. "Weird."</p><p>"Doesn't it bother you?"</p><p>She shrugged. "A paycheck's a paycheck. And he treats us well."</p><p>That part did resonate, which made it difficult to ignore the rest of what she'd said. "Thanks for the information," he said.</p><p>She smiled, and he did hit best to smile back.</p><p>Jonathan couldn't believe he hadn't noticed Lex's refusal to deny the drugs. His son had hidden drugs in his house, then played him for a fool. And he'd thought Lex had come so far . . .</p><p>The edges of Jonathan's vision blurred with anger as he drove back to the house. He busied himself with hard chores for the rest of the day, the ones he usually reserved for Clark. Clark even told him to slow down a few times, but Jonathan ignored the advice.</p><p>Lex called to say he wouldn't be home for dinner, and Jonathan had to resist the urge to reply with <em>Like hell you won't</em>. He remained as pleasant as he could on the phone, but when he almost broke the receiver as he hung up, Martha came over to put a hand on his arm.</p><p>"I've got words for him when he gets home," Jonathan said.</p><p>"Don't make any assumptions yet, sweetheart. There might be an explanation."</p><p>"No, we tried having him explain. He lied."</p><p>"He might not feel ready to come to us with everything yet."</p><p>Jonathan rubbed the back of his neck.</p><p>"How would we deal with this if it was Clark?"</p><p>"I'd—" Jonathan gritted his teeth before saying something he'd regret. His violent tendencies were getting the best of him.</p><p>"You'd handle it firmly. But lovingly. Can you do that tonight? Because I don't think you can. You need time to cool down."</p><p>"I'm <em>fine</em>. I can't leave this."</p><p>"Sweetheart, you've been so stressed, you've been absentmindedly bringing farm tools into the house. There are motorcycle parts in the kitchen and a pile of tangled bits of barbed wire in the upstairs hallway."</p><p>He grumbled under his breath.</p><p>"We're going to sleep on it and talk to him in the morning."</p><p>"That's what we tried yesterday."</p><p>"And this morning's conversation went well."</p><p>Jonathan let out an exasperated groan. "He <em>lied</em> to us!"</p><p>"But we didn't lose our temper with him. He's in the wrong, Jonathan, I know that. But if we're going to help our son, we need to make sure we're coming from a place of love."</p><p>Even though it happened all the time, Jonathan hated it when Martha was right.</p><p>Lex came home late—though, to his credit, before his curfew—and went straight up to bed after a brief hug from each parent. Jonathan resisted the urge to slap his lying mouth—that would have been absolutely devastating—and reached deep into his love for the boy to even manage to hug back.</p><p>Jonathan didn't sleep that night. He tossed, turned, and planned what he was going to say.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Consequences</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"I don't understand, sir. Why do this?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You should know, Darius. It's the same principle I've always applied with you. Never underestimate the power of family."</em>
</p><hr/><p>Jonathan joined Martha at the table for the second morning in a row. This time, Clark was still sleeping rather than out working on chores.</p><p>Martha took deep breaths. She had to be ready to be the rational one in this conversation.</p><p>Lex came down the stairs earlier than she was expecting, in his farm work clothes. "Morning," he said.</p><p>"Morning, sweetheart." Martha rose from the table and came over to hug him. They'd scared him the morning before when she hadn't done that. The relaxed little smile that he wore when she hugged him had never changed in the time she'd known him.</p><p>"I was going to see if I could help you guys get some chores done early, so we can get to the tree lot—"</p><p>"Sit down," Jonathan said.</p><p>Lex's eyes widened, but he sat. "Uh. Is everything okay?"</p><p>"You told me Darius was dead."</p><p>"He's <em>alive?</em>"</p><p>Jonathan nodded.</p><p>Lex ran his palm over his head. "He was in on this whole conspiracy. That's . . . hard to believe."</p><p>"Is it, Lex?" Jonathan's voice rose ever so slightly, and Martha put a hand on his arm. "How about your secretary?"</p><p>"My secretary?"</p><p>"She tells me you're in and out of the office, and no one knows where you go."</p><p>Lex swallowed. "Ah. I'm running some classified projects. I—I'm happy to talk to you about them, but—"</p><p>"Are you lying to me?"</p><p>Lex blinked. "Dad?"</p><p>"I know about the threats you made against the doctor who administered your drug test."</p><p>"Threats?"</p><p>Jonathan's hand slammed on the table, and Lex flinched. "<em>Don't</em> play dumb with me, Alexander!"</p><p>Martha grabbed Jonathan's hand and squeezed hard, keeping her eyes on Lex. "Sweetheart, we're trying to understand why you would lie to us."</p><p>"I . . . I didn't—"</p><p>"Did you not feel safe?"</p><p>Lex's face was still going paler. "I don't know what you've heard, Mom, but believe me—"</p><p>"<em>Believe</em> you," Jonathan said. "After you tried to blackmail that doctor into lying to us about your drug use."</p><p>Lex was silent, his mouth hanging slightly open, eyes desperate.</p><p>"These are illegal substances, son. We're going to go right over to the police station, and you're going to confess—"</p><p>"No. I can't."</p><p>"And why not?"</p><p>"Because—" Lex shook his head. "I employ almost 3000 people. If I get arrested, LexCorp dies. 3000 people lose their jobs. 10000 people move out of Smallville. The economy collapses. Mortgages foreclose, people become homeless. That's on my shoulders. All day, every day. And on top of that, Lionel's after me, and I have to worry about your safety, too . . ."</p><p>Martha closed her eyes. She understood why he would have turned to drugs, though it hurt to think that their support hadn't been enough to inspire him to at least try to seek their help.</p><p>"So, what?" Jonathan said. "You think we should let you be immune to the system because you're powerful?"</p><p>"I didn't say it was fair. But it's how things have to be."</p><p>Martha pressed her lips together—they'd let Clark get away with quite a lot, too, when he'd run off to Metropolis. But they'd enforced their own consequences. "Sweetheart, the six months aren't up yet. That means . . . we have to discipline you for lying to us, and for the drugs."</p><p>"This is a big one, son," Jonathan said firmly.</p><p>"We'll go easier on you if you tell us the truth," Martha said.</p><p>Lex hung his head and rubbed his forehead. "I can't believe this," he muttered under his breath.</p><p>"Go to your room," Jonathan said.</p><p>Lex looked up. "Dad?"</p><p>"<em>GO.</em>"</p><p>Lex jumped out of his chair and hurried toward the stairs.</p><p>"Jonathan," Martha said softly.</p><p>"I was going to do something I'd regret," Jonathan said.</p><p>"Take a few minutes," she whispered. "Breathe. Then we'll talk about how to help our son."</p><p>Jonathan took a deep breath. "Okay, Martha."</p><hr/><p>Jonathan had told Lex to sit in his room. Lex knew he didn't mean to pace outside of it, but he really had no idea what he was going to say when his parents came up to talk to him. He figured having advance knowledge of what they planned to say to him could only help. He busied his hands by carefully trying to untangle a bit of barbed wire he found lying around, and he wracked his brain for what might have happened.</p><p>Somehow, Lionel had managed to manipulate people into speaking against Lex. That was the only explanation he could think of. The question was why Lionel would go to such lengths to frame Lex for that kind of crime. He must have known Lex could worm his way out of any real trouble, which meant the only people whose opinions of him would be affected would be the Kents.</p><p>Martha and Jonathan spoke in hushed voices, and Lex had missed the beginning of their conversation, so the eavesdropping turned out to be mostly futile. He made out a few words here and there, but he couldn't piece together much meaning. He heard Martha gasp at one point and ask, "Don't you think that's harsh?"</p><p>His heart pounded hard in his chest at that, and he pulled a little harder at a knot in the barbed wire.</p><p>When Lex heard footsteps in the stairwell, he scrambled to his feet and reached for his doorknob.</p><p>Jonathan reached him before he could enter the room. His eyebrows raised. "Were you listening in on our conversation?"</p><p>Lex hadn't lied yet, but they were probably still convinced he had. More lies weren't going to do him any good in the long run. It was better to establish that he was willing to be honest. "I didn't hear much."</p><p>Jonathan sighed. "We've never talked about eavesdropping specifically, but—"</p><p>"I know it was wrong. I'm sorry." Lex hadn't really thought about it while he was doing it, but now that he considered it, he was embarrassed by his own lack of respect for the people whose trust he was trying to earn.</p><p>"Okay." He nodded. "You're forgiven. But you're going to muck out the stables on your own tomorrow morning."</p><p>"Fair enough." It was neither harsh nor lenient—enough of a deterrent that he wouldn't eavesdrop again, without being so much that he was angry with Jonathan. It was just.</p><p>Jonathan gestured into the bedroom, and Lex stepped inside and sat on the bed, while his adoptive father sat on a chair across from him.</p><p>There was a long, heavy silence in the room. Lex fidgeted with the wire in his hands. He still hadn't decided how to approach this. He didn't want Martha and Jonathan to believe him blindly, but whoever was setting him up—Lionel, he suspected, because who else would it be?—had been thorough. Lex's hope was that he could clear his name before he got too far into his grounding. The last time had been unpleasant at best.</p><p>Finally, Jonathan straightened up a little. "The one thing I keep asking myself is why."</p><p>Lex squeezed his eyes shut. This conversation would be a completely different type of pain than he usually faced when his adoptive father scolded him. Normally, the guilt ate away at him. Today, it would be the helplessness.</p><p>Well, maybe he could take that. He'd been through worse. He would take the scolding quietly, hold back his tears, accept the punishment, and move on. He'd have to start from scratch in terms of rebuilding their trust, but he couldn't think of anything he could say now that wouldn't make things worse than they already were.</p><p>"I thought . . . I thought you were happy. With us. Are you happy, son?"</p><p>Jonathan wasn't going to give up. Lex was either going to be forced into a confession, or he would have to hold onto his denial. "I'm always happiest here."</p><p>"Do you have any idea how much we love you?"</p><p>"I know, Dad." Lex looked down at the barbed wire in his hand.</p><p>"No, look at me."</p><p>He did, though his father's glare burned.</p><p>"Why did you do this?"</p><p>Looking into Jonathan's eyes hurt more than staring directly at the sun. Lex wanted to close his eyes or look away, but he knew he'd be corrected if he did. He knew giving a false confession would be the easiest thing to do, but when it came down to it, he respected this man too much to lie to him. But he couldn't bring himself to deny it again—to do so would be to insult his intelligence, given everything Jonathan had seen. So Lex remained quiet.</p><p>"<em>WHY?</em>"</p><p>Lex gasped, flinching. He'd never seen Jonathan quite like this.</p><p>"Do you think we're going to kick you out of our family? Is that why you won't talk to me? You know we'd never do that, right?"</p><p>"I know."</p><p>"Then why won't you talk to me?"</p><p>Lex's fist clenched against his will. He really had no idea what to say, and that was rare for him. He wanted to say he was sorry, but even that would sound like a confession.</p><p>
  <em>"This was always going to happen."</em>
</p><p>He hadn't heard from the darkness in a long time. He gritted his teeth.</p><p>
  <em>"What were you expecting, Lex?"</em>
</p><p>Jonathan shook his head. "Okay. You won't talk to me, you won't confess—I don't know what to do with you, Lex. I can't just let this go, but we can't discuss this until you're ready to."</p><p>Lex swallowed. "How long am I grounded?"</p><p>Jonathan took a deep breath. "You're not. The Christmas season starts this week, and there won't be much of a celebration if you're grounded. But . . . well, we were going to go pick up a tree this afternoon."</p><p>His voice caught. "W-we're not?"</p><p>"Clark and I are. I'm sorry, son, but you're going to stay here. We'll see if you're ready to talk when we get back."</p><p>Lex felt the blood drain from his face. For a moment, his vision blurred as his head pounded with anger, and his fist clenched so hard his palm throbbed. He cursed himself for ever having let them know he wanted to go with them, because Jonathan had turned that against him. He had been honest, like they'd wanted him to be, and it had cost him. He hadn't felt so betrayed by them in a long time.</p><p>Then again, he hadn't told his adoptive family <em>why</em> the tree meant so much to him. From Jonathan's point of view, maybe it was simply a loss of privilege, no different from any other grounding. A just consequence, like cleaning out stables for eavesdropping.</p><p>Lex wasn't sure whether he wished he'd been more open about his reasons. This way, he could reason that Jonathan didn't know how harsh he was being. But even if Lex had been truthful, maybe they would have prescribed the same punishment. Of course, it was no use opening up now. They still saw him as a liar—anything he said in protest would just be seen as a way of manipulating them.</p><p>Maybe he could play this a different way. "What about Mom?"</p><p>"She's going to stay home with you. We don't want you to be alone for awhile."</p><p>"That's not fair to her."</p><p>"No, it's not, but we're parents, Lex. We make sacrifices for our kids. And it's not the end of the world for her."</p><p>He shook his head. "I don't want her to miss out. Can you do something else to me?"</p><p>"She and I have already discussed this."</p><p>"It's not fair."</p><p>"You're right. It's not."</p><p>Lex slid to the edge of the bed. Breathing was a struggle. "Please, Dad. For Mom's sake. Pick up the tree next weekend. Give me a week—"</p><p>Jonathan stood suddenly. "TO DO WHAT?"</p><p>Lex turned his face away, cringing.</p><p>Jonathan took a step back. "I'm not gonna hit you! I <em>told</em> you that, you still don't believe me? <em>I </em>don't lie to you, Lex!"</p><p>This was worse than getting hit. He'd <em>rather</em> take a beating. The room swam.</p><p>Jonathan's eyes squeezed shut. "Son . . ." He came over to sit by Lex on the bed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you. I just . . . I wish you would tell me the truth."</p><p>The fact that his father was being kind to him even now burned. He knew he was lucky, on some level, that this was happening. It meant that his family wasn't giving up on him, that they were still dealing with him the way they'd deal with Clark. They would even forgive him.</p><p><em>"THIS time," </em>the darkness said. <em>"They're forgiving you this time."</em></p><p>Lex tried to ignore the voice. "Please, Dad. Give me a week."</p><p>"No, Alexander. You lied to us yesterday. You're getting disciplined now."</p><p>"Dad . . ." Lex made himself look his father in the eyes. "Please. Luthors don't beg, but . . . please."</p><p>Jonathan rubbed his forehead, wincing. Lex could tell his adoptive father was struggling, and he hated the fact that he had caused that.</p><p>Still, it gave rise to a flicker of hope. "It's too much," he whispered.</p><p>Jonathan finally opened his eyes. "So is lying to me." He stood up. "I've made up my mind. We can talk more when I get back."</p><p>Lex was frozen in place. He couldn't speak or move or defend himself.</p><p>In the doorway, Jonathan turned back and said, "Son . . . I love you. You know that, don't you?"</p><p>Lex felt like a part of his chest had been carved away. He couldn't reply.</p><p>Jonathan sighed and stepped out of his room, leaving the door open behind himself, and Lex let his eyes close.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Risk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"But you're his family, sir."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I am. But sometimes, he needs a little reminder of that fact."</em>
</p><hr/><p>Martha kissed Jonathan and hugged Clark good bye as they headed out to pick up the Christmas tree. She was just as happy to stay home—she enjoyed all of their holiday traditions, but she cared about being a good mom more, even if that meant playing the unpleasant role of enforcing boundaries.</p><p>Of course, to her, it was just another Christmas. As much as she loved celebrating it, there would be more to come. To Lex, though, this was his first Christmas in a long time. Martha was worried about the effects the prescribed consequences might have on him. She had never punished Clark blindly—that is, without knowing exactly how the discipline would affect him emotionally. There was always a balance to strike, and it had to be struck carefully. Punishment had to be unpleasant enough to deter from misbehavior, but restorative enough to heal the damage.</p><p>Depriving Lex of this privilege was a shot in the dark. All he had said was that he would enjoy going with them. Jonathan had assumed he was looking forward to it quite a bit, so being forced to stay home would impress upon him how seriously they were treating his dishonesty. But if Lex's interest had been casual, taking away the opportunity was too lenient for lying to them. Meanwhile, if it had really meant a lot to him for more personal reasons, he was going to feel rejected in a way that would weaken him rather than strengthen him.</p><p>Because that was the most important part of parenting both Clark and Lex. Both of them faced impossible choices and circumstances every day. They had to know the difference between right and wrong, they needed to have those boundaries enforced, and the end result of every interaction—every encouragement and lecture, every celebration and punishment—had to strengthen them. At the end of the day, if they didn't know they were loved, and if that love didn't motivate them to be better, she and Jonathan had to make changes.</p><p>But she'd let Jonathan talk her into taking a risk on this particular response to Lex's lies, because it meant she'd have the house to herself with her older son. She never would have consented to take family time away from him for any other reason. His connection to the Kents had started with Clark, of course, but she was the one who had made him part of the family. He was open with her in a different way than he was with either Clark or Jonathan.</p><p>She hadn't heard from Lex since Jonathan had come down after their discussion. A few minutes after they had gone, she climbed the stairs to talk to him. His door was open, and he sat on his bed, elbows resting on his knees</p><p>Martha knocked on the doorjamb. "Sweetie?" She stepped into the room and caught a glimpse of his face.</p><p>Lex didn't look up or respond, but his expression was enough. Their shot in the dark had been too big a risk. He looked a lot like he had that first time she'd looked over and noticed him, in his father's forced embrace, the night she'd first invited him over for dinner. He was shattered.</p><p>She couldn't apologize immediately, though. It was too important to present a united front with Jonathan, and also to maintain consistency. She needed to understand what kind of damage had been done before she could know how to fix it.</p><p>So she didn't say anything, not yet. She simply sat down on the bed beside Lex.</p><p>Lex glanced up, but didn't react much before looking away again.</p><p>She wasn't sure exactly where to start, so she decided to ask an innocuous question first. "What's this?" She gestured to a bit of wire sticking out of his closed fist.</p><p>"Oh. Forgot I had it."</p><p>She took his hand and gently opened it so she could hold it—</p><p>"<em>Ah!</em>" He pulled his hand back.</p><p>"Lex?" she said, then gasped herself.</p><p>Blood dripped from his hand as he pulled the barbs from his palm.</p><p>"Baby, what <em>happened?</em>" She took back his hand—the metal had pierced his skin, leaving behind two deep gashes.</p><p>"I—I didn't realize—"</p><p>"What did you do?"</p><p>"I . . . I don't know . . ."</p><p>Her mind wandered back to the last time she'd watched Jonathan scolding Lex. She'd offered her hand to him, and he'd clung onto it so tightly, she'd had hand cramps for a couple of days. Maybe this time, since she wasn't there to offer her hand, his fist had clenched around whatever he was holding at the time.</p><p>Meanwhile, he was upset enough that he hadn't felt the pain of two quarter-inch-deep gashes in his palm.</p><p>Martha felt all of the breath rush out of her. Either they'd <em>terribly</em> miscalculated in the punishment they'd chosen, or Jonathan had been as cruel with his words as he could possibly be. She stood from the bed. "I'm going to grab a bottle of peroxide. Then we're going to talk."</p><p>"Mom, you don't have to—"</p><p>"That's rusty metal, Lex. When we're done here, you need to call your doctor about a tetanus shot."</p><p>Lex winced.</p><p>Martha went over to the nearest bathroom and picked up a bottle of peroxide and some cotton pads. Then she came back to sit beside him. He sighed and held out his hand, and she apologized quietly before soaking his bleeding palm in peroxide.</p><p>He sucked in his breath through his teeth, then he glanced down at the comforter—a few drops of blood had soaked into the blanket. "Oh. Sorry about that."</p><p>Martha resisted the urge to shake him—after everything, how could he think she'd be more concerned about the comforter than about him? She took a deep breath. "Tell me what the tree means to you."</p><p>"Uh . . . what do you mean?"</p><p>"Don't play dumb with me, young man. You were so upset, you didn't even feel those cuts until I pointed them out. Now, you tell me what the tree means to you."</p><p>Lex sighed. "It's stupid. But . . . when my mother died, Lionel didn't allow Christmas to be celebrated in our house. It was a very bleak, very lonely time for me. Every year, I dreamed about having a Christmas tree again, and every year . . ." His eyes grew shiny.</p><p>Martha's eyes started to sting, and she blinked rapidly, dabbing at his hand with the cotton pad. She had to stay level headed to finish this conversation.</p><p>He shook his head. "I'm sorry, I know it doesn't make any sense. I know there will be other Christmas trees, but I guess I worked up this one in my head. Thinking this one would represent all the Christmases I missed."</p><p>She put down her medical supplies. "Sweetie, why didn't you <em>tell</em> us?"</p><p>"It didn't matter until Dad said I couldn't go. Then I didn't think he'd believe me."</p><p>Martha didn't know what to say. She wanted to tell him that he'd still get to help them decorate the tree, still smell it in the living room for the rest of December, still sit beside it on Christmas morning, and that he could come help them pick a tree next year, and the year after, and for as many years as he wanted to. But it all sounded so trite, even in her mind. He already knew all of that. He was dealing with the emotional part, and it was tearing him apart.</p><p>Despite the disaster that her last risk had been, she took another one. "Come here," she said, holding out her arms.</p><p>He hesitated for a second, but he allowed her to hug him, although his arms hung loosely around her. She rubbed his back until his grip tightened a little, then she let him be the first to let go.</p><p>Martha looked him in the eyes. "Do you know how much we hate punishing you and Clark?"</p><p>"Almost as much as you hate it when we screw up?"</p><p>"More, sweetie. Quite a bit more." She gently placed a hand on the side of his head, thumb stroking his temple. "I need you to be open with your father and me if you ever think we're being unfair."</p><p>Lex swallowed. "I was raised by Lionel. I don't know how to tell if something is fair."</p><p>He had a point, though she made a note in her mind to be much, much more careful about using that word. "Then . . . tell us if something is too much for you to handle."</p><p>"I told Dad. I . . . begged."</p><p>She'd need to talk to Jonathan about that. Begging wasn't normal behavior for Lex. "Okay, then, how about this. If you ever find yourself in trouble with us in the future, we'll give you two options and let you pick. That way, you'll never be forced into something that's too much for you."</p><p>He raised his eyebrows. "Do you give Clark a choice?"</p><p>"We've known Clark since he was a toddler. We've had years to figure out what's fair for him. He's got a bit of an advantage." She squeezed his hand. "I'd like to give you one."</p><p>"Okay. I get it."</p><p>The damage was done this time. Even if Martha were willing to undermine her husband, it was too late; Clark and Jonathan had already left. But Jonathan trusted her to do what was right for her sons. Maybe she could fix this.</p><p>"Well . . . if you haven't celebrated Christmas in awhile . . . when's the last time you made gingerbread cookies?"</p><p>He shrugged. "Never?"</p><p>She stood up. "Call your doctor about that tetanus shot, then come down to the kitchen."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Believe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"That's all for now, Darius. Ah . . . Happy Holidays, I suppose."</em>
</p><hr/><p>Jonathan made himself push aside the thought of everything that had just happened with Lex and enjoy the time with Clark, like he did every year. Clark didn't seem to realize anything had happened with Lex. He smiled and laughed and enjoyed the time with his dad.</p><p>On the drive back from the lot, Clark finally approached the subject. "Lex came home late last night."</p><p>Jonathan didn't say anything. He wasn't sure what to say.</p><p>"He seemed stressed. Is he okay?"</p><p>Jonathan sighed. Clark would find out sooner or later, anyway. "We found drugs in his closet."</p><p>Clark's jaw dropped. "You think he was doing drugs?"</p><p>"Looks like it. But he lied to us about it."</p><p>"I know Lex. He's not perfect, but he wouldn't do . . . that."</p><p>"I thought so, too, son," Jonathan said softly.</p><p>Clark frowned. "Don't do anything yet. I'm going to prove he's innocent."</p><p>Jonathan tried not to wince.</p><p>They reached the house, and Clark carried the tree in through the front door. The smell of gingerbread filled the house, and Jonathan could hear chatter and laughter coming from the kitchen. Martha and Lex were baking cookies.</p><p>Jonathan frowned—he was torn about how to feel about it. On the one hand, the mere fact that Lex had been doing drugs meant he needed help, and good, quality time with his mother would help to restore him; on the other hand, his staying home was supposed to be a punishment for lying, and she was making it into more of a reward.</p><p>Martha hurried over to Jonathan, guiding him up the stairs. "We need to talk," she whispered.</p><p>Jonathan swallowed hard—that probably meant he was in worse trouble than Lex was.</p><p>They stopped just inside the door of their bedroom. Martha crossed her arms. "When you talked to our son, did you notice him gripping onto a piece of barbed wire so hard that he was <em>bleeding?</em>"</p><p>Jonathan's heart sank. "Ah . . ."</p><p>"And did he <em>beg </em>you to reconsider?"</p><p>"Well . . . yes . . ."</p><p>"Jonathan! That's not normal for him!"</p><p>"Honey, he'd been lying to us. I thought he was trying to manipulate me."</p><p>She raised her eyebrows. "Lionel hasn't let him have a Christmas tree since Lillian died. He worked up this one in his mind, as the one that would make up for all the Christmases he missed."</p><p>Jonathan felt like he'd just been kicked in the stomach by a horse. "<em>Oh</em> . . . oh, no . . ."</p><p>"Did you not <em>see</em> the look on his face?"</p><p>"Ah, well, he looked sad."</p><p>"<em>Sad? </em>He looked absolutely devastated to me."</p><p>"Well, really sad. But he <em>lied!</em>"</p><p>"What happened in there?"</p><p>Jonathan swallowed hard. "I tried to get him to confess. Reminded him how much we love him. Then he still wouldn't confess, so I told him he had to stay home. He said it wasn't fair for you, asked me to wait until next week to pick up the tree, and . . . I guess I got pretty angry."</p><p>"You—you didn't—"</p><p>"<em>No</em>. I yelled at him, that's all. I might have been too hard, I don't know . . ."</p><p>"Well, did you handle it how you would if it had been Clark?"</p><p>"I don't know, Martha, Clark would never <em>do</em> this!"</p><p>Martha's eyes widened. "And Lex would?"</p><p>Jonathan groaned. "That's not—"</p><p>"Is that what this was about?" Martha asked.</p><p>"No, I—"</p><p>"Is this about the fact that he's a Luthor? Are we back to that again?"</p><p>"<em>No</em>. I swear, Martha. I love that boy, you know that."</p><p>"And if Clark did do this?"</p><p>"I would have been hard on him, too. Maybe even harder than I was on Lex. I don't know, I never expected to have to deal with this. Lex is usually pretty open about his mistakes, but . . . we both know he's got some issues. He was flinching when I was yelling at him, like he thought I was gonna . . ." Jonathan let his head fall. He was most <em>definitely</em> in more trouble than his son.</p><p>Martha shook her head, beginning to pace. "Jonathan . . . this whole thing doesn't add up in my mind. Yesterday morning, when Lex saw us sitting at the table, his first thought was to ask if Clark was okay. I know what the evidence says, but . . . his body language doesn't match. I don't know if he's responsible for the drugs."</p><p>"He's never denied it directly."</p><p>"Well, maybe he doesn't think we'd believe him."</p><p>Jonathan rubbed his brow. "What do I do?"</p><p>"Go do the one thing you won't regret, the one thing you teach them to do. Go see the best in your son."</p><p>Jonathan stared deep into her eyes for a moment, then he nodded. "Okay, Martha. I will."</p><p>Her expression hardened again. "Also, if he has any nightmares because of this . . ."</p><p>"I'm taking first shift."</p><p>"No, you're taking <em>every</em> shift."</p><p>He let out his breath. "Fair enough," he said.</p><hr/><p>Lex's hands trembled as he rolled out the next batch of cookie dough on the counter. His eyes kept wandering over to the staircase, where his parents had walked.</p><p>Clark came over to stand beside Lex at the counter. He didn't usually do much baking, but he liked eating the raw cookie dough. He picked up a spoon and scraped at the bowl.</p><p>"Have a good time at the lot?" Lex asked.</p><p>"Yeah!" Clark frowned. "Wait, didn't you say you wanted to come with us?"</p><p>Lex blinked back tears, and Clark's eyes widened.</p><p>"<em>Oh</em>. But . . . that's not fair! Those drugs weren't yours, were they?"</p><p>"What do you think, Clark?"</p><p>Clark nodded. "Need help proving you're innocent?"</p><p>"I could use your help. We'll have to be careful, though—I have a feeling this is Lionel's doing."</p><p>"Lionel? Why would he try to set you up like that?"</p><p>"I don't know. But I think I preferred it when he was sending hitmen after me."</p><p>"Lex?" Jonathan called from the stairwell. "Come speak to me in your room, please."</p><p>Lex swallowed hard. He didn't know how much more punishment he could take, and despite all of his parents' promises, he couldn't stop himself from worrying that this might be the end of his place in their family, if he didn't lie and confess soon. He looked back at Clark, gave him a look that said <em>Wish me luck</em>—Clark gave him a slight smile and a quick pat on the shoulder—then Lex followed his adoptive father up the stairs.</p><p>This time, Jonathan didn't wait for Lex to sit when they arrived in his room. "Your mother told me about what the tree meant to you."</p><p>Lex felt his face burn with humiliation. "Oh."</p><p>"I never would have taken that away from you if I had known."</p><p>That was the last thing Lex was expecting to hear. "Even if I deserved it?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>Lex had no idea what to make of that.</p><p>Jonathan took a deep breath. "Do you think you did deserve it?"</p><p>Lex didn't know how to respond to that, either. He'd never thought he deserved to be a part of their family in the first place.</p><p>"Son, I want you to tell me if those drugs were yours."</p><p>Lex's jaw pulsed. "It doesn't matter anymore, does it?"</p><p>"I asked you a question."</p><p>"I hated being drugged. Why would I do it to myself?"</p><p>"<em>Son</em>." Jonathan's voice was firmer than ever. "You're still avoiding the question."</p><p>Lex looked away.</p><p>"What do you think is going to happen if you tell me the truth?"</p><p>Lex shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He just didn't know how to handle this. He knew how to get out of trouble when he was guilty, but avoiding it when he was innocent was so different. He also usually battled against people who he didn't have to worry about taking down. But this was harder. This was a relationship that needed to be restored.</p><p>Lex cleared his throat. "I'm sorry . . ." And then he couldn't think of anything else to say.</p><p>"Do you think I'm going to hurt you? Do you think I'll stop loving you?"</p><p>"No . . . I want to be honest with you, but . . ." It felt like an indignity to make a claim that wouldn't possibly be believed. That <em>shouldn't</em> be believed, since all evidence pointed to the contrary.</p><p>Jonathan stepped forward and put a warm hand on the back of Lex's neck. "How about this. You know you're not getting kicked out of our family. You know I'm never going to hit you. And I'll make you another promise. For the rest of December, we'll celebrate Christmas as a family, no matter what you say. If you tell me you did it, we'll deal with it—but not until the new year comes. And even then, if I have to punish you, I'll hear you out if you think I'm being too harsh."</p><p>"And if I tell you I didn't do it?"</p><p>"Then I'll believe you."</p><p>Lex shook his head. "I don't want you to believe me. I want to prove it to you."</p><p>Jonathan took his hand away. "What do you mean, Lex?"</p><p>He began to pace. "I think someone's setting me up. I suspect Lionel is involved somehow. But all of the evidence you have says I'm guilty, and . . . you're not stupid. I don't want you to take my word for it that I'm innocent. I don't want—"</p><p>"Enough." Jonathan reached out and squeezed his arm. "I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me whether you did it or not."</p><p>Direct confession or denial went against everything Lex had ever learned. But he would do it for his family. "No, I didn't. I have no idea where the drugs came from. I'd never seen them before yesterday morning, when you showed them to me."</p><p>Jonathan nodded. "Okay. I believe you."</p><p>Something gave way in Lex's chest, and his eyes stung. "<em>Why?</em>"</p><p>"Because you're telling me the truth."</p><p>"But . . . how . . ."</p><p>"I'm sure you're a good liar, son, but you're not as good as you think you are."</p><p>Lex nodded slowly as his throat choked.</p><p>"Besides. You're my son. I'd rather be a fool because I believed you, than to have you think I turned my back on you."</p><p>Lex swallowed against the tightness in his throat. He couldn't imagine Lionel ever having said something like that to him.</p><p>"Can I see your hand?"</p><p>"Ah . . . there's nothing to see." He held out his hand, palm up, but Martha had made him wrap it up in bandages before baking. The blood was beginning to soak through.</p><p>Jonathan gently took his hand and looked it over. "Oh, my son. I'm so sorry." He stepped forward and pulled Lex into a hard hug.</p><p>It felt like that first hug, when Lex had first returned from the island. Lex's eyes burned. "It's okay," he said.</p><p>"No, no," Jonathan said softly, tightening his hold. "I should have believed you. I shouldn't have punished you. And even if you'd done it, I shouldn't have punished you like that."</p><p>The pain and fear of the past few hours overcame him. A couple of tears escaped, along with a couple of quiet sobs. If that weren't embarrassing enough, Jonathan firmed his grip yet again and shifted one hand up to rub between Lex's shoulder blades.</p><p>"Sh, sh," Jonathan whispered. "I believe you, I love you. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."</p><p>Lex took deep breaths until he was ready to let go.</p><p>His adoptive father looked him in the eyes. "How can I make it up to you, Lex?"</p><p>Lex wanted to tell him he already had, a thousand times over, but it was clear Jonathan wanted to do something for him. The trouble was, there was nothing Lex wanted from him that he didn't already have. So he said, "Easy chores for a few days?"</p><p>Jonathan laughed. "You got it."</p><p>"Thanks, Dad." Lex smiled, but to his increasing mortification, his eyes filled with tears again. He groaned and wiped them away. "Sorry."</p><p>"For what?"</p><p>"I feel like I cry all the time nowadays."</p><p>Jonathan frowned. "What's wrong with crying?"</p><p>"Ah . . . you'd just think that after everything I've been through, I'd be stronger than that."</p><p>"Son, look at me."</p><p>Lex did, after a half second's hesitation—he wasn't sure if he could take a lecture.</p><p>"Who's the strongest person you know?"</p><p>"You?"</p><p>Jonathan let out a short laugh. "Try again."</p><p>Lex thought for a moment, then said, "Mom."</p><p>"She's the strongest person I know, too. And I don't think that woman's gone a month without crying since I met her. When you and Clark were away, she didn't go a day without tears."</p><p>Lex nodded, sniffing. He couldn't accept that easily, but he could try.</p><p>"So . . ." Jonathan rubbed the back of his neck. "About the tree lot."</p><p>"It's okay, Dad. It's not like this is going to be my last Christmas with you, right?"</p><p>"Of course not. And, uh . . . the tree still needs to be decorated."</p><p>Lex smiled. "Need a hand?"</p><p>His dad nodded. "Yes we do."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Christmas</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it! :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"I'm assuming he's back at the mansion by now."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Uh, no, sir. He drops by, but he's not living here."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>" . . . Really."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Is that a problem?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No, no. Just, uh . . . No. I should have expected this."</em>
</p><hr/><p>The rest of the season was everything Lex had wanted a Christmas season to be.</p><p>The "easy chores" Jonathan had promised Lex mostly consisted of baking for neighbors and friends and helping put up decorations. Jonathan gave Lex a strict budget of 50 dollars for Christmas shopping, holding firm despite quite a bit of argument, but Lex found some workarounds. One loophole he found was the fact that Jonathan didn't give <em>Clark</em> a budget, so Lex snuck him some cash, on the condition that he didn't tell his parents and didn't spend it on Lex, then drove him out to Metropolis one Saturday to shop for jewelry for his mom and tools for his dad.</p><p>With the exception of the plant security team, to whom he brought gift baskets, Lex gave his employees extra time off to use as they wished—they'd been working incredibly hard, and he could afford to give it to them. That slowed down operations, which lightened his workload, too, giving him more time to focus on his family and on helping Lana with the Talon.</p><p>Lex had slept late on Christmas morning every year for as long as he could remember. If he could, he usually tried to sleep until at least noon, so that he would completely miss Christmas morning. Even the year before, he hadn't seen anyone on Christmas. He was still finding his place in the Kent family at that point, and he had visited them on Christmas Eve, but not on Christmas day.</p><p>The 9AM knock on his door came as a surprise.</p><p>He rolled over onto his back and sat up, rubbing his eyes. "Come in."</p><p>Clark peeked into the room in pajamas. "Who sleeps in on Christmas?"</p><p>"It's nine in the morning."</p><p>"Yeah. We waited for you for awhile, but you took forever. Your presents are the only ones left."</p><p>"The ones I got you?"</p><p>"Yeah, and the ones we got you."</p><p>Lex blinked. "You got <em>me</em> presents?" They'd been bringing him a tin of cookies at Christmas time and cake on his birthday for the past couple of years, but that wasn't the same thing. He hadn't exactly thought to check the tags on the gifts under the tree.</p><p>Clark gave Lex a look like he was crazy. "Of course we got you presents. You didn't even look?"</p><p>Lex pushed his covers aside and followed Clark down to the living room. Their parents sat on the couch, Jonathan's arm around Martha. They were both in pajamas. The floor was covered in shreds of wrapping paper. Light shone in from the windows, but the Christmas tree was lit up as well.</p><p>Jonathan looked up at Lex as he entered. "Good afternoon, sleepyhead."</p><p>"Merry Christmas, sweetie." Martha stood up to hug him. Clark went over to sit by the tree. There were still six wrapped gifts. The biggest one was still there, and now Lex glanced at the tag. It was addressed to him and signed <em>Mom</em>.</p><p>Lex stood awkwardly as his mom returned to the couch, until Clark said, "Come here," and gestured to the floor.</p><p>He lowered himself to the carpet, sitting beside Clark.</p><p>Clark handed him a package. "Uh, I didn't really have money this year, other than . . . um, so it's not exactly . . . a <em>real</em> present . . . but I hope you like it."</p><p>Lex searched the edges of the crumpled wrapping paper for the tape, then carefully peeled it up from the paper.</p><p>Clark groaned. "Jeez, Lex, just rip it!"</p><p>Lex chuckled and ripped through the paper. It was a rough frame—it looked like Clark had probably made it in wood shop class—and at first, Lex didn't know what he was looking at. Then he recognized the paper that had been framed. It looked like the same family tree assignment that Clark had drawn cave symbols on, except that there were no cave symbols on this one—it was the Kent family tree. There was a big red <em>F</em> at the top of the page, and a note written in red at the bottom: <em>This assignment was not a joke, Clark.</em></p><p>The note was beside a name that the teacher had circled. Lex's name. Clark had written him onto the family tree as his brother.</p><p>Lex swallowed against the tightness in his throat. That assignment had taken place while Lex and the Kents were still fighting. He didn't know Clark considered him a brother even then. "You failed an assignment for putting me down as your brother?"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"And you made a <em>frame</em> for it?"</p><p>"Um." Clark's face turned pink. "Yeah."</p><p>Lex burst out laughing and threw his arms around Clark. "Thanks, little brother. Best present ever."</p><p>"You're welcome. I guess."</p><p>When Lex let go, Martha said, "The biggest one is from me."</p><p>He had learned from the first one—he tore through the wrapping and opened the cardboard box to find a soft quilt with intricate, geometric patterns of black and shades of purple. "Did—did you make this?"</p><p>"Oh! No. My grandmother. It's been in our house for awhile, probably smells like our house. I thought . . . well, if you wanted to, you could take it to the mansion, so you always have a piece of our home with you."</p><p>Lex gently ran his hand over the fabric. "I can't take this from you."</p><p>"Take it, son," Jonathan said, "that woman made more quilts than we know what to do with."</p><p>Lex laughed again, and went over to sit beside Martha. He hesitated, but finally kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks, Mom."</p><p>She pulled him into a soft hug, cradling the back of his head with one hand. "My sweet boy," she said softly.</p><p>Jonathan stood from the couch and squatted in front of the tree, picking up a small gift bag. He handed it to Lex. "This might take some explanation."</p><p>Lex pulled out the tissue paper and stared, puzzled, at the contents of the bag. It was a paintbrush and a few paint chips.</p><p>"It's for the guest room," Jonathan said. "Ah . . . I'm not necessarily expecting you to do the painting, but since it's your space now, I thought you might like to choose a color."</p><p>"<em>Really?</em>"</p><p>"If you'd like. And, um, you're not limited to those paint chips, they're just to get you thinking."</p><p>Lex grinned. He didn't really want to change the room, or anything in their house, but he also knew the gift was highly symbolic. He'd treasure that paintbrush for years to come—it was too precious to use. "Thanks, Dad. I'll take some time to think about it."</p><p>"Good." Jonathan squatted down beside the tree once again, looking at the labels. He picked up a gift bag. "This is for me?"</p><p>"Yeah," Lex said.</p><p>"You kept in mind what we talked about? I'm not going to have to get upset with you on Christmas?"</p><p>Lex shrugged. "I kept to your stupid budget."</p><p>Jonathan gave Lex a suspicious look and opened the bag. He glanced inside, then glared at Lex. "You can't get season football tickets for a whole family for under fifty dollars."</p><p>"<em>You</em> can't. But Lionel owns the team. I can get season tickets for free, for anyone I want."</p><p>"Lex—"</p><p>"I followed your rule, Dad."</p><p>A soft snort sounded beside him. Lex glanced over—Clark was trying not to laugh.</p><p>Jonathan narrowed his eyes at Clark, then he looked back up at Lex. "Okay," he said.</p><p>Lex smiled. "Can you grab the one for Mom?"</p><p>Jonathan picked up the gift bag and handed it to Martha. She opened it and pulled out a lanyard and badge. "What's this?"</p><p>"It's a security card. Gets you into the plant."</p><p>"Oh! Um—"</p><p>"You don't have to answer this right away. And either way, I want you to have the security access, in case anything ever happens to me. But . . . awhile back, when you took that job working for my father, you mentioned wanting more of a challenge and a chance to use your education. So . . . this is just me letting you know that there's a job open for you at LexCorp if you ever want one."</p><p>Her eyebrows raised.</p><p>"Not working directly under me," he said quickly. "Actually, you'd be in more of a management and advisory position. You'd be overseeing the operations for an independent research and development team, and you'd report to the board, not to me. The salary would be enough that you could hire a part time farm hand, if you needed one."</p><p>"Wow. That sounds—" She caught Jonathan's eye. "I mean, I'll have to think about it. But thank you, sweetie, this means a lot to me."</p><p>Jonathan raised his eyebrows. "Son . . ."</p><p>"It's not even a real present. And it's quite a bit under budget, if you consider what I'm getting out of it. Even I could never afford to pay her what she's worth."</p><p>Jonathan grunted and sat down on the couch beside Martha.</p><p>Lex turned to Clark. "Last one's for you."</p><p>Clark smiled and ripped open the last package, but he frowned when he saw the two X-box games. "I don't have an X-box."</p><p>"I know, but I do."</p><p>"Since when?"</p><p>"Since last week. I bought one for myself so you could play it. It's at the mansion, you can use it whenever you want."</p><p>"No way! Thank you!"</p><p>"Lex," Jonathan warned.</p><p>Lex smirked. "You didn't give me a budget for how much I could spent on <em>myself</em>, Dad."</p><p>"Okay, but—"</p><p>"And I knew you wouldn't allow a game console in the house."</p><p>"That's true—"</p><p>"Those were discounted games, twenty dollars each. I followed your rules."</p><p>"<em>Lex.</em>"</p><p>Lex sighed. "Yeah, yeah, you're all getting scarves next year."</p><p>Jonathan came over to Lex, pulled him to his feet, then wrapped his arms around him. "Thank you, son. For everything."</p><p>Lex's throat choked up with euphoria. He couldn't remember ever having been so happy in his life.</p><p>Jonathan clapped his back and let go with one arm, holding out the other, and Martha and Clark joined the hug. Lex had never been a part of anything quite like it. The four of them stood that way for a few moments before Clark was the first to let go.</p><p>"Okay, that's enough mushy stuff. I'm starving." He took off for the kitchen.</p><p>Jonathan and Martha both chuckled, and Lex found himself smiling along.</p><p>"Breakfast?" Martha asked him. "We do cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning."</p><p>Lex grinned. "That sounds great."</p><p>
  <em>End of part 1</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Boxing Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lex had hardly been back at the mansion since the day he was shot at. The day after Christmas, though, he decided to take the risk of spending a bit of time over there. It was boxing day, and the Kents were clearing out some of their old things from the house and from the barn. Lex offered to help without really expecting him to take him up on it—he hadn't been a part of their household for very long, and he really wasn't going to be able to help them cleaning out.</p><p>So he decided to do some clean-up of his own at the mansion. There had been no attacks or attempts to sabotage him since the drugs were left in his room at the Kents' house. Lex was under no illusion that he was safe, but he wasn't going to be able to stay away from the mansion forever, and it had been awhile since <em>he</em> had taken any steps to fight against Lionel. Jonathan told him to keep a gun on him, just in case, and not to eat or drink anything while he was there.</p><p>Lex took the precautions his adoptive father asked him to take, and he tried not to think too much about the dangers, instead focusing his mind on the cleanup. Seeing how happy the Kents were, living with so little, made him want to sell everything he owned and give it away to people who needed it more than he did. But that wasn't really something he could do easily. His wealth came with a certain power, and right now, he was using that power to protect his employees and himself. He wouldn't give away everything, then—but he might purge a few million dollars' worth of garbage that was just gathering dust. He was pretty sure he could spread out the funds enough not to raise suspicion, and he could find ways to donate anonymously.</p><p>Lex carried a cardboard box into his study and opened it once he was at his desk. He picked up the geometric quilt his mom had given him and gently ran his hand over the soft fabric, then breathed in its scent—it really did smell like the Kent house, sweet and savory with a hint of grass and hay, along with the indescribable smell that somehow both Clark and Jonathan shared despite not being related by blood. He ran his fingers over the bristles of the paintbrush from his dad, and chuckled again at the framed assignment from his brother. He wasn't sure exactly what he was going to do with them, but they were still precious.</p><p>The back of his neck prickled. Lex whirled around.</p><p>Lionel stood in the doorway to the study, hands behind his back.</p><p>Lex swallowed hard. He hadn't seen Lionel since the day he'd been slapped, drunk himself to unconsciousness, missed curfew, and ended up getting grounded. "Season's greetings," Lex said dryly.</p><p>Lionel smirked. "Same to you. Though we're a day late."</p><p>"What are you doing here?" Lex was so, so tired of these games.</p><p>"I could ask you the same thing."</p><p>"I live here."</p><p>"Oh, do you now?"</p><p>A chill passed over Lex's limbs. He'd let some major things slip about his relationship with the Kents the last time he'd seen Lionel, but he still didn't want Lionel to know any more than he needed to about how close they all were. "I come in late sometimes."</p><p>"Where did you sleep last night?"</p><p>"In my own bed."</p><p>"Funny. That's where I slept."</p><p>Lex suppressed a shudder. There was no use playing this game as though he could keep secrets. "I don't see that it concerns you where I spend my time."</p><p>"The Kents weaken you."</p><p>"No, they don't." In some strange way, despite being more vulnerable and having cried more in the past year than in the decade that preceded it, Lex was stronger now than he'd been in a long time.</p><p>"You've lost your edge, Lex."</p><p>"I haven't lost anything."</p><p>"Your numbers are down."</p><p>"Those numbers are classified. And they'll come back up." Admittedly, the holiday benefits he'd given his employees had cost something, but in the past, Lex had always seen a dip in production around this time that carried into the new year. He found that giving people the space to rest could mean an increase in production on their return—an overall gain—and he hoped that would apply to this season as well. But Lex didn't need to explain all of that. If there was one thing he'd learned from his verbal sparring with his biological father, it was not to show his hand unless the opponent had already seen it. "What do you want?"</p><p>"Only the very best for my son."</p><p>"Touching. Now what do you really want?"</p><p>"Exactly what I said." Lionel took a hand out from behind his back. He held a small wrapped gift package.</p><p>Lex stiffened his jaw and looked up into Lionel's face. "What's this?"</p><p>"Your Christmas present. A little late, I'm afraid, but . . . well, open it."</p><p>Lex pulled back the tape on the wrapping paper, careful not to rip it. Inside was a black box, with a silver key inside. He sighed. "What's this?"</p><p>"The key to your new office in Metropolis."</p><p>"I have my own company." Lex held out the box.</p><p>Lionel didn't take it. "I'm proposing a merger. This is your destiny, Lex."</p><p>"I'm forging my own destiny. Away from you."</p><p>"In <em>Smallville</em>, Lex?" Lionel laughed aloud. "Be truthful with yourself. If your new pretend family weren't here, would you give this place a second look?"</p><p>Lex didn't know the honest answer to that—not that it mattered—but he also didn't know how to respond. He was waiting for the threats.</p><p>It didn't take long. Lionel paced over to Lex's decanter and poured himself a drink. "I really do want the best for you, Lex. I don't take kindly to people who weaken my son."</p><p>Lex's heart pounded harder than he could ever remember. "If you hurt them, I'll—"</p><p>"Oh, no, no no. I wouldn't dream of it. See, you've got it in your mind that you're some great protector. A hero of sorts. You throw yourself in harm's way every time someone tries to threaten someone you care about. That's the danger of sentiment, Lex, haven't I always taught you?" Lionel paced, sipping at the liquor. "But you've forgotten my teaching. So I'm proposing some . . . review sessions, shall we say. In Metropolis."</p><p>Lex knew exactly what Jonathan would say about that. "I appreciate for the offer, but I'm not in need of any refreshers. Shut the door on your way out."</p><p>"Ah, you misunderstand me, Lex. This is not a request."</p><p>"Back to threats then, already?" Lex raised his eyebrows and set the box with the key down on his desk. "Didn't you just acknowledge I'd never let you hurt the Kents?"</p><p>"Yes, but that doesn't mean I won't hurt you."</p><p>Lex blinked a couple of times. Lionel didn't usually threaten so directly.</p><p>"You remember the incident with the cocaine?" He smirked. "You defy me now, and that will have been the <em>least</em> of your concerns."</p><p>Lex's mouth felt dry, and he froze. Lionel didn't have to spell it out—the implication was clear. Lex and the Kents had gotten through the accusations involving the cocaine, but only just, and there had been quite a lot of pain along the way. And not just for Lex. Jonathan had struggled, and Martha had hurt terribly. They'd felt betrayed and deceived, and even in the end, they'd had to forego the evidence of their own eyes in favor of what Lex was telling them. Lex knew firsthand how damaging that could be to someone if it happened enough. How many times would they believe him before they couldn't anymore?</p><p>Worse, if they <em>did</em> choose to believe him unconditionally, how long before Lex himself started taking advantage of his immunity?</p><p>Lionel smirked. "I see that we understand each other. I'll, ah, give you a little time to get your affairs in order. I'll meet you back here . . . let's say tomorrow, same time?"</p><p>"You bastard," Lex muttered under his breath.</p><p>There was nothing Lex could do. The fight had shifted—he was the one with everything to lose.</p><p>Of course, if he <em>did</em> follow Lionel out to Metropolis, he could take the fight to him directly. Catch him at a weak moment, collect evidence from the inside. Again, he knew exactly what Jonathan would say about it.</p><p>Lex straightened up. His new parents had a way of using the truth as powerfully as Lionel used lies; maybe Lex could do the same thing. "They won't go for it, you know."</p><p>Lionel's eyebrows raised. "Who, the Kents?"</p><p>"I've earned their trust. Even you know, that's a valuable thing."</p><p>"I'm not asking you to break their trust."</p><p>"Yes, you are." Lex took a step toward Lionel—he could feel himself regaining control over the situation. "They wouldn't want me to move out to work with you. They'd never consent to it, which means I'd have to carry it out against their wishes."</p><p>"You're not a child."</p><p>"And yet you think you can make demands of me as if I were."</p><p>"And what do the Kents do?"</p><p>Lex shook his head. "They want the same thing you want. They want what's best for me. If I go against them and run away, they will come after me."</p><p>Lionel let out a short laugh. "I must say, you're quite immersed in your game of house."</p><p>It wasn't a game—that was the thing Lex loved the most about the Kents—but Lionel wouldn't understand any other terms. "It's a good game, and I don't like to lose. The Kents are an interesting family. I've learned some things from them."</p><p>Lionel's nostrils flared. "Son, I am not leaving you to be weakened by the likes of the Kents. Haven't I always told you? You have a destiny."</p><p>Lex took a deep breath. "Then remind me what that is."</p><p>"Come to Metropolis and I will."</p><p>"I'll consent to your refresher course in what it means to be a Luthor. But I'm not giving up the plant, and I won't merge with you. I'll come to Metropolis once a week."</p><p>"Once a week?" Lionel's eyes flashed. "And the rest of the time—"</p><p>"I'll go on dividing my time between the Kents' and the mansion." Lex didn't feel the need to give any more detail than that.</p><p>"This is about Clark, isn't it? There's something . . . peculiar about him."</p><p>"I don't know anything about that." Lex knew Lionel would see straight through the semi-lie, but it was a calculated gamble. Lionel already suspected there was something peculiar about Clark; Lex's confirmation wouldn't do much damage. But if Lionel really thought Lex's friendship with the Kents was a selfish endeavor, from which Lionel might benefit, he might leave well enough alone. Lex couldn't always tell when Lionel was lying, but he was pretty sure he was telling the truth about not wanting the Kents to weaken Lex.</p><p>There was a long pause, then Lionel nodded. "Well then. I'll see you on Monday. I expect you in my office at eight in the morning."</p><p>That gave Lex the weekend to convince his parents of what he needed to do.</p><p>Lying to them would be so easy. He'd let them know he was going to leave early and come home late on Mondays, and they would probably never question him. They'd never have to fight about whether this was the right move in his fight; Clark wouldn't try to get involved; they wouldn't worry about him.</p><p>But he'd too recently been punished for lying—of course, he'd been telling the truth, but he didn't really want to ever experience the kind of distance lies brought about. He couldn't take the disappointment in Jonathan's eyes. The Kents had promised not to lie to him; he would do the same for them.</p><p>His dad was going to freak out.</p>
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<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Discussion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lex tried to focus on cleaning out the mansion, but his mind raced with the knowledge of everything he was going to have to say to his parents. He kept looking through items without actually seeing them, and he couldn't figure out what to keep and what to sell, so he gave up after a few hours. He'd have to save his donations for another day. He went to the study, poured himself a drink, and gave himself some time to think things over.</p><p>An hour before dinner time, Lex went down to the parking garage, picked his cheapest car like he always did to go to the farm, and started to drive away from the mansion.</p><p>Clark was waiting for him just outside the front gate, standing in the middle of the road.</p><p>Lex pulled over and unlocked the door for him. "Jeez, Clark, did you walk here?"</p><p>Clark slid into the passenger's seat. "I've been here for most of the day. I was worried about you. I saw Lionel leave—what did he want?"</p><p>"Clark, you didn't have to stand guard."</p><p>"Last time you spent more than an hour at the mansion, you got shot at. I wanted to be close, just in case."</p><p>Lex realized it was going to be awhile before Clark could actually make use of the X-box he'd bought. It was a minuscule concern amidst everything else, but he still felt bad. "I'm not sure you'd be able to do anything to help, Clark."</p><p>"What happened?"</p><p>"Not much. I tried to do some cleaning, but, well, you saw—Lionel came by. We argued, and I had to compromise. I have to spend every Monday at his office in Metropolis for the foreseeable future."</p><p>Clark frowned. "Dad's not gonna like that."</p><p>"You think I haven't thought about that? There was nothing I could do."</p><p>"You could have refused."</p><p>"He would have hurt you." Lex figured he himself was actually the one in more danger, but his sentiment was still honest—he really was more concerned about the Kents.</p><p>"Lex . . ." Clark shifted to face toward him. "<em>Please</em> let me tell you my secrets."</p><p>Lex struggled again with his own curiosity. "It's not safe, Clark. Especially now that I have to spend more time around Lionel."</p><p>"But you need to know."</p><p>Lex looked him right in the eyes. "The day that becomes true, I'll sit and listen to every one of them. You have my word."</p><p>"But—"</p><p>"If you told me your secrets right now, would it fix everything? Would it be enough that I could send Lionel off to prison straightaway, or keep me from having to relive my childhood with him once a week?"</p><p>"No, but—"</p><p>"Then I don't need to know. And—" Lex groaned— "we shouldn't be talking about this here. The car might be bugged."</p><p>"It's not. I checked."</p><p>Lex raised his eyebrows. "You <em>checked?</em>"</p><p>"Yeah. You want to know how?"</p><p>"What, do you have some kind of magnetism?" Lex knew Lana had run into a meteor rock mutant who had some kind of magnetic powers. That whole experience had really shaken her. It really didn't explain any of what Lex had seen Clark do, though.</p><p>"No, nothing like that."</p><p>"Don't tell me any more." Lex looked down at the steering wheel, then back up at Clark. "You can always find bugs? No matter how well they're hidden?"</p><p>"Yeah, pretty much."</p><p>"Is your house bugged?"</p><p>"Uh, I can check there, too." Clark rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess I should have done that a long time ago . . ."</p><p>Lex's throat felt dry. "Do you ever talk about your secrets in the house?"</p><p>"Not since you've been living with us."</p><p>"Good." Lex let his breath out. "Think you can clear away the bugs as soon as we get back home?"</p><p>"I'll destroy every last one."</p><p>Lex nodded. That would have to be good enough. He started the car back up again, and they headed home.</p><hr/><p>Lex didn't bring up Lionel's visit at the dinner table; he wanted to make absolutely certain that Clark had time to clear away any bugs before he spoke openly. He waited until after dinner was done and the evening chores were complete. Martha called it an early night, gave them each a hug, and headed up to bed, while Jonathan went to sit on the couch. Clark pulled Lex aside for a moment to pour a little pile of thoroughly smashed electronics into his open palm. Lex gave Clark a half smile and dumped the remains into the trash.</p><p>Lex had considered whether it might be better to talk to Martha first about his new commitment. She would definitely be more calm and rational about the whole thing, but that would leave calming down Jonathan to her, and Lex didn't want to put her in that position. He could deal with this on his own.</p><p>Jonathan picked up the remote, but put it down before hitting the power button when Lex came to sit on the chair beside the couch. "Something on your mind, son?"</p><p>Lex let himself smile. His dad knew him well, and Lex's well-practiced poker face was useless in the Kent home. "I, ah, didn't get much cleaning done today."</p><p>"Sorry to hear it. What's up?"</p><p>Lex had wanted to see if he could bring up the subject delicately, but in that moment, he decided to just rip off the band-aid. "Lionel was at the mansion today."</p><p>Jonathan stiffened. "And?"</p><p>"He threatened me. Used you to threaten me, actually."</p><p>"What exactly did he say?"</p><p>"It was more what he implied. In so many words, he, ah, confessed to planting drugs in the farmhouse. Told me that would be the least of my problems if I didn't agree to his demands."</p><p>"And what were his demands?"</p><p>"That I move back to his Metropolis."</p><p>Jonathan stood straight up. "Over my <em>dead body</em>."</p><p>Lex stood as well. "Dad, I'm not—"</p><p>"You're worth more than this fight, Lex, and I'm not letting you—"</p><p>"I'm <em>not</em> moving back to Metropolis. I already told Lionel I won't do that."</p><p>"<em>Damn</em> right, you won't!" He grabbed onto Lex's arm and shook hard.</p><p>Lex flinched, his body stiffening in Jonathan's grip—he always felt unstable and unsafe when his adoptive father went into this kind of state.</p><p>Jonathan swallowed and let go, taking a step back. "I'm sorry, son." He sat down, pinched the bridge of his nose, and took a few slow breaths. "So, you told Lionel you wouldn't move back to Metropolis. What did he say?"</p><p>Lex sat back down on the chair beside him. "He thinks you weaken me. He wants a chance to undo the, uh, <em>damage</em> you've done. That's why he wanted me to move back to Metropolis."</p><p>"And you told him to get lost?"</p><p>"I told him I'd come back every Monday."</p><p>Jonathan's eyes narrowed. "You agreed to that without consulting us?"</p><p>"What was I supposed to say? <em>No, I have to check in with Jonathan Kent?</em>"</p><p>"Watch your tone. And you could have told him you needed some time to think it over."</p><p>Lex winced—Jonathan had a point. "I'm sorry. But I don't see that we would have reached any other conclusion."</p><p>Jonathan just stared at him for a long time. Concern and fear and a hint of disappointment filled his eyes.</p><p>Lex hung his head. "I <em>am</em> sorry, Dad."</p><p>"Son, what do you think Lionel would have done if you hadn't compromised? If you'd told him to back off and leave you alone?"</p><p>Lex let his breath out. "More of what he's been trying to do. Sowing seeds of doubt within our family, giving us reasons to distrust each other—"</p><p>"Do you trust us?"</p><p>"With my life. But—"</p><p>"We trust you, son. We wouldn't let Lionel change that."</p><p>"I know, but the incident with the cocaine was hard on me, and it hurt you. And I don't want you to trust me unconditionally—that's a lack of accountability I'm not ready for."</p><p>"But you think you're ready to let Lionel hurt you once a week?"</p><p>"I've been through much worse."</p><p>"And it damaged you."</p><p>"You're always telling me I turned out okay."</p><p>"Better than okay, son, you're a good man, but . . . you're not <em>healthy</em>."</p><p>Lex resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Forgive me if I can't be worried about that."</p><p>"And if Clark was kept awake with nightmares every other night? If he flinched every time someone grew angry, if he didn't even care about his own safety?"</p><p>"Okay, okay. I get it." Lex grimaced and rubbed his forehead. "But I'm trying to keep this family safe, and Lionel's not going to leave me alone one way or another. The best thing I can do is to stay close enough to him to try to gather some information that'll get him put away for good."</p><p>Jonathan sighed. "Lex . . ."</p><p>"Are you gonna stop me from going to Metropolis?"</p><p>"No. But . . . if you're going to be away every Monday, you're going to be grounded every Tuesday."</p><p>Anger flooded through his veins. "You think I would be doing this if you thought I had a choice?"</p><p>"No, son—"</p><p>"I'm gonna go out to Metropolis, Lionel's gonna mess with my head, and you're gonna welcome me home by <em>punishing </em>me?"</p><p>"Lex, it's not a punishment."</p><p>Lex scoffed. "Then don't call it one. Just say you don't want me to go out."</p><p>Jonathan sighed. "Fine. You're right, I won't say you're grounded. But I do want you home on Tuesdays, right after work."</p><p>"Okay." That sounded a lot better, even though it amounted to the same thing. Lex wouldn't have wanted to go out anyway.</p><p>"I'll make sure to get the chores done early on Tuesdays, and I'll have your mom bake a pie, and we'll spend the evening as a family. We'll be around if you want to talk to any of us about what Lionel said, and we'll remind you how much we love you."</p><p>Lex's cheeks felt warm. "Yes, sir."</p><p>"And son, you need to make me a promise."</p><p>"What's that?"</p><p>"Promise me you won't provoke Lionel if you can help it."</p><p>Lex swallowed hard. "I promise I'll try not to." That didn't mean anything, and Jonathan probably knew it, but it was the best Lex could give.</p><p>Jonathan stood and gestured for Lex to stand also. He pulled him into his arms. "When are you going to start believing us, hmm?"</p><p>"About what?"</p><p>"About what you're worth."</p><p>Lex didn't say anything. He just let his head rest on Jonathan's shoulder.</p>
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<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Silence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lex tugged at his tie as he walked into the LuthorCorp building. He'd been sweating for the majority of the ride over. Lionel had always played games with words, turning cruelty and manipulation into an art form. Whatever torture was coming, Lex knew he wasn't ready for it. There was no possible way he <em>could</em> be ready.</p><p>He arrived a few minutes before eight. His security badge was hardly necessary; he doubted the guard at the front door to the building would have stopped him.</p><p>Lionel's office was at the top floor. Lex paced his breathing as he entered the room, but his heart still pounded as if it were going to leap out of his chest as he stepped into the office.</p><p>For a moment, Lionel didn't even look up from his computer. When he did, he merely nodded. "I trust you brought your work with you."</p><p>Lex tightened his grip on his briefcase, which held his laptop. "Never leave home without it."</p><p>Lionel nodded to the side table. "Let me know if you need anything." He looked back at his computer screen.</p><p>Lex watched Lionel for a moment longer before he set his briefcase down onto the table and walked around the other side to sit in the rolling desk chair. He hesitantly took out his laptop, glancing up at Lionel every now and then as he did so.</p><p>He didn't start on his work. He stared at the computer screen, typing something meaningless every so often.</p><p>A half an hour into the work day, Lionel hadn't spoken. He hadn't even moved.</p><p>"<em>You know why he's doing this, don't you?</em>"</p><p>Lex barely contained his jump. He wasn't used to hearing from the darkness anymore.</p><p>"<em>He's making you let your guard down</em>. <em>Don't let him</em>."</p><p>That was probably true, but Lex's blood pressure was probably already through the roof. He couldn't sit here and worry about what was going to happen for the rest of the day, especially if it was Lionel's intention to give him the silent treatment until quitting time. At 8:45, Lex pulled up some of his files and began working in earnest.</p><p>By one in the afternoon, it was still silent in the office. Lionel didn't even take a lunch break.</p><p>"<em>Say something</em>. <em>Take control.</em>"</p><p>Lex was good with words, but he wasn't Lionel. As disconcerting as this was, he would have had to admit that the silence was a relief compared to what he was expecting.</p><p>"<em>Don't just sit there! Make the best of the time you're here. Back him into a corner, make excuses to investigate. Take a stand.</em>"</p><p>It wasn't worth it. There was no way he could start that conversation without sounding suspicious, and if Lionel was content with silence, Lex would accept that for as long as it lasted. Once Lionel started the conversation, Lex would act in defense. He'd do what he needed to do to protect himself, his employees, and his family—this wasn't a revenge mission.</p><p>The darkness almost laughed at the thought that this wasn't revenge. "<em>What happened to you, Lex?</em>"</p><p>He'd found a family. He'd started to heal. He wouldn't trade that for anything.</p><p>"<em>You used to be strong.</em>"</p><p>He was definitely different than he had been. But in so many ways, he was stronger now than ever.</p><p>"<em>What do you think it MEANS to be strong, Lex? You let him corner you into coming here, and you're not even trying to take the upper hand.</em>"</p><p>The darkness had a point—Lex <em>had</em> lost track of what strength meant. His new parents had taught him that falling prey to emotions and even tears wasn't an indicator of weakness, and that weakness wasn't always even necessarily a bad thing in and of itself. Jonathan had told Lex that he was a good man, and Martha said he was strong, but he had never actually asked them what strength was.</p><p>"<em>Strength means you don't back down from a fight. It means </em><em>YOU'RE the one who's in control. It means you know when to sacrifice the battle to win the war. Today's just one battle—but you won't even take the risk.</em>"</p><p>Lex glanced up at Lionel, who was still staring at his computer screen. His inner darkness had never exactly had an audible voice—it was more like an internal monologue—but still, the lecture sounded an awful lot like one he might have received from the man sitting across from him.</p><p>And while Lex wasn't sure, anymore, whether he agreed with that definition of strength, he had to admit the voice had a point. Lionel had proven how much of a danger he could be to the people around him. The sooner Lionel was locked up, the better.</p><p>Still, Lex couldn't just start bringing up past crimes and hope Lionel let something slip. He'd need to figure out a plan. Meanwhile, if Lionel himself had a plan . . . Lex wanted to know what it was before he could figure out how to take a stand against it.</p><p>"<em>Coward. You don't even have a plan.</em>"</p><p>Lex clenched his teeth. He'd been trying to push back the darkness, but at this, he opened his mind to its suggestions.</p><p>He could feel its pleasure at being given his full attention. "<em>Strike up a conversation about business. Agree to the merger. Move to Metropolis and work alongside him. Make a phone call to the FBI, wear a bug on you at all times, spend time talking to your father and to his employees, demand security access to all of his files, and look for anything you can find. He commits crimes as often as you breathe. You'll find something.</em>"</p><p>Lex understood the appeal of moving back to Metropolis to finish out this fight, but he wasn't going to do that if he could help it. The suggestion about wearing a bug that linked back to the FBI was something to consider, though. He'd have to think about that one.</p><p>Lionel didn't speak to Lex for the rest of the day, other than a quick parting word when Lex left the office at five. But somehow, Lex suspected that his biological father had still gotten what he wanted. Lionel might have been silent, but Lex's darkness never shut up. It tormented him more in one day than it had in the entire time he'd been back from the island. It was almost worse than hearing from Lionel himself. Lex had to wonder if Lionel knew.</p><hr/><p>Lex stopped for dinner on the way home, and he ended up getting back much too late to talk to his parents for long. He was looking forward to coming home and spending time with them after work on Tuesday, but when he got back to the farm, he found that both of his parents were backed up on chores. He offered to help, but they sent him inside, promising to give him a hug and to talk to him about his day as soon as they could get inside and cleaned up. Then they told him that Clark needed him.</p><p>That last comment felt ominous to Lex. He hurried into the living room to find Clark sitting on the couch, wearing a pair of dark sunglasses and cheap headphones connected to a CD player.</p><p>"Clark?"</p><p>Clark jumped out of his seat, the CD player falling to the floor. He ripped out his headphones. "Lex! You were <em>really </em>loud."</p><p>"Uh, sorry." Lex didn't think he'd been speaking particularly loudly. "What's up with the sunglasses?"</p><p>"Ah . . ." Clark winced. "Something happened, Lex. I'm blind."</p><p>Lex blinked a couple of times, feeling a mild sense of de ja vu along with overwhelming concern. "I . . . I don't know what to say."</p><p>Clark smirked. "Come on, behind the Ray Bans, I'm still the same old Clark."</p><p>Lex's brow furrowed—he wasn't sure who Clark thought he was fooling. Losing a sense was traumatic in the best of cases. Lex came to sit beside Clark on the couch, picking up the CD player and headphones and placing them on the coffee table. "What happened?"</p><p>"An accident at a jewelry shop. It's . . . complicated."</p><p>"Complicated how?"</p><p>"I'm happy to explain it to you, but it would mean telling you some of my secrets."</p><p>"No. No, it's okay." Lex swallowed hard. "You know, when my father lost his sight, I made contact with some of the world's top ophthalmologists. You just say the word, and I can make any one of them available to you.</p><p>"Well, I appreciate that, Lex, but this isn't a problem to be solved. This is something I need to learn to live with."</p><p>That sounded like something Jonathan would have said when he was in one of his ridiculous stubborn moods and was refusing to see reason. "Clark . . . I could help you."</p><p>Clark sighed. "I wish you could."</p><p>With some effort, Lex pushed aside the thought of fixing the problem. Right now, his brother needed the same thing he did in the wake of his own struggles—he needed someone to talk to. "How are you holding up?"</p><p>"I'm okay. My friends have been great about it."</p><p>Lex nodded. "How did Lana take it?"</p><p>"She was there when the accident happened."</p><p>"But she doesn't know <em>what</em> happened."</p><p>"Not really, no. But that happens a lot."</p><p>"You lie to her a lot?"</p><p>Clark shrugged. "I don't have much of a choice."</p><p>Lex shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "How does she feel about that?"</p><p>"Ah . . ." Clark's hands began to fidget. "I think it's been really tough on her."</p><p>Lex spoke in as gentle a voice as he could: "Clark, when you used to lie to me whenever I'd ask about something that was happening . . . I felt like I was going crazy. Either I couldn't trust my own eyes, or I couldn't trust my best friend. There were times I trusted you against all odds, and then when I found out you'd lied to me . . ." Lex shook his head. He didn't want to admit any more than he already had about how much it had hurt.</p><p>"I just don't know what else to do."</p><p>"Could you do what you did with me? Tell her that there <em>are</em> secrets, but that they're dangerous, and you're not always going to be able to tell her everything?"</p><p>"That didn't work out so well with you. You wouldn't talk to us for two months."</p><p>Lex didn't bother to bring up the fact that Clark had said some terribly hurtful things to him right before that conversation had taken place—Clark had a tendency to brood when he felt guilty. "I tried to come back a couple of times, but you kept lying to me every time I talked to you."</p><p>Clark let his breath out. "I wish I could make it up to you, Lex."</p><p>"You do, Clark. Every day." Lex smiled, even though Clark couldn't see it. "But it was painful, feeling like I couldn't trust you."</p><p>"I know." Clark winced.</p><p>"So you've got to ask yourself, do you think she could forgive you if you admitted that you were keeping secrets, but didn't tell her what they were?"</p><p>"No. Chloe, maybe, but Lana . . . no. I really hurt her when I ran away this last summer.</p><p>Lex nodded. "Then you have your answer."</p><p>"My answer?"</p><p>"About what to do."</p><p>Clark's forehead wrinkled.</p><p>"You need to let her go, Clark."</p><p>Clark's head lowered.</p><p>"I know you've been in love with her since before you knew what love was, but I care about her, too. Please, don't do that to her. It might turn her into something she doesn't want to be."</p><p>Clark swiped a hand under his sunglasses and sniffed. "Okay, Lex."</p><p>Lex slid a bit closer to his brother on the couch, wrapping his arm around him from the side. "For what it's worth, I think it's her loss."</p><p>"Thanks."</p><p>Lex gave him a couple of pats and let him go. "And in the meantime, don't give up hope about your eyes."</p><p>Clark sighed. "I can't talk to any doctors."</p><p>"Okay. But still, I've seen you come back from a lot. I wouldn't be surprised if you bounce back from this."</p><p>Clark nodded and half smiled. "Thanks, Lex. Um, how was your first day in Metropolis?"</p><p>Lex considered carefully. It was difficult to explain what had happened, or why it had been so difficult for Lex to take, since Lionel hadn't really done anything. The Kents didn't know much about the types of mind games Lionel usually played. On some level, Lex wanted to keep it that way.</p><p>On the other hand, he didn't want to lie to the Kents, and he really needed their help, especially when it came to dealing with his inner darkness. He craved their comfort and encouragement. He wanted to have a long talk with Jonathan, and for Jonathan to lecture him gently about what it meant to be a strong man. He wanted Martha to hug him and remind him firmly that who he was becoming under their mentorship was exactly who he <em>wanted</em> to be.</p><p>But right now, the Kents had enough to worry about, with Clark's blindness and the extra work that came along with the loss of Clark's help. Martha and Jonathan could say all they wanted about Lex and Clark both having equal rights to call them parents; Lex still believed Clark should be their priority.</p><p>"It was fine," Lex said at last.</p>
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<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Loyalty</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The following Monday, Lex was a few minutes late to arrive at the office in Metropolis. Traffic was a little heavier than he had been expecting, now that the holidays were officially over.</p><p>Lionel didn't even mention his lateness. He merely nodded to the side desk and looked back to his own computer.</p><p>Lex took out his laptop and tried to focus. His parents had been mostly preoccupied that week taking care of Clark while his sight recovered, but they'd made time for him as well, even though Lex's first day in Metropolis had been fairly uneventful.</p><p>Lex took a deep, silent breath and let it out. He had promised Jonathan he wouldn't try to provoke Lionel, but he couldn't take another day of silence—or rather, another day of his dark side tormenting him.</p><p>After about five minutes, he closed back up his laptop and cleared his throat.</p><p>Lionel looked up at him.</p><p>Lex set his jaw, bracing himself for the game. "As much as I appreciate the, ah, free office space, the commute is a little long for me to sit here and do work I could have done at home."</p><p>Lionel raised his eyebrows. "Home. Remind me, where is that?"</p><p>Lex didn't allow anything to show on his face. He found the mind games almost enjoyable with anyone else. There had even been a short period of time when he'd almost enjoyed them with Lionel. But since then, he'd come to an understanding of what he wanted a father to be. What a father should be. Since then, he'd discovered that Lionel wasn't just an abuser, and a manipulator, and a liar—he was a murder, a danger to the community, who only Lex could fight. "You called me here for a reason, and yet you've been completely silent."</p><p>"Of course I have. I'm not going to force you to listen to what I have to say." He smirked. "That's not who you are."</p><p>Lex hated that Lionel knew him better than Jonathan did. It could be years before that wasn't true anymore. Despite everything, Lex's guards had begun to lower since last week. He was curious enough about what Lionel had to say that he was going to listen, even if he then proceeded to rejected it all. Had Lionel begun speaking right away the week before, Lex probably would have tried to tune him out all together.</p><p>"But if you want to talk? Let's talk. Let's talk about the Kents."</p><p>"I'd rather not."</p><p>"Oh, but I'm sure you have quite a lot to say. You've been living with them for quite awhile, haven't you?"</p><p>Lex didn't say anything at all. He wasn't going to reveal any more of his hand than he had to; and if he waited, Lionel might give him a better hint of how much of Lex's hand he had seen.</p><p>"Let me guess. They, ah . . . they love you. They forgave you for using their house as a storage space for illegal substances."</p><p>"They know I didn't do that." That might have been more than he should have given away.</p><p>"Even better, then. They <em>trust</em> you." Lionel stood and came around to the front of his desk. "Tell me, son, have you earned that?"</p><p>"Maybe I have."</p><p>"So they know about the meteor rock experiments you've been commissioning."</p><p>Lex could feel his pulse in his ears. "I don't tell them about the day to day operations at the plant. They know there are parts of my work that are classified."</p><p>"For someone who claims to have earned <em>anyone's</em> trust, you certainly tell quite a few lies to yourself."</p><p>"That might be true, but this isn't one of them."</p><p>"You are many things, Lex, but an imbecile isn't one of them. Anyone who's even stepped <em>foot</em> in Smallville could see the truth."</p><p>Lex's jaw pulsed. "And what truth is that?"</p><p>"That it's all connected. The meteor rocks, the unexplainable accidents and murders and rescues. And if you follow the news—and I <em>know</em> you do, Lex—you know the Kents are at the center of every one of those stories."</p><p>"I didn't take you for a conspiracy theorist. You should be careful—people will start to talk."</p><p>"One family is hardly a conspiracy. And with the sheer number of impossible circumstances in that little town, the only crazy thing would be to dismiss the stories offhand." He came to pace in front of the side table where Lex still sat. "Of course, you're not crazy, are you? That's why you're running the experiments."</p><p>"On the meteor rocks. Nothing more."</p><p>"But if it's all connected, any experiments regarding the meteor rocks is an investigation into the happenings of the town, and any investigation about the town is an invasion of the Kents' secrets. And that's why you've never told them. That's why you avoid the subject at the dinner table. It's why you've never explained to your secretary or most of your employees where you disappear to halfway through the day—word might make its way back to your pretend family. You tell yourself it doesn't matter, that you don't tell them everything that happens at work anyway, but you know this is different, because you know exactly what they'd say if they knew."</p><p>"It's not—"</p><p>"Maybe they do love you, Lex, and maybe they even trust you. Maybe they tell you it's unconditional, and maybe they believe that. Maybe even you believe it. But mark my words, son. You tell them you've been going behind their backs, and they <em>will</em> see you differently. They'll see who you really are."</p><p>Lex lost it at that. He stood from his chair and swore, telling Lionel exactly what he could do to himself.</p><p>Lionel smiled. His face said everything all too clearly—he had won. He went back to his desk. "No more for today. You can go home if you wish."</p><p>Lex's heart pounded so hard it hurt. He wanted nothing more than to storm out of the office, but he couldn't leave now. That was a greater admission of defeat than he was willing to give. He would stay until quitting time, just like last week.</p><p>His darkness started in on him as soon as the room was quiet again.</p><hr/><p>A week after Clark first lost his sight and Lex first started spending his Mondays in Metropolis, things were still running behind at the farm. Clark had done quite a lot once his sight returned, but not all chores could be assisted by his powers.</p><p>By the next Tuesday, though, they were caught up enough that Martha could take the time to bake a pie. The four of them sat down to a nice family dinner.</p><p>"How's the eyesight, sweetie?" Martha asked Clark as they dished up the casserole.</p><p>"It's great. Better than ever, actually."</p><p>"Glad to hear it." Martha smiled.</p><p>"We're almost caught up on all of the chores," Jonathan said.</p><p>"Well, that calls for a celebration. Pie's in the oven."</p><p>"<em>Yes</em>." Clark grinned. "It smells amazing, Mom."</p><p>Lex dropped his fork onto his plate. "I'm gonna call it an early night, if it's okay with you." He stood and picked up his plate, even though it was still mostly full.</p><p>Jonathan tapped the table. "Have a seat, Lex. We have a rule about skipping meals."</p><p>"I'm not hungry."</p><p>"When did you eat lunch?"</p><p>Lex let out a loud sigh. "I didn't. Wasn't hungry then either."</p><p>"Sit."</p><p>Lex sat for long enough to take a few bites, then stood back up, brought his plate to the sink, and disappeared up the stairs.</p><p>Jonathan stared toward the staircase. "I have half a mind . . ."</p><p>Clark shook his head. "Dad, don't be upset with him. It's because of Lionel."</p><p>"And that's why he's supposed to be here tonight," Jonathan said. "So we can help him<em>.</em>"</p><p>Martha gently put down her fork and squeezed her husband's shoulder. "Let me talk to him."</p><p>Jonathan nodded. "If he's disrespectful to you—"</p><p>"I'll find out why before deciding what to do about it. You know I don't let the kids walk all over me."</p><p>Jonathan gave a slight nod.</p><p>Martha climbed the stairs and knocked lightly on the wall beside Lex's open door before stepping into his room. He stood staring out of the window, hands in his pockets. He hadn't even changed out of his work suit.</p><p>"What's on your mind, sweetie?"</p><p>Lex didn't turn back to look at her. "Have I earned your trust, Mom?"</p><p>"I think so." She came to stand beside him, putting a gentle hand on the back of his arm. "Is there something you need to tell me?"</p><p>"I've been experimenting with meteor rocks. I never told you because I didn't know how you would take it."</p><p>Martha blinked a couple of times. Her first reaction was to feel betrayed—he'd once sent investigators after Clark, but it had been two years since then, and Lex had barely known the Kents at the time. It hurt to find out he had started back up again.</p><p>But she pushed aside those feelings. Not only were they unhelpful in getting through this conversation; they weren't <em>true</em>. Lex couldn't have known that kryptonite was related to Clark.</p><p>Now, though, she had to try to convince him to stop his investigations, without telling him any of the reasons why. She understood why he'd declined to hear Clark's secrets, and it was especially important to keep anything related to Clark away from the Luthor world, now that Lex was going to be spending a day with Lionel every week. But that meant she didn't have much to go on when it came to talking him down from his projects.</p><p>Then again, she didn't know anything about what the project entailed. "For how long?" she asked.</p><p>"About two years."</p><p>"Wow." She looked up at him, but he kept his eyes on the horizon. "Have you found anything?"</p><p>"Not really." He swallowed, shifting his weight. "It's connected to Clark, isn't it?"</p><p>"You couldn't have known."</p><p>"I'll shut down the project. It could endanger him."</p><p>"Sweetie . . . it could help him, too." The words were out before she had a chance to think about them, but they weren't false. Clark dealt with meteor mutants every week. Learning more about them could do a lot more good than harm, especially if Lex's experiments couldn't be linked back to Clark in any way that was obvious to someone who didn't already know Clark's secrets.</p><p>He turned to face her. "You think I should keep the experiments going?"</p><p>She took a deep breath. Jonathan would have to be talked into this, but this made sense. "That job you offered me in project management. You think maybe this could be my assignment?"</p><p>"It could. This project would have you reporting to me rather than the board, though."</p><p>"That's okay with me."</p><p>"Well then, Martha Kent, consider yourself hired."</p><p>She grinned. "All the more reason to celebrate tonight."</p><p>He smiled for a moment, but then his brow furrowed. "Ah, you're not angry with me?"</p><p>"No. Did you do something wrong?"</p><p>He let his breath out and pulled her into a sudden, tight hug.</p><p>She hugged back, patting his back until he let go. "Now, why don't you come down and enjoy dinner with the family?"</p><p>"Okay, Mom."</p><p>She took a step toward the door, then remembered the look on Jonathan's face before she'd left and looked back up at Lex. "Um . . . I'm not upset with you, sweetie, but you were a little rude when you left the table. You might want to make a quick apology when you get back down."</p><p>He winced. "Yes, ma'am."</p>
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<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Project Manager</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I don't like it, Martha."</p><p>Martha sighed. Jonathan had said that same thing at least ten times over the past two days. Thankfully, he didn't express himself quite so directly around Lex, who wouldn't understand why it wasn't personal. "It's going to be fine."</p><p>"It's a risk." Jonathan hovered by the front door. Lex had already left for work an hour ago; she'd stayed to help Jonathan with some chores before she went, since she was going to be out for the rest of the day. They hadn't started looking for another farm hand yet.</p><p>"It's a good thing." She smiled as she put on her jacket. "It's a chance to support our son. Both of our sons."</p><p>"It's dangerous for Clark."</p><p>Martha slung her purse over her shoulder. "There's no way anyone on that research team is going to guess that the meteors are related to Clark. He's not even a kryptonite mutant."</p><p>"You're right. His secret is even more connected than that."</p><p>Martha frowned. "What do you expect them to find?"</p><p>"I don't know. For all we know, their research could direct them right to him."</p><p>"Honey, we don't <em>know</em> anything. I'd like to find some things out. I think it could help."</p><p>"I don't like it." Jonathan shook his head. "I don't like Clark's secrets being investigated where a Luthor can find them."</p><p>Martha raised her eyebrows. "A Luthor calls you Dad."</p><p>He groaned. "You know what I meant."</p><p>"This is Lex's project."</p><p>"And Lex is spending an awful lot of time with Lionel."</p><p>"You don't trust him?"</p><p>"I don't trust <em>Lionel.</em>"</p><p>Martha sighed, letting her purse drop to her elbow. "What do you want me to do, Jonathan?"</p><p>"Tell Lex to stop the experiments."</p><p>"He won't understand why without knowing Clark's secret."</p><p>"Then tell him the secret."</p><p>"He doesn't want to know until Lionel is in prison."</p><p>Jonathan's jaw stiffened. "Too bad. We're in charge of him for a few more weeks."</p><p>"I don't think it works like that."</p><p>"It doesn't make sense. He thinks it's too dangerous to know Clark's secrets, but hiring others to investigating them—"</p><p>"I <em>really</em> don't think anyone will make the connection to Clark. Lots of people know about the kryptonite mutations, and no one's ever made the connection because of that."</p><p>Jonathan looked away, letting breath out. "I still don't like this."</p><p>"I know." Martha adjusted the strap of her purse so it rested on her shoulder again, and she reached up to kiss him on the cheek. "But Lex is curious, and so am I. I think knowing more about how kryptonite affects people could be a good thing. I'm not going to tell him to shut down the project. The best thing I can do is be there and control the direction."</p><p>Jonathan rubbed his forehead. "I'm not going to change your mind on this, am I?"</p><p>Martha took his hand. "I'm trying to support both of our sons."</p><p>He nodded. "Okay, Martha. I trust you."</p><p>Martha smiled. He really had come a long way. She kissed him once more and left.</p><hr/><p>Martha met with Lex's research team in an underground lab.</p><p>It wasn't exactly what she had expected, though in fairness, she hadn't been exactly sure what to expect. For one thing, Lex didn't show up to greet her and introduce her to the team on her first day. A security guard escorted her to the place instead. She supposed that made sense; he wouldn't be able to avoid the body language between the two of them that would associate them as mother and son, and that was hardly a dynamic they wanted to divulge to the research team.</p><p>The atmosphere was also dark and a little spooky. In addition to all of the lab equipment—microscopes, electrical equipment, beakers and test tubes, computers and other machines—there were quite a few animals in cages. Aside from that, there was an eerie green glow about the place. There was kryptonite everywhere, in forms she had never even seen: liquid serums of various colors, bars of refined materials, and in its original stone form. The whole place would have been a torture chamber for Clark.</p><p>Martha suddenly understood exactly what Jonathan had been saying, but it only made her more determined to ensure the research went in a direction as far from Clark as possible. She was exactly where she needed to be.</p><p>The other thing that surprised her was that the research team only had three people: Lia Teng, a biologist; Stuart Long, a computer technician; and Henry Criton, a mineralogist who introduced himself as a former colleague of Steven Hamilton. She allowed them to continue calling her "Mrs. Kent" and "ma'am," even though part of her wanted to tell them to switch to Martha. It would be best to keep some professional distance; this wasn't the time to be friendly or approachable.</p><p>Henry, the mineralogist, gave a short presentation from a laptop with a projector he'd set up. It sounded like they really hadn't gotten far with the experiments—they had concluded that the meteor rocks <em>could</em> affect human and animal cells, but they didn't always, and the meteors didn't affect them in any predictable ways. Martha was waiting for a resolution, but the presentation ended abruptly.</p><p>She looked up from the clipboard where she'd been taking notes. "Wait, that's it?"</p><p>"That's all we have," Henry said.</p><p>"How long have you been working on this project?"</p><p>"Ah, none of us have been on this project for longer than a year, but we picked up where Dr. Hamilton left off. This is two year's worth of progress."</p><p>"We hit a brick wall almost as soon as we started," Lia said.</p><p>"Does Lex know?" Martha asked.</p><p>"Yes, ma'am," Lia said, "though he's still in denial. It might be why he hired you in. We've told him what we need to start making progress again, but he won't listen."</p><p>Martha frowned. "What do you need?"</p><p>"Live subjects," Lia sad. "That is, humans who have already been infected."</p><p>Martha blinked a couple of times. "Well, surely there must be an ethical way—"</p><p>"There is. But Lex won't consider it."</p><p>"What is it?"</p><p>Lia and Henry exchanged a glance, then Lia said, "You hear stories about people going crazy in Smallville all the time. Some of them can . . . do things."</p><p>Martha nodded. She didn't see the point in denying it; everyone already knew.</p><p>"Most of them are murderers," Lia said. "Do you know what happens to them?"</p><p>A sudden wave of embarrassment passed over her at how little she had thought about that. "They go to prison?"</p><p>Lia shook her head. "Most of them end up in Belle Reve."</p><p>"Ah."</p><p>"Now, we <em>could</em> work out a legal agreement with Belle Reve," Lia went on. "We could house the infected people here instead, if they're willing, and run experimental treatments. It would be better for them than living in an asylum, and it would give us the data we need. In time, maybe we could even cure them."</p><p>Martha raised an eyebrow. It didn't sound like a terrible arrangement; she knew there were quite a lot of students at Clark's school who had been affected by the meteors and become homicidal, and she doubted Belle Reve had any idea what to do with them other than to keep them locked up and drugged. "You've spoken to Lex about this?"</p><p>"He won't consider it. He says we'd be taking advantage of them."</p><p>Martha looked down at her clipboard. She wondered if Lex didn't trust his staff—maybe that was why he'd agreed to put Martha in charge of the project. "What did he say exactly?"</p><p>Lia breathed in to speak, but Henry cut her off: "He went on this long speech about how it would start out as trying to help the test subjects, but over time he'd be more and more frustrated by the bureaucratic hurdles and the slow progress, and he'd eventually start resorting to unethical experimentation that the subjects never would have signed up for."</p><p>Martha nodded slowly. "He doesn't trust himself."</p><p>"Of course he doesn't," Lia said. "He's scared of becoming his father."</p><p>"That's very perceptive, Dr. Teng." Martha raised her eyebrows.</p><p>"Honestly, Mrs. Kent, he goes on about it to anyone who will listen. He thinks he's being intimidating, but sometimes he just sounds like a scared little kid."</p><p>Martha kept her smile to herself. "Well, if you hit a wall months ago, what do you do with your time, then?"</p><p>Stuart smirked, speaking up for the first time: "We go over Lionel Luthor's data."</p><p>Martha's heart jumped. "Lionel is doing secret research?"</p><p>"Oh, yes," Stuart said. "Much more effectively than we are. I've hacked into his networks."</p><p>"He doesn't have security?"</p><p>Stuart's eyes widened. "State of the art. Took me weeks of full-time work to get in."</p><p>"Lex is okay with this?"</p><p>"He tolerates it."</p><p>"And, um . . ." Martha's throat felt dry, but she fought to keep the apprehension out of her voice—if Lex's team could hack into Lionel's data, couldn't Lionel's team do the same? "How much does Lionel know?"</p><p>"He's obsessed with some liver disease," Lia said. "I'm not confident he's working with the meteor rocks at all."</p><p>Henry scoffed. "What else could explain the data?"</p><p>"I don't know," Lia said, "but the meteor rocks don't."</p><p>Henry turned to Martha. "Lionel brought a dead kid back to life."</p><p>Martha's voice caught in her throat. "He did <em>what?</em>"</p><p>"We don't <em>know</em> that," Stuart said.</p><p>"The notes are pretty clear." Henry shrugged.</p><p>"It's also impossible," Lia said.</p><p>"Hello! This is Smallville!" Henry rolled his eyes and turned to Martha. "Alright, to be honest, the short version is that we can't make heads or tails of the information."</p><p>"And the long version?"</p><p>Henry grinned, reopened the laptop, and pulled up a second presentation. "I thought you'd never ask."</p><hr/><p>Martha spent the rest of the day going over the details of Lionel's investigations with the research team. By the end of it, she knew exactly why they were frustrated; it wasn't clear where Lionel was getting his raw materials, and the things he'd managed to do with those materials sounded impossible even by Martha's standards—and she's seen some pretty incredible things.</p><p>It was after five when she finally left the plant. She was distracted by her thoughts about what she could make for dinner that would be quick, and she almost didn't see Lionel until he was right in front of her in the hallway.</p><p>She gasped. "You're not supposed to be here."</p><p>He waved a hand. "Lex's security wouldn't dare to try to keep me out."</p><p>That sounded ridiculous to her—if Lex's security wasn't effective against the likes of Lionel, what were they even there for?—but she kept it to herself. "What do you want, Lionel?"</p><p>"It must be comforting to imagine that you're the first."</p><p>"I don't know what you're talking about."</p><p>"This little song and dance Lex is putting on for you and your husband, Mrs. Kent. I'm afraid it's a game he's played quite a few times in the past."</p><p>Martha crossed her arms. "Explain."</p><p>"I imagine he's told you he has some kind of, ah, darkness in his head?"</p><p>Her teeth clenched.</p><p>He sighed, putting a finger to his lips. "There was another family, when he lived in Metropolis. He earned their trust, even started calling this couple his parents. An act of teenage rebellion—I would have thought he would grow out of it by now, but apparently I was wrong."</p><p>Martha swallowed hard. "What happened with the family?"</p><p>"Well, he didn't hurt them, if that's what you're asking. Not, ah, physically. But eventually he lost interest in the charade. Of course, they were devastated when they discovered they were pawns in his game. I believe . . ." His voice lowered. "They had come to <em>love</em> him."</p><p>Martha felt her blood pressure rising. The corners of her vision were going dark and fuzzy, and she felt as if electricity were traveling through her veins.</p><p>"They, ah . . ." He chuckled. "Well, they were under the impression he loved them as well."</p><p>Martha coiled back and punched him in the face.</p><p>Lionel gasped and whirled around. When he came back up, the corner of his mouth was bleeding.</p><p>His eyes flashed, and just for a moment, Martha was afraid for her life. But the moment passed, and he merely nodded. "Mrs. Kent."</p><p>"Mr. Luthor."</p><p>He straightened his jacket and stalked out of the building.</p><p>She breathed hard as she fled for the exit on the opposite side, even though it would mean a longer walk to her car. Her arms and legs shook the whole way. Violence wasn't usually her response to conflict—it was more Jonathan's vice than hers—but something about Lionel brought out that side of her, a side she didn't know she had. She knew it wasn't helpful. She knew it wasn't good for her own health, even aside from the fact that her hand was killing her. She also suspected that it was dangerous to put Lionel in a worse mood, that antagonizing Lionel might make things worse for Lex.</p><p>But all the same, she couldn't bring herself to regret hitting Lionel Luthor. It felt like it had been a long time coming.</p>
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<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Trap</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lex arrived back at the farm before Martha did on her first day of work. He figured she would probably be late, getting her bearings, so he brought home takeout from a restaurant he thought his family would like. He doubted it would be as good as her cooking, but she would need the break.</p><p>Martha usually gave him a hug when he arrived home, so when she walked in, looking much more exhausted than he was expecting, he opened his arms for her.</p><p>It wasn't her usual hug. She clung onto him, her arms shaking.</p><p>He rubbed her back a little, the way she usually did for him when he was distressed. "What's going on, Mom?"</p><p>"Lionel was at the plant."</p><p>He pulled back, holding her at arm's length. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you, threaten you?"</p><p>"No, nothing like that. He told me that . . . that we weren't the first family you'd attached to."</p><p>Lex frowned. "What do you mean?"</p><p>"He said that there was another couple, back when you lived in Metropolis. He said you called them your parents, but it was all a game, and they were devastated when you lost interest in them."</p><p>Lex's blood boiled. Making up stories outright wasn't a commonly used page of the Luthor playbook, but this wasn't the first time, either. "None of it is true," he said. "I promise." Direct denial was also not a Luthor thing to do, but Lex had learned from the last time he'd been accused of something he didn't do.</p><p>"I know, sweetie." She cradled his face in her hand. "He doesn't give up, does he?"</p><p>"It runs in the family." Lex swallowed as she took her hand away. "What did you say?"</p><p>"I, uh . . ." Her face turned red. "I punched him."</p><p>Lex blinked. "You—you <em>what?</em>"</p><p>"I lost my temper, and I punched him in the face." She turned her hand over, showing her knuckles, which were badly swollen. "Hopefully he won't give you a hard time because of it."</p><p>"Ah. I—I don't think . . ." Lex didn't know what to say. He wouldn't have expected that from his mom, though he supposed it shouldn't really have surprised him, given her tenacity. "Wow."</p><p>"Will it be a problem?"</p><p>"Uh . . ." Lex turned away, considering. On the one hand, Lionel wasn't one to allow an insult or slight to pass quietly. On the other hand, a punch to the face wasn't the kind of insult that most aggravated Lionel. Attacks to his power and sense of control were much more dangerous. He couldn't think of many people who had actually had the nerve to strike his biological father in the first place. At best, Lionel might actually find it impressive or amusing. At worst, he'd be embarrassed.</p><p>"Well?"</p><p>"Honestly, I don't think you need to worry. Not about this." Lex gave her a slight smirk. "Now, if he finds out my research team hacked into his files, it might be a different story. But I'll take the brunt of his wrath for that one."</p><p>He'd meant that to be comforting, but one look at her face reminded him that it was anything but.</p><p>"No, Mom, I'll be fine." He smiled. "I've survived him for twenty-three years."</p><p>"Twenty-four, now."</p><p>Lex looked down at his hands. "Ah. I guess you're right."</p><p>Martha beamed, went over to the fridge, and took out a frosted cake. "You didn't think I'd forget, did you?"</p><p>He breathed in to ask when on earth she'd had time to make and decorate a cake, but he just chuckled instead. He'd learned not to ask.</p><p>His mother pulled him into her arms again. "Happy birthday, sweetie."</p><p>"Thanks, Mom," he said, relaxing into the embrace. He refrained from reminding her that the hug meant as much as, if not more than, the cake. That kind of talk just made her sad.</p>
<hr/><p>Lex made sure to get a full report from Martha on everything that was happening at Lionel's labs. She was able to give him a bit more information than the team had brought him before. From what he could tell, she'd contributed to their understanding a little with insights about why Lionel might have made certain decisions over others, and she'd made a couple of suggestions to help avoid getting caught, but she was no scientist—putting her on the team didn't lead to any sudden breakthroughs. The biggest advantage to having her in charge of the team was the fact that he had no doubt he could trust her entirely.</p><p>But there was one other advantage to having her on the team: she had some tactical suggestions for how to handle the situation that the scientists on the team couldn't have suggested—they were always asking about whether they could replicate the experiments, and he was constantly having to shut them down.</p><p>Martha suggested that he take the risk of revealing some of the things he knew as a bargaining chip, and then ask for a project to work on for his time in Metropolis, a part time position of sorts. It would give him a chance to explore the less ethical practices at LuthorCorp; most of them wouldn't be worth exploiting, as the legal repercussions would be little more than a wrist slap, but some would inevitably be more egregious.</p><p>It was much, much better than waiting for Lionel to find out he'd hacked into the LuthorCorp files. This way, he'd have the upper hand, use the information to his own advantage.</p><p>Lex arrived an hour early for work the following Monday. Using the information as leverage, he worked his way through the layers of security. He didn't make it all the way into the lab in the hour he had, but he managed to get ahold of a sample from the lab, and he bribed and threatened until he found out what it did.</p><p>His scientists had been right. Lionel was raising the dead. And he was holding human test subjects captive to do it.</p><p>Lex didn't bother with greetings when he arrived at Lionel's office. He marched right up to his desk and placed down the vial.</p><p>Lionel picked up the vial, mock confusion on his face. Confusion was the one emotion Luthors were never quite able to fake. "What is this?"</p><p>"An experimental medication. Not exactly FDA approved, but I assume you're working on the patent."</p><p>Lionel scoffed. "Lex, I don't have time for twenty questions."</p><p>"I know about the lab at Metron. It gives new meaning to the term <em>Human Resources</em>."</p><p>"You know, there are hundreds of projects in development at LuthorCorp. You'll have to forgive me if I'm not current on all the details about, ah, what, Metron?" He picked up his coffee cup and sipped at it.</p><p>"You're secretly developing a serum that has a certain Lazarus effect on the dearly departed."</p><p>"Resuscitating the dead?" Lionel raised his eyebrows.</p><p>Lex opened his briefcase, pulling out a file. "So far, the Kafkaesque trials have caused patient's bodies to deteriorate while their minds retain consciousness. It sort of bypasses the code of ethics, but I suppose if you were successful, it could mean business."</p><p>Lionel took the file and glanced through the papers. "I applaud your moral outrage, but, um, these papers don't specifically confirm any of your accusations, son."</p><p>"Although, they would raise a few eyebrows at the Daily Planet."</p><p>Lionel laughed—a sound Lex had learned to fear. "What do you want, Lex? Do you want me to shut down the project?"</p><p>"No, of course not." Lex steeled himself. "I want to be put in charge of it."</p>
<hr/><p>Lex should have known that Lionel had given into his demands too quickly.</p><p>The paperwork was drawn up in minutes, and the whole project transfer took less than an hour. He shouldn't have been surprised to find out that there had been instabilities brewing in the project. Eight people were dead by the end of the day, and Lex had just signed the papers that said it was all his fault.</p><p>He should have known.</p><p>"<em>What do I keep telling you, Lex?</em>" his darkness taunted. "<em>You're going soft</em>."</p><p>That was big talk from his inner darkness, considering it had done nothing to warn him this was coming, and considering it wasn't make any suggestions as to what to do next.</p><p>"<em>Make a deal with the FBI, get them to put a wire on you, pick up evidence when you're with Lionel. It'll save you and take him down.</em>"</p><p>As much as Lex hated to take advice from his inner darkness, he had to admit the idea had merit. It would save him from going to prison, and it would be the first real progress he'd made in his fight against Lionel. Jonathan would hate it if he knew Lex was taking his dark side's advice, but he'd also hate it if Lex got himself sent to prison just because Lex didn't want to entertain suggestions from the other side of his mind.</p><p>He'd just hold off on telling Jonathan exactly where the idea had come from. It wouldn't be a problem if he didn't make a habit of it.</p><p>He could have been imagining it, but he almost thought he could feel his darker side humming to itself.</p><p>Lex headed back to the mansion to prepare for the fall out. He was lucky he managed to get a call in to his lawyer before the police showed up to arrest him. He was already in hand cuffs when FBI Agent Loder showed up.</p><p>"This better be important," Loder said. "Your lawyer may have friends in high places, but I'm not a believer in the trickle-down theory."</p><p>"I want to make a deal." Lex rubbed his wrists, which were</p><p>"Why should I do that? From what I understand, they're building a strong case against you."</p><p>"As flattered as I am to be the object of so much attention, you and I both know I'm only the consolation prize."</p><p>Loder crossed his arms. "I'm listening."</p><p>"Tell the cops to drop the charges and give me immunity, and I'll give you the biggest arrest of your career."</p><p>"What are we talking about?"</p><p>Lex couldn't quite hide the tears in his eyes when he made the offer: "I'll help you bring down my father."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I just want you all to know: this story isn't 100% prewritten or outlined, but I'm expecting it to be about the same length as "If She Looked Over."</p>
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<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Identity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger warning—some physical abuse in this chapter. Not super graphic, but emotional.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Clark took deep breaths as he raised a hand to knock on Lex's door. He wasn't usually up this early—at least, he tried not to be—but Pete was in trouble, and Clark couldn't think of anyone else who could help.</p><p>"Come in."</p><p>Clark pushed the door open—Lex had already put on his suit and was tying his tie.</p><p>"I was just about to head out." Lex turned to face Clark, and frowned when he saw his face. "Everything okay?"</p><p>"Lex, you've done so much already, but I need a big favor."</p><p>"Name it."</p><p>Clark swallowed hard. "I need twenty thousand dollars, cash."</p><p>Lex's eyes widened. "You're right. That is big. You mind telling me what it's for?"</p><p>"My friend got mixed up with the wrong crowd, and now they're making him pay for it."</p><p>Lex gave him a look. "Is this the old proverbial friend who happens to be you?"</p><p>"Believe me, if that was the case, it'd be a lot easier."</p><p>"Well, tell your friend that in my experience, money-hungry thugs are like stray dogs. You feed them once, they're at your back door every night asking for more."</p><p>"Unfortunately I don't think my friend has a choice. They're threatening to kill him."</p><p>"What happened, Clark?"</p><p>Clark winced. "I wish I could tell you more."</p><p>"You can trust me. Unless . . ." Lex's eyes narrowed. "Does this have to do with your secret?"</p><p>"No." Clark took a deep breath. He knew he could trust his brother. Pete wouldn't like it, but then, he wouldn't like the fact that Clark was asking Lex for the money, either. "It's Pete. He got himself involved in illegal street racing, and gambling, and he has to come up with twenty thousand dollars by tomorrow, or they're going to kill him."</p><p>Lex frowned. "Clark . . . I want to help you, but . . . the power of wealth comes with a lot of responsibility."</p><p>"But you've always been generous with people."</p><p>"Yes. When it doesn't matter. But I have to be careful about . . ." Lex hung his head. "I wish I could give you the money."</p><p>Clark squeezed his eyes shut. "I get it. It's just, I don't know what to do for Pete. I can't let him die."</p><p>"Well, who's threatening him? I might be able to pull some strings—"</p><p>"I don't want Pete to get in any trouble."</p><p>"Sounds like he's already in trouble, Clark."</p><p>"I know, but . . ." Clark sighed. "I'll figure something out."</p><p>Lex gave Clark a pointed look, said, "Be careful," and picked up his jacket from the coat hanger, revealing his car keys just before he left the room.</p><hr/><p>The guilt at having to turn Clark down ate at Lex all the way to Metropolis. He hoped Clark would catch his hint to go ahead and take his Porsche—he couldn't have been more obvious about it if he'd turned around and winked. He would have told him directly, but he had already put on the wire Loder had given him, and he didn't want to make a show of turning it off so he could explain himself to Clark.</p><p>He hadn't told the Kents about the deal with the FBI yet. He wasn't going to hide it from them for any length of time—he knew where that would lead—but he hadn't gotten a good opportunity to sit and explain to them what he was doing, and they were certainly going to panic about the homicides Lex had been framed for. If there was any chance he might be able to wrap up the fight quickly by catching Lionel saying something suspicious within the first week or two of wearing the wire, that would mean he could deliver the good news along with the bad, softening the blow and eliminating their need to worry about him.</p><p>It was a poor excuse for lying, and Lex knew it. But he couldn't help but worry that his adoptive father would somehow find reason to be disappointed with him for his underhanded deal with the FBI, and Lex didn't want to deal with that pain, not while he was taking his biological father's abuse. If he finished out his fight quickly, he wouldn't give his family any reason to be disappointed with him.</p><p>Lionel was waiting for Lex outside of his office when he arrived. "What's this about?" Lex asked.</p><p>"Press conference. You need to report on your, ah, project."</p><p>"The one you used to set me up."</p><p>Lionel smirked. "I trust you can think fast on your feet."</p><p>Lex's mouth felt dry. He was rusty when it came to that kind of deception; he valued openness and honesty with his own employees, but there were no good options here. The full story would cause panic and undermine everything he'd been working to build with his own company.</p><p>A press conference also meant the story would make the news, which meant his parents would find out about it. That gave him a pretty quick deadline to tell them what was going on. That wasn't the worst thing, but he <em>knew</em> they wouldn't be happy with him for lying on live television.</p><p>It didn't help, either, that he mostly had to rely on his inner darkness to supply the words. His adoptive parents would hate that.</p><p>Lex couldn't eat at lunchtime; Lionel didn't, either. He spent the lunch hour berating Lex about the interview.</p><p>"Spineless. Worthless," he spat. "I used to be able to trust you to handle something like that."</p><p>"Plausible deniability, Dad. That's what you taught me."</p><p>"I taught you that the details are everything. The way you stand, the way you walk. The look in your eyes. The press can smell fear, Lex, and you—you're like a wounded animal. It's the Kents, isn't it? They're the ones who have made you weak."</p><p>"I'm not weak."</p><p>Lionel actually laughed aloud. "You've lost your edge."</p><p>"I'm as sharp as I've ever been." That was actually true enough, when it came to his own work. Getting enough sleep and ensuring his employees had the opportunity to do the same had increased productivity quite a bit.</p><p>Lionel smirked and turned away from him, walking back to a storage space in the back of the room. He returned with two foils and tossed one to Lex.</p><p>Lex swallowed. "I haven't wasted time with fencing practice in awhile, Dad."</p><p>"Nor with verbal fencing, I've noticed." He held his foil at the ready.</p><p>Lex sighed. He wasn't getting out of this. His best bet would be to lose quickly, let Lionel make whatever point he wanted to make, and move on, trying to recover lost ground.</p><p>"<em>You idiot</em>," his darkness spat. "<em>This is why he treats you the way he does. You ask for it.</em>"</p><p>Lex pushed aside the taunts and focused on the fight. He hadn't yet had a chance to try to get any information, though he could feel the wire from Loder jostle against his chest with the unexpected physical activity.</p><p>As predicted, Lex lost the match quickly, falling back as he did. He lay on his back, propped up on his elbows, his foil dropped beside him as Lionel stood over him, pressing the point of the foil hard into his chest as Lex breathed hard.</p><p>"Pathetic." Lionel raised the tip of the foil to tap at Lex's left cheek. "Weak." A tap against his right cheek.</p><p>Lex forced himself not to flinch, keeping his eyes wide open. "I'm not weak."</p><p>Lionel raised the foil high and slashed the tip against Lex's right shoulder. Fire streaked across the skin where he'd been struck, and he gasped.</p><p>"You can't do this, I'm not a <em>kid</em>," Lex said.</p><p>"Could have fooled me." Lionel landed two more loud cracks in the exact same place. Lex clenched his teeth at the first, but the growing burn forced a shout from his lips at the second.</p><p>To his horror, the fierce sting in his arm was closely followed by a mild sting in his eyes. He could <em>not </em>be crying in his father's presence. That was a cardinal sin, as far as Lionel was concerned. Lex blinked rapidly.</p><p>Another stroke fell in the same place. Lex squeezed his eyes shut, and he was nineteen again, and his father was drunk, and blows from the epee rained down all over his body, relentless, unending, unyielding . . .</p><p>He was seventeen, and he'd just suggested that maybe Julian's death had been natural, and his father's fist came out of nowhere . . .</p><p>He was sixteen, and he'd just killed Duncan, and the belt whipped long and hard against the backs of his thighs, where no one would ever see the marks. This time, he welcomed the pain, letting it purge the crippling guilt, only it still wasn't enough, nothing could ever be enough . . .</p><p>He was thirteen, and his mother had just died, and he had been crying for hours after the funeral was over, and his father played the game he'd played so many times before, refusing to stop the blows until Lex stopped his tears, but Lex couldn't stop, <em>couldn't</em> <em>stop</em> . . .</p><p>He was twelve, and his father had just caught him killing Julian . . . He was eleven, whining about how his mom was too tired from her pregnancy to spend any time with him . . . He was nine, simpering about how no one at school wanted to be friends with him now that he was a bald-headed freak . . . He was six, complaining about having to clean his room . . .</p><p>And then he was twenty-three, and his father and Mrs. Kent had just been taken hostage, and it was Lex's fault, and Mr. Kent was gripping his arm so hard it bruised, and Lex was promising he'd stay away from the Kents. And then he was a few months older, still twenty-three, and Clark was pushing him all the way across the barn, yelling for him to stay the hell away.</p><p>His mind snapped back to the present. Lex was twenty-four. His father was carving a deep stripe into that one place, on the same arm Jonathan had grabbed and Clark had shoved, and Lex wasn't fighting back.</p><p>"Don't ever, <em>ever—</em>" one last stroke in the same place on his arm, harder than the others— "forget who you are. Or who I am."</p><p>Lex hadn't forgotten. How could he forget?</p><p>His father dropped the foil and stepped back. "Get out of my sight. Come back when you're a man."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Attempted Reconciliation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lex had expected his darkness to taunt him all the way home, but in reality, his darkness didn't have to tell him he was a disappointment of a son. He knew it without having to hear it. His upper arm throbbed painfully, but that was the least of his problems—the Kents were going to see the press releases from LuthorCorp on the news tonight. Lex would to have to tell Jonathan about having manipulated the FBI before he saw the news.</p><p>Lex needed to do something good. Something that would help prove to himself he wasn't what he thought he was. He was almost back at the farm when he remembered what Clark had requested that morning, and an idea struck him. He turned around and headed toward Clark's school. It was just after 3; the students would be getting out soon. He stopped in the parking lot, entered a few numbers into the calculator on his phone, wrote out a check, and waited.</p><p>Pete was one of the last ones to exit the school building, but Lex was thankful for that. It meant they wouldn't have an audience. He didn't need a bunch of other teenagers watching.</p><p>"Pete Ross?" Lex got out of the car and stood beside it.</p><p>Pete's eyes shot up to meet Lex's. He clutched his backpack a little tighter. "What do you want?"</p><p>"I have something for you."</p><p>Pete walked over to him, keeping his eyes narrowed. He glanced down at the check Lex held out to him, but he didn't take it. "What's this?"</p><p>"That's what my father owes you. It's seventy-nine thousand dollars."</p><p>If Pete was surprised by the number, his face didn't show it. "Seventy-nine thousand?"</p><p>"It's your inheritance on the creamed corn factory."</p><p>"The factory was worth a lot more than that. How'd you get this number?"</p><p>Lex lowered the check for the moment. "You're fond of saying my father cheated yours out of the factory, but he didn't. He bought it. He just didn't pay a fair price."</p><p>"I know. That's what cheating <em>is</em>."</p><p>"Well, that's how I'm getting the number. It's the difference between what the factory was worth and what he paid for it, adjusted for inflation, with compound interest over the past fourteen years. Divided by five and rounded up to the nearest grand."</p><p>Pete's brow furrowed. "Why divided by five?"</p><p>"Because you have four siblings. This is your portion of the inheritance; none of your siblings have been complaining. Your family's done well for itself since my father short-changed you."</p><p>"You think this fixes things between us?" Pete took a step closer, his hands curling into fists. "You think you can make it up to me with <em>money?</em>"</p><p>Lex let out his breath. This wasn't making things better. "Honestly, Pete, I don't know what I have to make up to you. My father cheated yours so that he could get a foothold in Smallville. Twelve years later, he exiled me here against my will. But I've learned not to argue with people who judge me for my last name."</p><p>"Then why are you giving this to me?"</p><p>"Because Clark wanted me to help you. I'm doing this for him, not for you. As far as I'm concerned, you and I are finished. I don't owe you anything." Lex's jaw pulsed. "Then again, I never did."</p><p>"You're not real good at apologies, are you?"</p><p>Lex's patience was fast running thin. He held out the check once more. "Are you gonna take it or not?"</p><p>"What do you want from me?"</p><p>"Nothing. Just to put things right. And Clark said you ran into some trouble, and I just thought—"</p><p>Pete stiffened. "What did Clark tell you?"</p><p>Lex sighed. He should have realized that Clark hadn't meant for Pete to know he'd divulged so much. "Do you need the money or not?"</p><p>Pete scowled and accepted the check. "I still think you should leave the Kents alone."</p><p>"I'm not the one who pressured Clark into begging for twenty thousand dollars."</p><p>Pete's eyes widened. "He told you <em>everything?</em>"</p><p>No, Clark was <em>not</em> going to be happy with him. "It doesn't matter. I did what I came to do, now go do what you need to."</p><p>"Clark can't see you for who you are. But I can. Your father's like a monkey's paw. He always shows up when someone's in trouble, and he says he's going to help, and then when you least expect it, he comes back and screws you over."</p><p>"If I have my way, Pete, you and I will never see each other again."</p><p>"We will, if you ever try to hurt Clark."</p><p>Lex's shoulder gave a particularly painful throb. He glared at Pete one last time, slipped into his car, and drove off a faster than Jonathan would have ever been okay with.</p><p>By the time Lex reached the farm, he could hear his pulse in his ears, and his limbs were almost numb from the adrenaline. He went into the house for long enough to drop off his briefcase and change into some work clothes, then he went out to the barn. Physical labor often helped him to work out his anger; that was something Martha had taught him a long time ago. Clark was already working just outside, unloading hay from a truck.</p><p>"Hey." Clark took off his work gloves and came over to greet Lex. "You're home early."</p><p>"Yeah." Lex didn't stop walking. He went into the barn to grab his own pair of gloves.</p><p>Clark followed behind him. "Well, how was work?"</p><p>Lex glanced back. "What do you think, Clark?"</p><p>Clark winced. "That bad."</p><p>"I'm only there in the first place because my father manipulated me into being there, and I still haven't figured out what he wants with me, and—"</p><p>"Lionel."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Um, my dad is your dad. But you called Lionel your father."</p><p>Most days, Lex would have actually appreciated the correction. Today, he wasn't in the mood. "I had a conversation with Pete, too. I can't figure out for the life of me why you're friends with him."</p><p>"Y-you went and <em>talked</em> to Pete?"</p><p>"Realized too late you probably wouldn't want me to, but I brought him the money he needed. Quite a bit more, actually."</p><p>"You told him I told you about the street racing?"</p><p>"More or less."</p><p>"<em>Lex!</em> Pete's gonna be upset with me, I broke his trust!"</p><p>Lex couldn't bring himself to feel any guilt. "Well, you should have thought about that before you came and asked me for the money."</p><p>"I thought I could trust <em>you.</em>"</p><p>That one stung, but Lex was in no mood to lie down and take it. "That's big talk coming from the guy who lied to me for two years."</p><p>"You won't <em>let </em>me make that up to you!"</p><p>Lex ignored him. He'd already gotten started. "While we're on the subject of trust, let's talk about Pete. You told <em>him</em> your secrets?"</p><p>"I—I didn't have much of a choice—"</p><p>"He has no common sense."</p><p>"He's my best friend."</p><p>"I can sure see why." Sarcasm dripped from Lex's voice.</p><p>"<em>Lex! </em>I know being around Lionel's been hard on you, but you can't take it out on—"</p><p>"You don't know <em>anything</em>, Clark."</p><p>"LEX<em>."</em></p><p>Lex felt the blood drain from his face. That one was Jonathan. He turned slowly.</p><p>"Up to your room. I'll be there in a few minutes."</p><p>Lex's stomach flipped. He couldn't take a lecture right now. He was already hurting too much, both from Lionel's berating and from Pete's. Jonathan telling him he was disappointed would be too much. Especially because he deserved it. "Dad, I didn't—"</p><p>"Get up there now, or I will double what you've already got coming."</p><p>"Sir—"</p><p>"Now."</p><p>Lex flinched and trudged back to the house.</p><p>Up in his room, he undid the top button of his shirt in order to get to the wire Loder had given him, and he turned off the microphone. Loder didn't need to listen to Lex being soundly scolded and probably punished by his adoptive father.</p><p>Clark didn't deserve for Lex to lose his temper, but Lex didn't feel like his outburst was his fault. He would never have spoken to Clark like that if it weren't for the way Lionel was toying with his mind, weakening him. Or maybe strengthening him, from Lionel's perspective.</p><p>It felt all too much like everyone wanted something different from Lex. Clark wanted Lex to help his friend without taking credit, to lie down and take prejudice like it was nothing—and that was weakness, based on everything Lex had ever been taught. Lionel wanted to control him, but it wasn't exactly that Lionel wanted him to fail in every endeavor—Lex was pretty sure Lionel still wanted to see him do great things, just on his terms. Meanwhile, Jonathan had his own ideas of what he wanted from Lex. He wanted him to be good, and strong. But good was different from great, and strong meant something different to Lionel than it did to Jonathan and Martha, and it probably meant something different to Clark, too . . .</p><p>It was all such a mess, and the overlaps made it so difficult for Lex to keep clear in his mind who and what he wanted to be-and who and what he was.</p><p>"<em>You're overthinking this,</em>" the voice told him "<em>You already know exactly what you are</em>."</p><p>"And what am I?"</p><p>Lex immediately regretted asking. The voice spoke as though it was the most obvious thing in the world: "<em>A Luthor.</em>"</p><p>Lex let out his breath. That much, he couldn't deny.</p>
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<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Strength</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jonathan took a deep breath as he watched Lex go, then he turned back to Clark. "Are you okay, son?"</p><p>Clark nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay. I think it was a hard day for him."</p><p>"That's no excuse for what I just saw. Did you say anything to provoke him?"</p><p>"I don't think so. He was on edge as soon as he got home."</p><p>"He's back early. Did he say why?"</p><p>Clark shook his head.</p><p>"I'm going to go find out." Jonathan turned, but Clark grabbed his shoulder.</p><p>"Dad . . ." Clark's eyes pleaded. "Please go easy on him."</p><p>"I won't let him think that that kind of behavior is acceptable."</p><p>"I know. But . . . I think he's really hurting."</p><p>Jonathan forced himself to remain calm. "I'll talk to him before I do anything. But you know I wouldn't tolerate you speaking to him like that."</p><p>"If I said something like that, you'd be checking me for red kryptonite."</p><p>Jonathan breathed in to retort, but then he stopped himself. "Point taken. You okay to finish up the work out here?"</p><p>"Yeah, I got it, Dad."</p><p>"Good." Jonathan clapped his son's shoulder and started heading back toward the house. He climbed the stairs to find Lex's door closed. He knocked, but he didn't bother to wait for a reply before he stepped into the room.</p><p>If he was being honest with himself, Jonathan was already at the end of his rope when it came to his sons acting up, after the whole debacle with Clark telling Alicia his secret. It wasn't fair to Lex to start the conversation primed for an argument; he forced himself to assume the best. Lex had almost always been fairly reasonable during their discussions, so Jonathan expected to find Lex looking sad or at least somewhat repentant.</p><p>Lex's demeanor was the exact opposite. He stood up straight, stiff-backed, looking out of the window.</p><p>Jonathan cleared his throat. "I take it you've had a bad day."</p><p>Lex's jaw pulsed. "I'm fine."</p><p>"If that's the case, son, you're in a <em>lot</em> of trouble for the way I just heard you talking to your brother."</p><p>"Is that supposed to scare me?" Lex turned to look at Jonathan, his eyes daggers.</p><p>Jonathan had come up here with every intention of being gentle and patient, but Lex didn't seem to be responding to that. Jonathan's voice rose as he spoke. "Lex, I just watched you intentionally hurt your brother. You brought up mistakes you claimed were forgiven, you insulted his best friend, and when he tried to comfort you, you told him he 'doesn't know anything.' What on <em>earth</em> has gotten into you?"</p><p>Lex's glare only hardened.</p><p>Time for the big guns. Jonathan sighed, softened his voice, and said, "I'm disappointed, son."</p><p>To Jonathan's surprise, Lex merely raised his eyebrows and said, "So kick me out now."</p><p>Jonathan's breath caught in exasperation. "Is that what this is about? You <em>really</em> think I'm gonna do that?"</p><p>"Our deal ends in a week."</p><p>"That is <em>not</em> what the six months are about." Jonathan was absolutely certain Lex knew that—apparently something bad had happened with Lionel, something that had made Lex forget again. "Now, do you want to tell me what your father said to you?"</p><p>Lex actually flinched.</p><p>Jonathan sighed, his eyes falling closed. "Lionel. What <em>Lionel</em> said to you."</p><p>"It doesn't matter."</p><p>"Yes it does."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Because the minute we stop talking, he's won."</p><p>Lex's head lowered, just a bit.</p><p>Jonathan reached out to put a hand on Lex's arm, but Lex flinched and pulled away. Jonathan frowned—this was worse than he thought. "Not to belabor the obvious, son, but I'm not going to hit you."</p><p>"I know," Lex said, but his expression didn't change.</p><p>"Talk to me, Lex. It's obvious he hurt you. I want to help. You've got a fight ahead of you, and we need to make sure you stay strong."</p><p>Lex laughed wryly and looked away.</p><p>"Something funny?" Jonathan couldn't hold back the edge in his voice.</p><p>"That word. Strong."</p><p>"What about it?"</p><p>"I don't know what it means anymore. I don't know if I ever knew."</p><p>"Come on, Lex, that's not true."</p><p>"Then you tell me what it means."</p><p>The attitude in Lex's voice was rapidly dissolving Jonathan's patience—Clark would <em>never</em> have spoken to him this disrespectfully. "Watch your tone."</p><p>"Or what?"</p><p>Jonathan lost it. "Or you can bet the rest of the week is going to be unpleasant for you. You can spend the rest of the evening in here, and tomorrow evening, for as long as it takes for you to talk to me about what happened." He was all but yelling now. "I don't know what's gotten into you, but I don't like it one bit, Alexander Kent."</p><p>The slip was out before Jonathan could realize what he was saying, but this time, he didn't correct himself. Lex's eyes were wide, his bravado broken.</p><p>Maybe it was what Lex had needed to hear. Jonathan counted to ten in his head, then he started again. "I'm sorry, Lex, I know that's not your name, and . . . I'm not expecting that you're ever going to change it . . . but that's how I see you."</p><p>Lex's eyes shone, and he blinked a few times.</p><p>Jonathan ached to reach out and take his son into his arms, but Lex had just flinched away when he'd tried to take his shoulder—he doubted Lex would accept an embrace. But he was finally listening. "I love you and Clark very much, and I think of you as a good role model for him. It's disappointing to see you trying to pick a fight, and it's frustrating when you won't talk to me about why."</p><p>"Lionel told me I was weak. And worthless."</p><p>"And you <em>believed</em> him?" Jonathan said, exasperated.</p><p>Lex was quiet for a moment.</p><p>Jonathan could see in his eyes that he was holding something back. "What happened, son? You can tell me anything."</p><p>Lex shook his head. "What does it mean to be a strong man?"</p><p>Jonathan nodded slowly. Of course, Lex wasn't exaggerating when he said he didn't know. How could he know? Lionel had been his only model, and his version of strength wasn't something anyone should want to emulate. "A strong man does the right thing instead of the easy thing. He puts the people he cares about before himself."</p><p>"But that's goodness, not strength. Strength is maintaining control, winning your battles."</p><p>Jonathan shook his head. "Strength is knowing when to walk away."</p><p>"That's <em>wisdom. </em>Walking away from a battle worth fighting is weakness."</p><p>"No. Weakness is refusing to walk away from a battle that wasn't well thought out in the first place."</p><p>"Dad . . ." Lex looked him right in the eyes. "You <em>know</em> this one is worth fighting."</p><p>Jonathan took a deep breath. "I know, son. I wish it weren't."</p><p>"So when you say you want to keep me strong . . ."</p><p>"I mean that regardless of what Lionel says to you, I want you to be able to remember who you are."</p><p>Lex smirked. "Alexander Kent?"</p><p>"<em>My</em> son. No matter what your name is."</p><p>Any remaining hardness faded from Lex's expression. Jonathan tried again to reach out to take Lex's arm, but Lex flinched again, and Jonathan pulled back his hand.</p><p>Maybe Lex was still feeling guilty. They hadn't yet addressed what had happened with Clark.</p><p>Sure enough, Lex said, "Dad, we need to talk about something."</p><p>"About your brother."</p><p>"No, not about that."</p><p>"You hurt him."</p><p>"And I'll apologize to him, I promise, and if you want to, ah . . . well, I'll accept whatever you want to do about it. But there's something else I need to talk to you about."</p><p>Jonathan had originally been planning to assign a couple of days' grounding—four days, if Lex had refused to go up to his room to talk—but something about the look on Lex's face told him that whatever was going on was more important than that. If Clark wasn't really hurt, an apology might be enough this time. "Is it about the fight against Lionel?" Jonathan asked.</p><p>Lex nodded. "But I think I know what I need to do."</p><p>Jonathan didn't trust himself not to lose his temper again, and Lex needed him at his best. He wanted his wife beside him. "Should we talk about it as a family?"</p><p>Lex's brow furrowed, then he said, "That might be for the best."</p>
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<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Desperation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Regardless of what Lex had done, Clark couldn't quite stay mad at his older brother. Pete was absolutely going to kill Clark for telling a Luthor about his illegal street racing, but Lex had just been trying to help—and he probably <em>had</em> helped. Aside from the issues with Pete, though . . . Lex's harsh words had certainly stung, but then Clark remembered how much worse he had treated people when he was on red kryptonite. Being around Lionel must have been to Lex what kryptonite was to Clark. Lex had obviously been in a lot of pain.</p><p>The family meeting came as a bit of a surprise, though.</p><p>Clark took his place at the kitchen table across from Lex, beside each of his parents.</p><p>"First," Lex said, turning to Clark. "I want to apologize for the way I spoke to you earlier. It was unacceptable and uncalled for."</p><p>"It's okay, Lex," Clark said.</p><p>"It's not."</p><p>"Well, I forgive you."</p><p>Lex smiled, but his expression quickly became serious again. "After hearing from Mom about some of the experimental projects Lionel has been carrying out at LuthorCorp, I asked his permission to take over control of one of them, hoping to be able to catch him in some sort of illegal activity. He took the bait, but it was a trap. He knew the experiments were unstable. Eight people were killed the day I took control of the experiments, placing eight counts of negligent homicide on my head."</p><p>Clark's heart sank. "But it wasn't your fault! He can't do that to you!"</p><p>"It's perfectly legal, and while the murders aren't my fault, it is my fault that I didn't see his acceptance for what it was."</p><p>"Are you out on bail?" their mom asked.</p><p>"No. I called a contact of mine in the FBI and struck a deal. See, Lionel's crimes are well known, but no one's ever been able to pin him down for anything. I made a deal with an FBI agent that I'd work in Metropolis and wear a wire so that if Lionel says anything incriminating, we'll have it recorded."</p><p>"Ah . . . are you wearing it right now?" Clark asked.</p><p>"It has an off switch, Clark, it's not transmitting."</p><p>"Wait, wait." Their dad crossed his arms. "What do you mean, <em>work in Metropolis?</em>"</p><p>Lex frowned and looked at their dad for a long moment. Then he took a deep breath. "Dad . . ."</p><p>"No. You're not doing this."</p><p>"This is taking too long, and as we've learned today, I'm not holding up well. I'm not earning Lionel's trust by staying here and going to visit him once a week. Right now, he thinks he's trying to undo the 'damage' you all have done. If I move to Metropolis, he'll think he's won. That won't stop him from being a terrible father, but it'll cool him off a little. Once I'm there, I can finish this fight, and you all will be out of harm's way. I'm doing this to protect you."</p><p>The strategy made sense to Clark—if they didn't have the huge advantage of Clark's speed and strength. Lionel couldn't hurt their family while Clark was protecting it.</p><p>But his dad was already shaking his head. "I don't like it. I won't allow it."</p><p>"Our deal ends in a week, Dad."</p><p>"No. In a week, we <em>discuss</em> whether our deal should end. And I'm telling you now—"</p><p>"<em>Jonathan</em>," their mom said, then she looked at Lex. "How would this work?"</p><p>Lex kept his eyes on his dad. "I would merge my company with his and work with him in the city. Once he's in prison, I'll take control of both so that no one has to lose their jobs."</p><p>Clark could see what he was saying, but it still didn't feel worth it to him. "Lex, what if . . ." Clark winced. "What if I came with you on Mondays?"</p><p>"You're not skipping school," his dad said.</p><p>"Not permanently. Just . . . so you had someone else there with you."</p><p>Lex gave him an amused smile. "Well, I'm sure you're pretty strong from doing farm chores, Clark, but I don't think you're qualified to be a body guard."</p><p>"You'd be surprised," Clark muttered.</p><p>"Look, I appreciate your support, but I don't think there's anything you can do to help."</p><p>"Well, what <em>exactly</em> are you trying to do?"</p><p>"Clark," his mom warned.</p><p>"But really! What are you doing out there? Waiting for him to accidentally slip and mention that he killed his parents?"</p><p>"No," Lex said.</p><p>"Then <em>what?</em>"</p><p>"Right now I'm working to appease him so that he doesn't go after you or your family. Moving out there would help me to begin earning his trust. I'm sure I won't earn it to the point where he confesses to any crimes directly, but I might be able to pick up some clues about where I can find the paper trail for some of his past dealings, or make connections with people who might have been witnesses."</p><p>"So you're saying you don't have a plan."</p><p>"This <em>is</em> the plan, Clark. I don't know how it'll all end up, but—"</p><p>"Why can't someone else wear the wire? Someone who actually works there?"</p><p>"I'm not letting anyone else risk themselves for me."</p><p>"Well, we don't want you to risk <em>your</em> life!"</p><p>"Clark," his mom said.</p><p>Clark let his breath out and looked over at his mom.</p><p>She took his hand gently, then looked at Lex. "You promise me you'll come back," she said.</p><p>"Of course."</p><p>"And if you can . . . neutralize his ability to hurt anyone but get yourself out of there, you'll do it, even if that means he doesn't go to prison."</p><p>"Ah . . . I can't imagine that, but yes."</p><p>Clark's mom let go of his hand and took both of Lex's. "Look at me, sweetheart. It might be a little while before you hear these words again. So I need you to really, really listen to me, and I need you to remember what I say. Can you do that?"</p><p>Lex nodded, eyes wide.</p><p>"You're my son. You're a part of this family. You're a good man."</p><p>Lex's eyebrows knitted. "And when Lionel reminds me I'm a Luthor?"</p><p>"You <em>are</em> a Luthor. You're resourceful and clever and brilliant and curious. You're stubborn and you don't like to lose a fight. Maybe you get all of that from Lionel, but those are not bad things. It's <em>your</em> choice what you do with them. And yours alone."</p><p>"And if my darkness takes over?"</p><p>"We'll still love you. And we'll do <em>everything </em>we can do to bring you back. We will never, <em>ever</em> give up on you."</p><p>Clark could feel panic rising inside of him. This could be where the legend of Naman and Sageeth began. Lex would go fight this battle, and Lionel would hurt him, and it would change who he was. His darkness would take him over, and he would be in control of all of LuthorCorp and pick up the reign of terror where his father had left off, and Clark would have to stop him . . .</p><p>Clark wouldn't allow it.</p><p>He could change destiny. He'd done it before, and he could do it again. He was <em>not</em> going to lose his brother.</p><p>"Lex," he said. "Please let me help you."</p><p>"I'm not going to let him hurt you."</p><p>"I'll be fine."</p><p>"You can't know that," Lex said.</p><p>"Yes, I <em>can</em>."</p><p>"How?"</p><p>Clark took a deep breath and let it all burst out of him at once, before Lex could stop him. "Because I have super strength and speed. The day we met, you thought you hit me with your car—you <em>did</em>, but I survived. Lionel can't hurt me, and I can protect you from him, too."</p><p>"You—I—" Lex's voice caught in his throat.</p><p>"Lex . . . I'm an alien."</p>
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<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Alien</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Clark was an alien.</p><p>An alien. With <em>superpowers.</em></p><p>It explained so much, but it still caught Lex off guard. Despite his mom having told him that Clark wasn't a meteor rock mutant, some part of Lex's mind had still been convinced that he was. His secret was supposed to be related to the meteor rocks somehow.</p><p>As the initial shock passed, though, Lex's darkness filled his mind.</p><p>"<em>HE'S AN ALIEN. AN ALIEN. An incredibly POWERFUL alien. I KNEW you hit him with your car. And he calls you his brother—my God, he'd do any favor you asked. The things you could do with this, if you hadn't gone weak!</em>"</p><p>Lex squeezed his eyes shut, pushing back the voice with an incredible amount of effort. When he opened his eyes, he found Clark staring at him fearfully.</p><p>"Are—are we okay?"</p><p>Lex knew the look on Clark's face. Clark was afraid of Lex judging him, treating him differently. Seeing him as a freak. Lex quickly forced himself to nod, giving a light smile. "Just processing, Clark."</p><p>"It's—it's still me. Still the same old Clark."</p><p>"I know. You're still my little brother." Lex would never treat Clark differently because of this, but he didn't know how to convince Clark of that. He'd just have to prove it—though that would have to wait for when he got back from Metropolis.</p><p>Because this settled it. He had been planning to wait a week or two to move out to Metropolis. He couldn't wait—he never should have moved into the Kent home at all. Every moment was a risk until Lionel was behind bars.</p><p>Sure, having Clark's help would be an advantage—if he could keep his secret. If anything slipped, he was far more than a liability.</p><p>It wasn't worth it. As desperately as Lex wanted it to be . . . it wasn't.</p><p>"So . . . " Clark squirmed. "You don't need to move to Metropolis. You don't need to worry about defending me, Lex. I can run faster than sound, and I can lift a house."</p><p>"<em>Listen to what this boy can do. </em><em>You're really going to sit on this. You're going to do nothing about it.</em>"</p><p>Clark went on, "And I can—"</p><p>"Please," Lex said, wincing, "don't tell me any more."</p><p>The hurt in Clark's eyes pierced Lex to the core.</p><p>Lex put a hand on Clark's shoulder. "No, don't get me wrong, Clark. It's amazing, it's the most incredible thing I've ever heard in my life. But the more I know . . ." Lex didn't want to admit how strongly his darkness was fighting him. "The more I have to lose."</p><p>"But . . . Lex, you don't have to worry about me getting hurt. Let me help you with your fight."</p><p>Lex almost smiled at Clark's innocence. "How do you expect to help with this, Clark?"</p><p>"I can protect you, I can fight off guards. I can break into anything and speed away without getting caught."</p><p>Lex's breath caught in exasperation. "It's not that kind of fight, Clark! It's not like Lionel has a vault guarding all of his secrets surrounded by an army you can fight your way through."</p><p>"But—"</p><p>"Even if there was, LuthorCorp is crawling with guards, and there are security cameras everywhere. How do you expect to run in and get what you need without being seen?"</p><p>"I've done pretty well so far."</p><p>Lex shook his head. "No. I'm not letting you risk yourself for this."</p><p>"<em>You're </em>risking <em>your</em>self for this!"</p><p>"That's different."</p><p>"How?"</p><p>"I'm an adult, for one thing. This is my fight. I've been playing this game with Lionel since I was a teenager, and even before then. And there's less at stake for me than there is for you."</p><p>"Are you saying my life is worth more than yours?"</p><p><em>Yes. A thousand times, yes</em>. "Clark, if Lionel found out your secret, can you imagine what he'd do with that?"</p><p>"<em>Lionel wouldn't hesitate to use this to defeat you. And you're refusing to use this advantage. Clark is OFFERING to help, and you won't even let him.</em>"</p><p>Clark shook his head. "I won't let that happen."</p><p>"How can you help it?"</p><p>"I <em>told</em> you. I'm strong, and fast, and invulnerable. And I have X-ray vision, and I can set things on fire with my eyes."</p><p>Lex blinked a couple of times—he hadn't expected those last few.</p><p>"Come on, Lex. You've got to admit, having me there would be an advantage."</p><p>"You're right. It would. But I'm not taking you. This is my fight, and it's the fight against one person. You can use your powers to do so much more."</p><p>"I told you my secret so you wouldn't have to be afraid!"</p><p>"Clark," Lex said, "I appreciate your honesty, but you've just told me exactly how high the stakes are. I'm more afraid now than ever."</p><p>"Are you afraid he'll experiment on me?"</p><p>Lex almost laughed. "That's the least of it. He'll make you into a weapon."</p><p>"How's he going to make me do anything?"</p><p>"I've seen you get hurt before. You must have weaknesses."</p><p>"Well, yeah, I guess," Clark said. "Whenever—"</p><p>"Stop, stop!" Lex held up his hands—he didn't want his darkness to hear any more. It already knew too much. "I don't need to know."</p><p>"<em>YOU IDIOT.</em>" The darkness raged with such intense anger, Lex could barely hold himself together.</p><p>Clark's brow furrowed. "You don't have to do this alone, Lex."</p><p>"If Lionel figures out your weaknesses, he'll use them against you."</p><p>"Then I'll make sure he never finds out about my weakness."</p><p>Lex's eyes darted from his mom to his dad. "He already knows about two of them."</p><p>Clark looked at his parents, then back at Lex. "I can protect them."</p><p>"One slip, Clark. You take your eyes off of them for <em>one</em> minute, and they're gone. There's so much more at stake if you get mixed up in all of this."</p><p>"Yeah? Then tell me, what happens if your darkness takes over?"</p><p>Lex's jaw clenched—Clark had a point there. "I'm trying to end this before it can."</p><p>"No." Clark stood up, crossing his arms. "I won't let you do this. I'll stop you, I'll follow you out there, I'll—"</p><p>"Clark, stop." That one was Dad.</p><p>Clark turned to his dad. "Help me out. Please."</p><p>"Dad." Lex looked his father right in the eyes. "I can do this. You have to believe me."</p><p>His father sighed heavily, running his hand down his face. "Lex . . . I understand you don't want to get Clark involved. But I'm not sure it's safe for you to move out there and try to fight this yourself."</p><p>Lex winced. "Mom?"</p><p>His mom sighed. "I'm not going to lie to you, Lex. I don't like it."</p><p>He hung his head. He was going to have to do this without their support. That would make it so much harder to hold on.</p><p>"But," she said, ". . . we don't have to like it."</p><p>Lex blinked a couple of times.</p><p>"You're an adult," his mom said, "and you know Lionel. You're incredibly clever, and we should be thanking you for being brave and wanting to protect our family."</p><p>"<em>Martha,</em>" his dad said.</p><p>"Jonathan, are you listening to him?" his mom said. "He's going to do this anyway! Do you want him to go out there thinking we don't support him?"</p><p>"I don't want him to <em>go!</em>"</p><p>"It's not up to you!"</p><p>"Mom. Dad." Lex grimaced—it was uncomfortable hearing other people argue about him. "We can restart the deal when I come back. If I have to live here for another six months or a year or—or however long you want, I will, and you can . . ."</p><p>"Put the pieces back together," his mom said.</p><p>Lex nodded. "If you love me, please . . ." His eyes fell closed. "Don't make me go on bad terms."</p><p>His dad's jaw clenched, and he stood from the table and stalked out of the house.</p><p>The air rushed out of Lex's lungs. He turned to his brother. "Clark. Please."</p><p>Clark's eyes shone, and he disappeared from the table in a flash—a gust of wind hit Lex as Clark passed, and his heart skipped.</p><p>His mom reached out and took his hand in hers. "I believe in you, sweetie. I'm guessing you'll need to make some preparations?"</p><p>"Ah. Yeah." Lex felt like his chest had been carved out.</p><p>"Go take care of whatever you need to do. I'll talk to your dad and your brother, and you can say good bye to them right before you go."</p><p>Lex let his breath out. It was the best she could give him—he owed so much to her already. "Thanks, Mom."</p><p>"And come back and say good bye to me, too."</p><p>"I will."</p><p>"You're a good man," she said, and she squeezed his shoulder.</p><p>He winced, caught off guard—his arm was still incredibly tender where Lionel had whipped him.</p><p>Her grip loosened, and her fingers ran over the swollen skin through his sleeve. "Did you get hurt?"</p><p>"It's nothing."</p><p>She took one look at his face and crossed her arms. "I'm not going to force you to talk about it if you don't want to, but you do <em>not</em> lie to me."</p><p>Lex clenched his teeth. "It's not that bad."</p><p>"Are you lying <em>again?</em>"</p><p>He looked away. He wanted to argue that <em>bad</em> was a relative term, but it didn't seem like a good time.</p><p>"Let me see it."</p><p>He sighed and unbuttoned his shirt, peeling it away and draping it over his chair. He hadn't actually looked at the mark Lionel had left a few hours ago. It was a mottled purple and red, swollen badly.</p><p>His mom's expression darkened. "Lionel," she said.</p><p>"It's really not that bad." He picked up his shirt and began to carefully slip it back on.</p><p>"Do you have any idea—" her voice broke— "how much <em>worse</em> it is to hear you say that? If that's not that bad . . . what has he done to you in the past?"</p><p>She had a point. He softened his voice. "Okay, it's bad. You're right, I was lying."</p><p>She glared at him. "I wish you wouldn't lie to me."</p><p>"I'm sorry, Mom." He gave a light smile. "You wanna wash out my mouth with soap?"</p><p>"Very funny." She stood and walked to the freezer, kneeling down to grab a bag of frozen vegetables. She wrapped it in a dish towel and handed it to him. He placed it on his shoulder, even though it didn't really hurt as long as he didn't try to move it. Her eyes shone, and she sniffled.</p><p>It seemed like a massive overreaction to him. He had a single bruise, and she was crying. "Are you okay, Mom?"</p><p>"I'm sorry. I just . . . I feel so helpless." She sank down into the chair across from him.</p><p>It hit him at once. "You're not used to this. You don't have to worry about Clark getting hurt, because he <em>can't</em> be hurt."</p><p>His mom laughed lightly and rubbed at her yes. "Maybe."</p><p>Lex leaned back a little in his chair and held the cold pack a little more loosely. "You care so much."</p><p>"Of course I do. You're my son."</p><p>His eyes stung. "If there was another way . . . if I could avoid leaving you . . ."</p><p>"I know." She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "But that's the price of having a hero as a son."</p><p>It took him a moment to realize she wasn't talking about Clark. This time, though, he didn't correct her. He just slid his chair closer to hers and rested his head on her shoulder.</p>
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<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Settling Affairs</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lex went to visit Chloe and her father first.</p><p>He waited until after work hours, but he didn't bother with pretenses. He went right up to the front door of the Sullivan residence and knocked.</p><p>Gabe was the one who answered the door. "Lex?"</p><p>Lex smiled. Some of his employees had taken longer than others to be comfortable calling him by his first name—Gabe had needed a lot of reminders early on. "Evening, Gabe. So sorry to disturb you after hours, I hope you know I would never bother you if it weren't important."</p><p>"Oh, it's okay. Please, come in."</p><p>"I can't stay. I just need a minute of your time."</p><p>"Sure. Is everything alright?"</p><p>"Everything's fine. I'll be sending out a memo in the morning, but I wanted you to be the first of my employees to know that I'm going to be working out of Metropolis for a little while."</p><p>A series of emotions filled Gabe's face: shock, then worry, then mere confusion. "I—I don't know what to say, boss. Congratulations or condolences?"</p><p>"A bit of both, I suppose. I know it's going to be a big change, but it's temporary. In the meantime, I'm promoting you."</p><p>"A-again?"</p><p>"You've earned it. You're going to be overseeing all operations in my absence. I'm prepared to offer you a significant raise as well. You'll keep the higher salary and many of your new leadership responsibilities when I return."</p><p>Gabe stumbled over his words. "Ah—thank you, sir!"</p><p>Lex gave a slight smile. "I'm afraid the offer comes with some strings attached."</p><p>Gabe shook his head. "If you need a favor, name it, Lex. After everything you've done for us?"</p><p>Lex took a deep breath. "You're a likable guy. The other employees admire you, look up to you. They take cues from you, and with your new position, you'll have even more influence over the morale and culture of the workplace."</p><p>"Uh . . . I guess."</p><p>"There's a good chance that in the coming weeks, you're going to start hearing about a merger between LexCorp and LuthorCorp."</p><p>"Oh." Gabe grimaced.</p><p>Lex nodded. "That's how I'm expecting most of my employees to react. I don't want them to worry."</p><p>"You're going to stop the merger?"</p><p>"I'm going to ensure it."</p><p>Gabe shook his head. "Lex, I don't—"</p><p>"I need you to trust me on this. It's a good thing. When employees start asking about it, I want you to assure them of that. I can't have a mass exodus on my hands, and I don't want panic or hysteria. I want the transition to be as smooth as possible."</p><p>Gabe just stared at him for a long time.</p><p>Lex sighed. "To be clear, the promotion and the raise are not contingent on your agreement. You'll have them both whether you agree to help me or not."</p><p>"Okay. I trust you, and I'll do my best."</p><p>Lex gave him a slight smile. "I appreciate that."</p><p>Gabe looked him right in the eyes. "You've earned it, boss."</p><p>Lex let his breath out as silently as he could—this was a huge weight off his shoulders. "Is Chloe around? I was hoping to speak with her, if you don't mind."</p><p>"Chloe?" Gabe's eyes narrowed. "What's she got to do with this?"</p><p>"Nothing, it's actually about Clark." That wasn't quite a lie. It was far from the whole truth, but Lex wasn't sure how much Chloe usually shared with her father about her various investigations, and it wasn't Lex's place to get involved with any of that.</p><p>"I'll go get her." Gabe left the door open and disappeared down the hall. Lex tucked his hands into his pockets and tried to ignore how cold the night was.</p><p>Chloe appeared in the doorway a moment later, curiosity in her eyes. "Lex, is Clark alright?"</p><p>"Clark's fine. I told your father this was about Clark because I wasn't sure how much he knew about your involvement with Li—my father." Lex figured it was better to keep the fact that he'd switched to calling his biological father by first name to himself and the Kents.</p><p>"This is about him?"</p><p>"I've struck a deal with an FBI agent. I'm going to go work for my father in Metropolis to see if I can take him down."</p><p>Chloe blinked a few times. "That explains the press conference I just saw on the news."</p><p>Lex nodded. "I just thought you had the right to know. But I also wanted to bring you a warning."</p><p>"Warning?"</p><p>He put a hand on her shoulder. "I want you to stay out of this."</p><p>She shook her head. "Lex, if I can do some digging and help you—"</p><p>"I don't want you to. I'm leaving Clark and his family to move out to Metropolis. I need you to look after Clark for me, and to do that, you need to stay alive."</p><p>Chloe swallowed. "Clark said you'd become close. He said you were like brothers."</p><p>"In every way but in blood." Lex had once briefly believed he and Clark might be related biologically—only now did he realize how ridiculous that notion had been. But even if they had been related by blood, Lex couldn't have loved Clark any more. "You're a good friend to him. I know that can't be easy."</p><p>"What makes you say that?" Her brow furrowed.</p><p>It didn't fool Lex, not by a long shot. "Because you wish you were more."</p><p>Her head dropped. "Is it that obvious?"</p><p>"Hang in there, Chloe," Lex said. Clark had actually said that Chloe might respond well to his secret, if he were to reveal it to her. Lex wasn't sure if there could ever be anything between them, but he did think Chloe had a better chance than Lana.</p><p>Chloe shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "Um, Lex?"</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>She bit her lip. "Be careful, okay?"</p><p>He couldn't bring himself to smile.</p><hr/><p>Lex arrived at the Talon as Lana was cleaning up for the night. She smiled brightly at him as he entered. "Hi, Lex!"</p><p>"Evening, Lana."</p><p>She lifted a chair onto a table. "Um, almost everything's cleared away, but I haven't shut down the cappuccino machine. If you want anything—"</p><p>"No, no. I just came to see you."</p><p>A bit of confusion filled her eyes, though her smile didn't fade. "Something couldn't wait for our meeting?"</p><p>Lex took a step closer to her. "Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about."</p><p>This time her face fell. "You can't make it?"</p><p>"I'm moving to Metropolis."</p><p>Her eyes widened, and her mouth fell open. "Oh!"</p><p>"Yeah." Lex leaned against a table. This wasn't getting any easier. "It should be temporary, but I can't say how long."</p><p>"Um. So . . . when are you going?"</p><p>"Tomorrow."</p><p>"<em>Wow</em>. O-okay." Lana lowered the chair she had just put up and sat down. "I, uh . . . well, I'm gonna . . . I'll . . ."</p><p>"I'll miss you, too."</p><p>Lana lowered her head, sadness in her eyes. "Well, what about . . ." She gestured around herself.</p><p>"Right. I have something for you." He sat down across from her, reached into the inner pocket in his jacket, and took out an envelope, placing it down on the table.</p><p>She picked up the envelope and slipped the paper out. Her jaw dropped as she read it. "Lex, I . . . I can't take this."</p><p>"You have to. It's a gift."</p><p>"This says you're <em>giving </em>me your share of the Talon."</p><p>"I won't have any use for it." If Lex won this fight, he would have his hands full with LuthorCorp. If he lost, there would be worse issues to deal with. And if he won the fight against Lionel but lost the fight against his inner darkness, giving Lana her independence was the best way to protect her.</p><p>"But—but I'm still in high school."</p><p>"Yes, but you're eighteen." He smirked. "Start kindergarten late?"</p><p>"Well, yes, but . . . but I'm not sure if I'm even . . . I mean, I might—"</p><p>"Move to France and attend Paris School of the Arts?"</p><p>Her breath caught. "How did you know about that?"</p><p>"If you wanted it to be a secret, you shouldn't have left your application lying around."</p><p>Lana laughed, her nose wrinkling. "It's not a sure thing, I don't know if I'll even get in."</p><p>"I'm sure you will." He'd already pulled the strings to ensure her acceptance. She'd been through a lot, and she'd come so far—she deserved this. "Which means you'll have a choice to make."</p><p>"Which is?"</p><p>"Stay and run the Talon, or sell it for the tuition money."</p><p>She nodded slowly, letting her breath out. "What should I do?"</p><p>"That's up to you. This is the only help I can give."</p><p>She hesitated a moment, then stepped into his arms. "I don't know how to thank you."</p><p>Lex hugged her gently, resting his face in her hair for a moment. He wanted to tell her that he was the one who should be thanking her, that it had been a breath of fresh air to have a business partner so committed to honesty, so innocent to the underhanded, manipulative tactics Lex faced every day from his competitors and from Lionel. He wanted to explain to her that Clark had never meant to harm her, to reassure her that he would have given anything to be honest with her. He wanted to praise her, to gush about he was proud of her for how far she had come.</p><p>But he couldn't find the words, so he fell back on a gesture he'd once seen in a movie when he was very young. He pulled back, took her hand in his, lightly pressed his lips against the back of her fingers, and left the Talon.</p>
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<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Good Bye</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey all! This fic hasn't taken a hiatus since October, and my carefully built queue of pre-written chapters has finally run out. I need a month to regroup and work out the details of the ending. This story will resume in May 2021! (It'll be the only story on hiatus in April)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lex spent the evening at the mansion packing, and the night tossing and turning in his bed at the Kent house while the darkness taunted him about how he should use Clark's powers to his own advantage. It was easy enough to ignore on its own, but he knew Clark would be arguing for its side by the time he went to say good bye.</p><p>When the first rays of sunlight came through his window, he gave up trying to sleep and went downstairs to the kitchen. His mom was already awake, peeling apples at the sink. He approached her quietly, and she turned to greet him. She smiled gently, continuing to peel the apples. "Morning, sweetheart," she said softly.</p><p>"Morning, Mom."</p><p>They were silent for a moment. She didn't make any attempts to come toward him or embrace him, and he didn't step toward her. He couldn't quite bring himself to meet her eyes.</p><p>Finally, she set down her peeler. "Any ideas when you might get back?"</p><p>He'd been afraid she would ask. "If I get lucky, I might wrap this up in a month or two."</p><p>"And if you don't get lucky?"</p><p>"I won't come back at all."</p><p>Her eyes sparkled. "You think he'll kill you?"</p><p>"He'll try. There's also a chance I might not come back . . . as me."</p><p>"We still won't give up on you."</p><p>His breath caught. "You will. You <em>should</em>."</p><p>"I made you a promise, Lex.</p><p>"You don't know what it's like. You don't know what I'll become."</p><p>She looked down and took his hand. "Can I tell you something about Clark? It's not dangerous for you to know."</p><p>"Do I need to know?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>He nodded. He trusted her completely. "Okay."</p><p>She gently stroked the back of his hand with her thumb as she spoke. "You remember the Nicodemus plant that infected Jonathan and Lana and a few others?"</p><p>"That was my fault," he said. It had been one of the most shameful weeks of his life.</p><p>"I doubt that." She raised an eyebrow. "Anyway, that's not the point. There's a . . . drug, sort of, that has a similar effect on Clark's . . . species. It makes him reckless and spontaneous. There was a week when he stole all of our credit cards and tried to get you to run away with him—"</p><p>"He was on <em>drugs?</em>"</p><p>"That time, it was an accident. We didn't know any better. This last summer, after my . . . miscarriage—" her voice softened after that word— "he drugged himself on purpose. For three months."</p><p>Lex felt his mouth hanging open, but he didn't care. He couldn't have spoken if he'd wanted to.</p><p>"He ran away to Metropolis. He stole, a lot. He hurt people, and we thought we had lost him. We thought he was gone, that we'd never see him again. We'd lost the baby, and you, and him, and then we lost the farm . . ." Her eyes filled with tears.</p><p>"Mom, I—I had no idea." Lex pulled her into his arms.</p><p>His mom gripped onto him, shaking, for a brief moment before she pulled away and held his shoulders. "I'm sorry, I—I didn't mean to, um . . . What I'm trying to say is . . . Clark's done some things he can't take back. But we'll always take <em>him</em> back."</p><p>"He's your son."</p><p>"And so are you."</p><p>Lex nodded, eyes stinging. "I understand."</p><p>She pulled him in for one last hug, and he let his eyes fall closed. Over the months, he'd allowed himself to become used to this—not quite to take it for granted, but he certainly didn't savor every embrace the way he did when his place in their family was new, or when he first returned from the island. Now, he felt her arms around him as though her embrace was new to him again, and he felt his tears fall.</p><p>His mom patted him on the back when he finally let go. "I love you, sweetie."</p><p>"I love you too, Mom."</p><p>"Your father is out back, and your brother's in the loft."</p><p>He nodded and left the house for the last time in awhile.</p><hr/><p>Lex went to visit his dad first. His father was down on his hands and knees in the dirt, pulling weeds. He didn't look up when Lex approached him.</p><p>"Dad?"</p><p>His dad yanked out a nasty weed, taking the root with it. "Lionel hurt you, didn't he? Physically. Yesterday."</p><p>Lex swallowed. "Mom tell you?"</p><p>"No." He threw aside the weed.</p><p>"How did you know?"</p><p>"The way you were flinching, the-the sudden decision to move out to Metropolis."</p><p>Lex hung his head.</p><p>His dad's eyes pierced his. "Why didn't you tell me?"</p><p>"He'd already hurt me. Telling you would just mean you would suffer, too."</p><p>"That's what family <em>does</em>."</p><p>"Then I still have a lot to learn."</p><p>His father stood, taking off his gloves and dropping them on the ground. "Son, do you think he'll stop hurting you if you move out there?"</p><p>"No, I don't." Lex was under no impression that Lionel would <em>stop</em> hurting him. The eleven years since his mother's death, twelve since Julian's, fifteen since he'd lost his hair, twenty-four since he was born . . . they had proven that. But Lionel was more on his guard with Lex commuting from Smallville, and he seemed to feel the need to make up for lost time when he knew Lex was spending time with the Kents.</p><p>Of course, those reasons had all faded into the background as soon as Lex had learned Clark's secret. Protecting him was the most important thing.</p><p>"But . . ." Lex licked his lips, searching for the words. "I have to go anyway. I know it's all a game, and I know it's rigged against me, but I feel like I've been playing with only one hand. And it's <em>important</em>. I have to win this, and it's too dangerous to bring Clark into it."</p><p>His dad looked him right in the eyes. "Son?"</p><p>"Yes, Dad?"</p><p>"Do what you need to do. I trust you. Heck, I'd have trusted you whether you decided to bring Clark along or not. You've <em>earned</em> my trust. And I'm sorry that it took more effort on your part than it should have."</p><p>Lex nodded, his eyes stinging, and he stepped into his father's open arms. He tried to remain strong, gripping firmly but briefly, but he felt more like a scared child clinging to his dad for dear life.</p><p>His dad let go and clapped him on the shoulder. "You come home in one piece, do you hear me? That's an <em>order</em>."</p><p>"Or what?" Lex smiled. "You'll ground me?"</p><p>His father returned the smile. "For the rest of your life."</p><hr/><p>Clark was lying on his back on the couch in the loft, throwing and catching a tennis ball.</p><p>Lex approached the top of the stairs slowly. He waited a moment to see if Clark would acknowledge him before saying, "Hey, Clark. I'm heading out."</p><p>Clark just kept throwing and catching the ball.</p><p>"Just, uh, came to say . . ." Lex swallowed. He couldn't actually get the word out.</p><p>Clark still didn't say anything. He didn't even look toward Lex.</p><p>Lex sighed, walked over to where Clark was, and lowered himself down onto the couch opposite from Clark, lying on his back and staring up at the wooden rafters. He wished he knew what to say to his little brother—Clark had thought revealing his secret would convince Lex to stay, and it had only convinced him to move out sooner. Lex didn't know how to convey to him that he wasn't rejecting him.</p><p>It didn't matter. It was more important that Clark was safe than that he knew how much Lex loved him.</p><p>Clark let his breath out. "Remember when Earl Jenkins broke into the plant and took all those people hostage?"</p><p>"Yeah?" Lex smiled a little at the memory—it had been a painful day, but it was the first time Clark's mom had invited him over for dinner. It had been the start of his journey to become a Kent.</p><p>"There was a brick wall in front of the elevator that lead to Level 3. I broke through it with my fists. If I hadn't done that, you might have died."</p><p>Lex swallowed hard. "I probably would have."</p><p>It was quiet again for a long time.</p><p>Finally, Clark said, "Remember when that Talon contractor kidnapped you and had you tied up in Club Zero, and he pushed you over a balcony?"</p><p>"Yeah. Of course."</p><p>"You were going to hit the tile. I pushed a couch under you so you'd land on a soft surface, sped up to the balcony to knock out the contractor, then ran back to the door and jogged in so you'd think I just arrived.</p><p>Lex nodded. He'd always wondered how he had survived that one. "I guess I should be thanking you."</p><p>"I'd rather you be <em>trusting </em>me. I know I've lied to you a lot—"</p><p>"I don't blame you at all, you were right to."</p><p>"—but . . . I've helped you so many times. I can help you again."</p><p>"<em>LISTEN TO HIM</em>," Lex's darkness hissed at him. "<em>He's your brother, for crying out loud, LISTEN.</em>"</p><p>Lex turned his head to face Clark. He was still lying on his back, throwing and catching the tennis ball. Lex smiled a little and looked back up at the ceiling. "Remember Victoria?"</p><p>"Your girlfriend?"</p><p>"Yeah, for a little while. She was trying to take over Lionel's company. I turned her plans against her and took over her father's."</p><p>"<em>Wow</em>. That's what that was all about?"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"Wow."</p><p>"She was one of many. Not girlfriends—well, that too, but . . . one of many people I fought. Remember the mayor who just lost the election?"</p><p>"I think so."</p><p>"He was corrupt. I drove him out of office to protect the town. To protect you."</p><p>Clark scowled and tossed the tennis ball a little higher. "Are you trying to say you don't need me?"</p><p>"It's not that." Lex took a deep breath. "Managing the plant has meant going head to head with quite a few adversaries. Reporters, competitors, criminals—"</p><p>"Lex, I had no idea."</p><p>"<em>You could do so much more. The power you could both wield . . .</em>"</p><p>"It wasn't always easy, but I always knew I could win." Lex sat up and face Clark, who caught the tennis ball and looked toward him. "But the war with Lionel just keeps going. He's always one step ahead of me, and I never know if I'm going to come out on top. He's the one adversary I can't beat. The one person I can't protect you from."</p><p>Clark threw the tennis ball across the barn and sat up. "Then let me help!"</p><p>"Do you know what's going to happen over the next few weeks?"</p><p>Clark just stared, fuming.</p><p>"First, Lionel will take some time to evaluate whether I've really changed, or if I'm just playing with him. He'll probably test me. It's going to get ugly. When he starts to trust me, he'll allow our companies to merge. He'll take over full control, and I'll walk a tight rope with every choice I make to evade his suspicion but also avoid doing anything that would make our parents ashamed of me. And all the while, I've got to keep my dark side from taking over—and that's harder than it sounds, since it would do a much better job in this fight than I will."</p><p>"Lex—"</p><p>"No, Clark, that's just the start. Once I have the evidence I need to make a good case against him, I'll have to find a way to protect any witnesses, along with the full jury."</p><p>"He can't hurt them from in prison, can he?"</p><p>"Prison will take away a lot of his power, but it won't all go away at once. He has people on the outside who will remain loyal to him until they're sure he's really gone for good. He'll probably send somebody to kill me, and he'll send assassins after anyone who he thinks helped me."</p><p>"He can't hurt me."</p><p>"<em>The kid is INVULNERABLE.</em>"</p><p>"I know that now." Lex couldn't quite push back the darkness's voice anymore. "I was going to move away to make sure he doesn't come after you, but now I know it's more than that. He won't try to hurt you. He'll <em>weaponize</em> you, and that's so much worse."</p><p>"<em>Then weaponize him before your father gets the chance!</em>"</p><p>"He won't find out my secret," Clark said.</p><p>"You don't know Lionel. I've already called too much attention to your family as it is. But if I go now, he'll think that I gave up on you. He'll figure I discovered your secret, and whatever it was, it wasn't a big deal. It wasn't worth staying to investigate or exploit."</p><p>"You would never take advantage of me."</p><p>"Don't be so sure, Clark."</p><p>"You're stronger than your darkness."</p><p>"<em>He trusts you. And you won't even take advantage of it. Time was, you knew how to use your resources. You're an imbecile.</em>"</p><p>"Lionel disagrees. He knows I'm different from him, but he also knows my darkness, and if he knew your secret, he would know <em>exactly</em> what the darkness is saying <em>right now</em> about what I should do with your trust."</p><p>Clark's face fell. "It's that bad?"</p><p>"<em>This is pathetic. The things I'm going to do when I get control . . ."</em></p><p>Lex shuddered. "Clark, Mom and Dad promised they'd never give up on me, but . . . I need you to make me a different promise."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I need you to promise me you <em>will</em>."</p><p>Clark shifted his weight. "W-what do you mean?"</p><p>"If I make it out of this alive, but I'm not the same person I was when I went in, you need to promise me you'll fight me. I'd rather die than hurt you. Kill me if you have to."</p><p>"<em>No!</em>" Clark stood up. "I'd <em>never!</em>"</p><p>Lex stood as well. "Clark, do you love me?"</p><p>"<em>Yes!</em>"</p><p>"Then promise me."</p><p>"No!"</p><p>"<em>Damn it</em>, Clark, you said you wanted to help me, now <em>promise!</em>"</p><p>Clark's face crumpled. He buried his face in his hands, and his shoulders shook with sobs.</p><p>Crippling guilt washed over Lex. After everything, he'd forgotten that Clark was only sixteen.</p><p>"Hey, hey." Lex reached out and folded his little brother—who was taller than he was—into his arms, rubbing his back in gentle circles. "I'm sorry."</p><p>"Please don't go. <em>P</em><em>lease</em>."</p><p>"I have to."</p><p>Clark wrapped his arms tightly around Lex, and it occurred to Lex for the first time that he was holding back his strength. He could have snapped Lex's spine like a tooth pick if he'd wanted to.</p><p>Lex sighed and rested his head on Clark's shoulder. "I love you, too."</p><p>Clark let go and wiped at his tears. "Call us as often as you can."</p><p>"I'll try." Lex didn't know how much he'd be able to spare his attention away from his mission, and contacting the Kents would be a huge risk, but completely breaking communication to them would be a risk to his own health as well. "You take care of Mom and Dad."</p><p>"I will."</p><p>"Alright then. I'm trusting you."</p><p>Clark gave him a very slight smile through bloodshot eyes, and Lex left the barn.</p>
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<a name="section0034"><h2>34. Return</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And we're back! (A day late, my apologies.) But this book is now outlined in its entirety. Barring further changes, you can expect a total of 42 chapters and an epilogue in this book. </p><p>I always enjoy reading your thoughts if you have them!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lex almost forgot to turn back on his wire from Loder when he entered the LuthorCorp building.</p><p>He could see from the look in Lionel's eyes that he had not expected Lex to return so soon. It had been less than twenty-four hours since the incident with the foil; Lex's shoulder was just about as sore as it had been the day before.</p><p>Lionel sat at his desk, but two employees in suits stood before him. Lex could tell he'd caught him in the middle of one of his morning meetings, but he didn't care. It would be easy enough for Lionel to reschedule.</p><p>Lex kept his head high, his shoulders back, his face straight. The way Luthors were supposed to carry themselves. "I hope I'm not interrupting," he said.</p><p>Lionel's eyes remained on Lex as he spoke to his employees: "We'll pick this back up at the end of the work day, gentlemen," he said, and both of the men filed out of the office, barely sparing a glance at Lex as they passed.</p><p>Lex watched them go, but as soon as they were gone, his eyes fell on his biological father.</p><p>"Well?" Lionel asked.</p><p>"You were right."</p><p>Lionel's eyebrows raised. "Pardon me, what was that?"</p><p>It grated to have to say it again. "You were right."</p><p>"May I call in a, ah, record keeper to mark the date and time?"</p><p>"If you like. But I won't say it a third time."</p><p>Lionel smirked and stood, coming around in front of his desk. "Might I request the honor of knowing which of our many battles I've won?"</p><p>"About the Kents."</p><p>"What about them?"</p><p>"Everything. About why I was spending time with them, about my suspicions with regards to Clark." Lex looked down for a moment before meeting Lionel's gaze again. "And that it was a waste of my time. They were stringing me along, just like you've been saying."</p><p>Lionel's eyes widened. "You found out their secrets, then."</p><p>"If one could even call them that. I should have known. They shroud themselves in mystery, piquing the curiosity of everyone around them, but it's all a charade in the end."</p><p>"Care to enlighten me?"</p><p>"If you have questions, I'm happy to make an attempt at satisfying your curiosity. But there's not much to tell."</p><p>"I see." Lionel walked over to his decanter and began to pour himself a drink.</p><p>"I'm cutting my losses while I can. Because you were right about me, as well."</p><p>"You've lost your edge."</p><p>"Yes." Lex swallowed. "Yesterday taught me that."</p><p>"So you came here." Lionel recapped the decanter.</p><p>Lex took a deep breath and began the speech he had rehearsed. "Dad, you taught me that Luthors don't ask for help, but . . . I'm asking for yours. I have so much to learn from you. All the tests you put me through . . . made me a survivor. If I keep my pride in check, I know there's more to learn from you." His heart pounded so hard, he couldn't help but worry Lionel would somehow hear it. "I was hoping your offer still stands to run LuthorCorp together."</p><p>Lionel had lifted the glass to his lips, but at this, he lowered it without taking a drink. "Lex, I, um . . . I don't want you to be making a hasty decision. I know the ordeal with the Kents must have been traumatic for you."</p><p>"You taught me to trust my instincts," Lex said. "And I'm ready to keep learning."</p><p>Lionel set down the glass and gave Lex a hard stare. "You're proposing a merger."</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>He nodded. "Let's give it a little time," he said. "In the meantime, I'm happy to have you working with me in Metropolis, assuming you're able to do what you need from here?"</p><p>"I've already delegated my on-site responsibilities at the plant."</p><p>"Good." Lionel reached out and took Lex's hand, covering it with the other. "It's good to have you back, son."</p><p>If Lex didn't know better, he might have suspected there was a hint of pride in Lionel's voice.</p><p>Lex took one last risk, one that could save him weeks of groveling if it paid off. He slowly stepped toward Lionel and gently rested his chin on his shoulder, wrapping both arms around him.</p><p>Lionel hesitated, but then his arms came to rest lightly around his back, poison and apathy and contempt in his touch.</p><p>It shouldn't have hurt. Lex should have been stronger and more secure than that by now. The Kents were so much more than enough for him, and Jonathan had filled a huge space in his heart.</p><p>But it wasn't quite the exact same space Lionel's rejection had left behind. As long as he lived, Lex would never quite be able to stop himself from wanting Lionel to love him.</p><hr/><p>Clark never would have told his parents how hard he cried after Lex left the loft.</p><p>It didn't last terribly long. He comforted himself with the knowledge that Lex would be coming back—he had promised he would—and that Lionel would go to prison. Then Clark and his parents and Lex would all be a family again.</p><p>Still, Clark couldn't get that last request out of his head:</p><p>
  <em>If I make it out of this alive, but I'm not the same person I was when I went in, you need to promise me you'll fight me. I'd rather die than hurt you. Kill me if you have to.</em>
</p><p>Clark knew he would never hurt Lex. He'd do anything before betraying his brother. But if Lex's dark side really did take over, would Lex even still <em>be</em> his brother? Or would he be a different person, an enemy Clark needed to fight or even kill? Clark didn't want to fight Lex, even if it was Lex's dark side, but what if it was something he couldn't control—destiny, even?</p><p>Clark pushed the thought aside. Destiny or no destiny, Clark would never so much as raise a hand to Lex's dark side if there was even a tiny chance that the brother he loved was still in there somewhere.</p><p>Clark only just managed to get through his classes that morning, though he didn't think he would remember anything his teachers said. He didn't have many people to talk to. Pete wasn't talking to him because of the incident with the street racing, though if Clark was honest with himself, they hadn't been on great terms for a long time. And, at Lex's advice, Clark was mostly keeping his distance from Lana. He still liked her—<em>really</em> liked her—but he didn't want to torment her by stringing her along when she'd already been so hurt by things he would never be able to explain to her. It wasn't fair to either of them.</p><p>He spent lunchtime in the Torch office, typing up some reports Chloe had given him. For the first few minutes, they sat at desks faced away from each other, each working at computers, but then she glanced back at him and asked, "How are you holding up?"</p><p>Clark grimaced and turned away from the computer to face her. "Is it that obvious?"</p><p>She swiveled her chair around and rolled a few inches closer to him, leaning forward a bit. "Well, yes, your poker face leaves a bit to be desired. But, um, Lex came and talked to me last night."</p><p>"Really?" Clark hadn't realized Lex had gone around telling everyone where he was going.</p><p>"Yeah. To warn me to stay out of whatever he's going to do, and, uh . . ." She bit her lip. "To tell me to keep an eye on you and make sure you were doing alright."</p><p>"Oh." Clark might have been annoyed under any other circumstances, but for now, he couldn't bring himself to feel any annoyance. That was just Lex all over. "I'm okay. Just worried about him."</p><p>"Me, too. I mean, not as much as you, I'm sure, but . . . he's a good guy, you know? My dad has a lot of respect for him."</p><p>Clark nodded. "I asked him to take me with him. To help him."</p><p>"With Lionel?"</p><p>Clark lowered his voice, glancing toward the door to make sure there was no one listening in before answering. "Yeah. Getting him locked up for good."</p><p>"Worthy cause if i ever head one," Chloe muttered under her breath.</p><p>"Yeah, but I worry he's gonna get himself killed. He's trying to earn Lionel's trust and merge their companies—"</p><p>"Whoa, whoa, wait. LexCorp and LuthorCorp?"</p><p>Clark nodded.</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"He thinks it'll give him security access to some information he wouldn't have otherwise, and let him get close to Lionel so he can collect evidence against him."</p><p>"Well, if it's just information he wants, I've got contacts and a father who sleeps really soundly, with his security card hanging from a hook in the kitchen."</p><p>"I don't know, Chloe. He kind of told us to stay out of this."</p><p>"Wasn't he having drug-induced hallucinations just a few months ago?"</p><p>For a moment, anger pulsed in Clark's veins. "That wasn't his fault."</p><p>"No, no, I know! But I'm just saying, this is really important. I don't know if we want to go by his judgement."</p><p>Clark let his breath out. He could see what Chloe was saying, but he didn't have a good feeling about this. "Chloe, I just really think it would be best if you stayed out of this."</p><p>"Okay. I'll butt out."</p><p>"Thank you."</p><p>"And if you want to talk about anything, I'm here for you."</p><p>"I appreciate it, Chloe."</p><p>They both went back to their work on the computers, and Clark couldn't help but be thankful that talking her out of breaking into LuthorCorp had been so easy.</p>
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